Nicolas F NDE

Experience Description

Waiting, about 30 minutes, for a simple surgery of discal hernia, I went to sleep at the surgical unit. I had told them that I had a pain in the stomach due to deep anxiety. I left for the surgical unit around 10:30 and woke up at 12:30. In fact, I woke up three days later. I had what is called hypoxia due to anesthesia. 1.3 Liters of gastric fluid was extracted from my stomach, but a part of it had the time to spread into my lungs. The hospital called my wife, as my condition was considered critical and my prognosis for survival was at the end of the night.

The sensation I felt is quite indescribable; a kind of total weightlessness. It was like a hand carrying you, but floating would also be an accurate description. I'm in a tunnel, a kind of gigantic vault, dark and lit up at the same time. I'm surrounded by dozens of people, all more thoughtful, gentle, smiling, and kinder than the others. They all look at me but I'm unable to distinguish their faces. Men and women, I can distinguish gender. In order to describe with words, indescribable feelings, I would say that you have a 360° vision, and we are conscious about everything.

I could say that at that moment, I was my hospital bed, and I was this vault, I was everything, I could be everything. I was aware of everything surrounding me and I was moving forward, held by 'this hand'. One should know that at the same moment I was in a bed, connected to 12 machines and attached. I didn't feel any hurt, no pain but rather an extreme appeasement. I was spoken to, without speaking; today I still don't find the words to describe it. The 'kind' people being there, talked to me in a kind of telepathy, a transmission of thought. They spoke of nothing special, yet of an absolute knowledge. I had the impression that they were the past, the present and the future, as if they were a being, much bigger than we would want to imagine. This had nothing to do with anything mystical. I am a believer but I have not practiced in many years.

Then there is the famous light. The attraction towards this absolute gentleness, as if you would look at the sun without being dazzled, and you could see beyond the sun, as if looking through it. During this horizontal movement, I was never at the level of the people surrounding me, I was above them, very slightly, I would say some 50 centimeters. They didn't look at the light; they were there, along my way.

It is at this moment that a giant hand came to rip open this tunnel. This hand was accompanied by one single sentence, ‘you don't have the right to leave us now.’ I saw that hand, yet I was unable to take it. I wasn't in a bodily envelope gifted with motion, I was there; my consciousness was there. It was the beings surrounding me, showing me, who were sending me the softest smiles I ever saw. They 'told' me to take it.

What I know is that I 'took' this hand and that I woke up. In fact, I only came out of the coma 24 hours after this 'hand' experience.

So, it was at 12:30 that I was told everything that happened to me, while a respirator still obstructed my mouth. In every case, I can assure you, that I'm still remembering with the same emotion, the first sunrise in this intensive care unit. I got a message, I came back with something more. Was it a gift? I don't know but I look around today 'knowing something', but what?

It’s difficult to talk about it; people can't tolerate the irrational, nothing that does not have a deep medical explanation. By the way, before my operation I couldn't walk anymore, my right leg was paralyzed, my right foot turned outside 35°. I came back from the surgical unit, not having been operated on. I made this journey, I came back from it, and 24 hours later, I got up, without any manifestation of the problem that brought me there. Another disturbing fact was that I had been writing legibly with my right hand that had been attached to my bed. It was written there 'I don't want to die'. I wrote this sentence when my wife said to me, ‘you cannot leave us now.’

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: Juin 2012

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes While under general anesthesia. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I heard one person say to me, ‘85.’ It was very clear. This was my brother who came to see me and not knowing what to say, he gave me the net sales of the day of my accident 85000€. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As already told, the closest feeling to the truth would be 'absolute knowledge'. Being yourself and being everything around you; every person, every object (this said, there were no objects), the 360° vision, the weightlessness.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? My highest level of consciousness and alertness was in the middle of the journey. It’s impossible to tell you how I arrived where I was. But, you could hang me, I was there!

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Very clearly, there was no notion of time anymore. It no longer held any importance. By the way, my journey lasted several days. In my eyes, I'm telling you this as if I was there only about five minutes.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No need for glasses! I saw perfectly well.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was unbelievably sharp. I heard the 'back rows' talking as clearly to me as the persons just in front of me.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I should say it was more of a vault, I can but describe a horizontal journey in a tunnel, even if it had rather huge dimensions. If I had to compare it to something material, it would be a kind of igloo, a round main hall, and then a tunnel to go into.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I didn't identify known persons or religious ones, or any of my family, it was entities, no skin color, no religion. They were just there.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes This main hall is a vault; the light is in the tunnel.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm As explained before, this place is not an 'earthly' one, it's a kind of void. It's a vault. It could be here or elsewhere. But the weightlessness hand carrying me, tells me that all was floating.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt appeasement, silence, and calm; something like what you would feel when you see an aurora borealis, or when observing a galaxy, something deeply calm and kind.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Again very difficult to be able to say that I was everything and everything was me. I was aware of everything and everybody. There was no material object and yet I felt that I could understand everything, know everything, experience everything and especially the Universe.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I had no will, not to be there, nor to stay, but I had no awareness of a decision to 'stay or go'. In a physical place you can decide to stay or go. There, I was. Things changed at the moment of the hand, the beings present started to move at this moment, and again no decision of willing to come back to life. I was told 'look' and I saw, even so I had a 360° vision!

