It was a dark overcast day in a small town. I was sitting on a sofa on the back porch of an old house watching the rain. It was really pouring down. My girlfriend had just broken up with me and I decided I'd had enough of life. Three of my brothers were killed in accidents and I wanted to know were they went, as I loved them and had no feelings for anyone else in this life except my girlfriend. She wasn't someone who would reciprocate love. She was young too and just wanted to have fun. I took some drugs and drank a small bottle of strong whiskey. I lay down and decided to stop breathing. There was no reflex action to breath again, I just sunk deeper and deeper into unconsciousness. To my surprise, I was again watching the rain but it was hitting the ground in slow motion. There was plenty of time to watch each individual drop, even though it was raining even harder now. Then everything went white, like a bright mist. The mist cleared as I moved forward. There was no sensation of walking. I just wanted to move forward and that's where I went. As the mist cleared, I looked down. There was a line or boundary that I knew I wasn't to cross. Beyond the line, there was a very large, plain building with an opening like an arch at its base. People were coming through the mist and passing through the opening as if it was the normal thing to do. As I pondered this situation, a women in her 50's came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder. She said, "You know you're not suppose to be here, aye?" I got the impression she could tell I wasn't in a good state of mind and I knew I wasn't going to get any further than this. Just as I was turning back I woke up. I don't know how she found me but the girlfriend I mentioned was dragging me across the floor screaming "wake up!" I vomited and began breathing. She said I was blue. There wasn't anything good about the experience. I just felt more confused.
Date NDE Occurred: 1990
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had decided to stop breathing
How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness It just all feels the same. I have memories of knowing my last life ended really badly, like there was a war but I was on the bad guys side. I remember coming into this life through obe, imediately after my twin sister was born. I remember she was the last person I spoke to before lying down on a bed of light and then appearing over my mother in the delivery room.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I saw the line I knew what it was and why it was there. I knew I'd been here before; it just all feels the same. I have memories of knowing my last life ended really badly, like there was a war but I was on the bad guy's side. I remember coming into this life through OBE, immediately after my twin sister was born. I remember she was the last person I spoke to before lying down on a bed of light and then appearing over my mother in the delivery room.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
I watched the heavy rain hit the concrete in slow motion for about ten seconds. When I realized it wasn't right, the scene changed.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. You're able to zoom in with great detail to anything you concentrate on
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Telepathy only
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I encountered a feminine entity. She was on duty that day.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A fine white mist I'd associate with unknowing or uncertainty. It cleared as I recognized my surroundings first in my mind, then in my mind's "eye"
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I'd say it was a platform designed to orientate people for a easier transition into the afterlife
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Nothing usual. I did realize later that freedom is the greatest feeling but I wouldn't call it an emotion. It simply descends into emotions like love, compassion, happiness, and with empathy and it just gets worse from there the more selfish you get.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future As a teenager I could see into the future. It happened every single day. I would see it in dreams every night. It made my life extremely confusing and I turned to drugs to make it go away. Between the ages of 17 and 25, I studied physics to try and find out how it works. When I was 23 yrs old, I dreamt of meeting a Buddhist monk and I did two years later. He showed me how its works. I now choose not to know but I can tell you that human density has a happy storyline.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I saw a boundary in the mist. When I focused on that area, I knew what it was and why it was there.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I knew I'd failed in my mission to find my brothers, so I returned.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist I was brought up with a catholic mother and atheist father
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I love meditation
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Buddhist Id say buddhist in my outlook as they have a good scientific understanding of spiritual demensions
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience It was almost exactly like the Christian panflits descirbe at church when I was a kid. They forgot to say heaven is open to non christians too though. They forgot to say its a personal experience not an exclusively christain one. They wouldn't have their church or business model if they did though so I can see why.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't interfere in peoples' lives in any way except to help control human pollution. I try to stay away from people. My experiences have left me isolated and alone. I don't talk about it. I don't make friends because of it. I love the earth, not the people on it. In a few years I'll be gone. All I see is the emptiness, the now-ness and the fantastic feeling of freedom.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No I would worried if I did. They shouldn't be there
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I think the concept of god is silly. If you have any sense of self contained within the boundaries of "entity" you have failed in you understanding. You're just seeing what you want to see
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Its obvious we do but people can't be people if we know that for sure. We have chosen as a group not to find out yet.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real This life is the dream
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have a lot to share outside this experience but I have tried to keep my answers limited directly to it. Someone said we are "seats of consciousness" and that's about as close as we're going to get to understanding what we really are.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I am grateful for this website for doing what it does. Thanks guys
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