I fell out of an attic onto a concrete garage floor head first. My mother said that when she came to the doorway of the garage, my body was blue and I was not breathing. I remember having an out of body experience right after I fell, because I was standing in the attic looking at my sister as she came around some boxes, saw me lying on the floor, and climbed down the ladder yelling for my mother. Then I was at the opening of the attic, looking down on myself on the garage floor. Then there was nothingness. The next thing I remember was being in my body, lying on my mother's bed, hearing my mother crying and screaming and feeling my body jerk and twist violently over and over again. I couldn't control it whatsoever, but as my head swung back and forth, I saw my sister standing in the doorway looking terrified as she watched me convulse. I remember distinctly thinking that I did not want her to see me like this and that I felt horrible that this was going to traumatize her. Then there was nothingness again.
The next thing that I remember was being out of my body in the hospital room, floating up next to the ceiling and looking at myself lying in the hospital bed. I was hooked up to monitors and there was a window in my room with a nurse's station behind it, but I looked in on them and they were both busy with paperwork and weren't watching my body at that very moment. I floated over to the door and went through this little glass window without even thinking about it; then I was out in the hallway of the hospital and I saw my mother waiting in line to get on the elevator. She had her hair up in a bun and was wearing a raincoat.
Then I was back in my room and I went over to the window, not paying any attention to my body in the bed, and looked out the window. I was several stories up, and it was nighttime, but I could see all the traffic on the street below, I watched the traffic lights change colors, I knew that it was raining. I do not remember anything else until I recovered two days later.
Date NDE Occurred: October 1976
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Direct head injury Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was out of my body.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was out of my body.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Things were choppy; the best way to describe it is a movie or television program that skips often, i.e. there are jumbled up memories with blank spaces in between them and I have very little reference to time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. If I focused on something and desired to come closer to it, it happened instantaneously. I could zoom in or zoom out on whatever I was looking at, such as my mother down the hall.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no sound, just silence.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I only remember certain parts of the experience, and I didn't remember them until later on in childhood, maybe when I was eleven or twelve years old. Recounting my experience through this form is helping me to pull some things up, but anything that I do not know for certain happened to me, I will say I am uncertain about.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I do not know because I can't recall anything; things that come to me seem tainted by religious indoctrination.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I am not sure, but I believe that while I was floating above the traffic, looking at the headlights, that one of them seemed to rise up and become an all-encompassing white light that left me in white nothingness.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I just can't remember.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confusion at first, then wondering where my mother was, which I suppose is what caused me to go out into the hallway to find her standing in front of the elevator. Once I saw her, there was confusion again and the next thing I remember is looking out the window and then being outside, floating high in the air over the traffic below and seeing the rain, but I did not feel it.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control This I'm really intrigued by because I remember being born and I wonder if the memories I have of the event are actually memories of my life review. Does that make sense? I remember floating in the delivery room, but I did not know that it was a delivery room. I watched my mother being wheeled in on a bed, heard her screaming. I thought that she was dying and that I was the one who had come to take her to the other world. There was another presence with me, beside me, floating in the air, but I could not see the entity. Then I saw the doctor delivering me.
The next thing I knew, I was in my body and someone was holding me cradled in one hand and arm, and using a suction device on me. I don't know if I heard the person say 'Breathe, breathe,' or if I just understood it but I took a deep breath when they pulled the suction out of my mouth and I know at that point that I could feel the person's joy, the person who was holding me was so relieved. I remember the person's face was close to mine and I felt so loved.
Then my father was rocking me. I couldn't have been more than a few months old, he was burping me after a bottle, and I spit up on his shoulder. He laid me down on the bed and took off his shirt, but he had an undershirt on too. He picked me back up and sat in the rocking chair again and I spit up on him again. He took off his t-shirt and I remember clearly him saying to me, 'Don't spit up on me anymore baby because I don't have anything else to take off.' And I remember thinking clear and concise, with the mind of a thirty-year-old, 'I'll try my best not to, Daddy; I don't want to disappoint you.' In that moment I remember feeling an overwhelming love for my father, and an intense desire to please him. When I recounted this story to my father years later, he grew pale and quiet and seemed clearly disturbed. If this was a life review, I viewed mine from the first person perspective.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I don't have any recollection of a dispensation of special knowledge. I remember love being the driving force behind every thought and deed.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My mother and I grew apart after this and our relationship has never been good.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I don't know if I saw spirits before my accident, but I know that afterwards I begin to see them and it was afterwards that my mother said I suddenly had an imaginary friend. She also said that my personality changed and I no longer wanted to be hugged and held; she said that I began drawing crosses all the time.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Something must have happened which was emotionally profound, because all through my childhood and early adult years, I experienced intense feelings of loneliness and longing for something which I knew could not be found on Earth. I don't know how to describe it other than a place where there is total acceptance and overwhelming love like nothing a person feels here on Earth. As an adult, what is significant to me now is the overwhelming love and desire for me to exist that I felt coming from the medical professionals who worked on me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I first shared the experience with my mother and at that time it had been about eighteen years since the event. I shared with my father several years after that, probably twenty years after the event. Both of my parents were disturbed, my father to the point of refusing to discuss it, my mother more receptive but still not wanting to really discuss it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I had no memory of it as a small child, but when the memories came back to me as a pre-teen, I knew without a doubt that they were real. Those memories are even more real to me than memories of things that happened in my everyday life, because I had the intellect of an adult when I experienced them, and I could feel the emotions clearly of the people I was interacting with. I am still highly perceptive to other people's emotions.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Please refer to above.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I think that it is significant that my mind worked on par with that of a thirty year old person when I was only an infant and toddler. However, in everyday life, I did not remember having that level of cognizance and clearly I didn't or my parents would have noticed it quick, as would doctors. The only period where my mind seemed to function fully like an adult's was during this accident and the recovery period.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? There are not any questions I can think of that would help improve the ability to convey what happened. I just wish that I could remember more.