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Non pratiquant

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain There was no religious tone in my journey, but one has to admit that at the least experience, being the slightest bit out of the ordinary, one has the tendency to load it onto the religious message.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Slightly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic toujours pas plus pratiquant !

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience On m'a toujours dit paradis, dieu diable, jésus et sainte marie mère de dieu. Rien de tout cela. Je ne m'attendais pas à cela mais je peux vous dire qu'on meurt calme et serein.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I'm a non-practicing Catholic, and of Jewish origins. I took my time to reflect upon the religious question. I don't know if all this is related to a divinity (whatever kind of). This type of experience is at least mystical in the eyes of many. Some might see the intervention of a divine hand, others not. As for me, I'm hesitating. I tell myself if God existed he would not let me have this experience. At that time, my fear of death made it so I often addressed him, to tell him, ‘everything except now.’ Did he address a reply to me because of my message? Today I have no fear at all of death.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Not a precise being, precise beings yes; even plenty of beings. Voices also, their thoughts, in fact I was they, they were me. It was a kind of silent hubbub. It's awful not to have the words to tell you.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes C'est entre autres cette sensation d'être tout. c'est valable pour les choses et les personnes mais aussi pour le temps. J'étais "le temps". Et pour autant il n'y avait pas de notion de temps. quand je vous dis que c'est à s'arracher les cheveux.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Très clairement pour le coup le mot existe. Universalité. L'Homme n'est qu'un il fait partie de l'univers, l'univers fait partie de lui. Mais nous n'avons qu'une vision restreinte de l'univers. Pour moi il était un froid dans le dos avant, une sorte de go

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain Là est toute ma question... est-ce une influence divine? est-ce une image divine?

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes To do good and to help people that are around me.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Oui, un message de paix. Un message encore une fois d'universalité. Pas de couleur de peau, pas de religion, pas d'argent, d'impôts de politique de pouvoir. Vous êtes tout, tout le monde est vous. Et il y a ce dôme, cette voûte que je pense être une voûte

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Je suis croyant mais non pratiquant. je détache donc mes propos d'une quelconque image religieuse. il y avait des gens, ils n'étaient pas en chair et en os mais ils étaient là. Des esprits dans des corps. Ils sont là pour nous rassurer, pour que nous ne s

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Compliqué. Je pouvais voir à 360° mais je ne pouvais pas regarder en arrière, je ne pouvais regarder qu'en avant. J'allais vers le bien. On m'a donné un travail, une mission? un devoir... faire le bien, aider les gens.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Ca va paraître très peace and love mais encore une fois une sorte de "aimez vous les uns les autres".

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Every changed! I will have to find what was left to me when I came back.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I tried very much to explain it, to depict it but the words, and I'm not known to be lacking words, don't exist. I even thought about painting it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Autant il peut y avoir des souvenirs qui sont comme des songes. on a l'impression de s'en rappeler avec précision. Pour ce qui concerne cela, on peut me faire subir les supplices des Borgia, je n'en changerai pas une ligne. C'est là c'est en moi "à la virgule près". J'aimerais avoir le don du dessin pour pouvoir vous le montrer.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No Two faculties. The first incident being that I have been healed of a discal hernia without any surgical intervention. I have a rebuilt lung that had been destroyed by gastric fluids. The doctor of the hospital still does not understand why/how. It seems that the anesthetist, my reanimating doctor and my surgeon wrote a medical article on the subject.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I got a message, the message of life and death.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I would say the next day after waking up I shared it with my wife who showed me what I wrote during my journey. Then to my brother who confirmed the 85000. To tell the truth they have not been influenced, they didn't say anything. They explained this like everybody else, as due to the medicines I was given. I had no idea about the universality of what I described. Apparently I'm far from being the only one, having described this experience in this way.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I knew the word, nothing more! I never looked into this matter, nor had I read anything at all. It was when watching a movie (beyond) that I let fall my coffee cup when listening to this actress (acting a Swiss doctor) telling what I described word for word.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Because it is a part of yourself and because you can dive into yourself to remember the least picture, the sensations. But above all, you are still searching for the words to describe it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Again because I remember it as if it happened today.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No