Experience Description

(I don't have much time right now for detail but will give a brief description)

I was at the dentist having a root canal done. The dentist had a cocaine problem (I knew him somewhat socially) and was high while working on me. He cranked the nitrous oxide up really high and was cutting off my air supply with the mask. I am very drug sensitive and felt myself going right out of my body. I struggled back, took off the mask and told him what was going on and he said that I just needed to 'relax and go with it'. So I did.

I went out of my body and was floating up over us. I had an urge to pass right through the second story wall to the outside and did. I hovered over the Pacific Coast Highway and watched cars passing by below. I felt extremely peaceful. After a little while I had a pleasurable urge to just shoot through space and sort of streamlined my form (although I never looked at my spirit body) and rocketed out into the cool, dark space. Yes, I could feel that it was cool out there and the darkness was calm and peaceful.

I started noticing little points of light whizzing past me (or I past them). I don't know what they were but they looked like stars in the night sky. It seemed that I was traveling at the speed of light, although I can't say what I base that on. Very suddenly, I stopped traveling. I had been looking downward the whole time and so I can't say if I was traveling toward a light or not, but when I looked up I was on the beginning fringes of the most beautiful GOLDEN LIGHT. I know others talk of a white light, but the light I experienced was very golden. The light had little sparkles in it like glitter and when the light passed through me, it had intelligence and emotion. It filled me with unconditional pure, pure love and intense peacefulness.

I looked ahead and saw an old friend of mine who had killed himself sometime before. We communicated with a sort of telepathy in that we talked by exchanging thoughts. I 'said' 'Scott!! Are you alright??' and he said 'I'm SO alright! Just look at where I am!' We hugged and I could feel his body. (To this day, I can feel the place on my arm where his arm wrapped around mine!) At about this point I realized that if I was where Scott was, I must also be dead. I started to feel a panic about whether or not I would go to hell for having had an abortion. The light communicated to me that I was completely loved and that the difficulty of the human condition was totally understood. I was told 'EVERYTHING IS COMPLETELY ALRIGHT' I can't communicate the intense and all-encompassing nature of that statement, but it completely washed away every single fear I ever had.

Scott told me at that time that I had gone too far and that I had to turn around and go back right away. As I turned around to face back toward the direction of earth, I could hear the dentist saying, 'Come back, please come back!' I also heard him hit my body as if to attempt to bring me around. I was also told that there was a lot more that I had to do before I was going to come back. This was told to me with sort of a fatherly chuckle, as if I had been like a rambunctious kid in going there so soon and had a long and interesting life ahead to take care of before returning.

I felt sorry for the dentist who sounded like he was freaking out and immediately shot back into my body. When my spirit re-entered my body I didn't fill it out any more. I was a little ball behind my chest wall and I had to try to push my chest up in order to take my first breath. It was the hardest thing I have ever done!! The moment that I gasped my first breath my spirit suddenly filled out my whole body from top to bottom. I lay there with my eyes closed trying to think of what to say to the dentist because this had been the most holy experience of my life and I was listening to the dentist talk to the nurses completely frantic and I knew he was afraid of being sued.

I felt that if I were to tell him what happened he might say it was all a dream or something so I decided to protect the experience. I just opened my eyes and said, 'That was weird!' You could have heard a pin drop in there. They were all terrified looking and never said a word to me about what happened at all. I had listened to them talk before they thought I was awake and knew what happened and felt nothing but grateful for the experience so I decided to just leave it alone.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 06/1980

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Overdosed on nitro at dentists office. Clinical death I was overdosed on medication at a dentist's office. I stopped breathing.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I floated over my body with the dentist and nurse working on it below and traveled on from there.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Although my body looked unconscious, my mind/spirit was hyper-aware.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I have no idea how long this took.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain When traveling through space I only looked downward so I can't say if it was a tunnel or not.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Scott Jones, a childhood friend who had committed suicide. Many people say that if you kill yourself you go to hell or whatever - Scott was in this beautiful place, exactly as he deserved to be. He was a very kind and loving, sensitive person who suffered too much in his life. I think that God dearly loves us and understands.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Beautiful golden light with little glittery bits to it. Just beautiful and full of love, peace, intelligence. I feel the light was God.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Deep peaceful space and the beautiful golden light (the very beginning of it).

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe This is something I don't know how to explain except to say that I have a strong feeling that there are things I am supposed to do but I can't bring them up to a conscious level. I do feel that I need to share my experience and to stress that the love of God is for everyone. It isn't exclusive to one particular religion, race, sexual orientation, etc. etc.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Except that when I did feel a little panic about having had an abortion, the light told me that everything is completely understood and completely alright. I was told I was loved.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I was told that there was a lot more I had to do. I do not know of specific things like future wars or anything of that nature.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I was stopped at the very beginning of the light. I was not allowed to go farther.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was told that I had to go back right away and when I heard the dentist begging me to come back I felt I had to also. Coming back is very difficult though. It's visiting paradise and returning to earthly life with all it's challenges. Extremely painful at times. A blessing at other moments.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Growing up I was not allowed to go to a church. My parents were atheists who stressed that religion was for the ignorant. I had some out of body experiences during childhood and felt a spiritual presence in my life but this presence was never attached to any formal religion.

What is your religion now? Liberal I still don't know what to call God or what formal religion I would fit into. I only know that what I experienced during the NDE was more real than the rest of my life is and that if this unconditional love and peace was there for me, it is there for everyone. I am very much turned off by the exclusionary aspects of fundamentalist Christian faith because it seems to teach an intolerance that is quite the opposite from the love of the light of God.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I know that I know very little. I know that God is more real, and an afterlife is more real than anything that happens here. I know that we should try to relieve the suffering of all beings. I know that kindness and a non-judgmental nature are important. I know that dying is the most beautiful thing you could ever imagine and I so wish I could help reassure all who are afraid of death.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes So difficult, in fact, that I have been told several times that when I relate my experience it will come out differently on each telling. Some things remain the same but so much happened at once that it's hard to know sometimes who said what to me and in what order. The intensity and depth of the NDE has no words in the English language to do it justice. The telling of the story can be quite frustrating and yet I feel such a need to tell people about it. I feel it may be part of the reason I had this experience - to help someone with the information.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best: Feeling the light tell me that absolutely everything was completely alright. Worst: Having to struggle to make my body breathe again.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The first time I was treated like I was a crazy lady so I didn't talk about it for two years. Since then I talk to anyone who I think might be helped by hearing my experience. Some people have been comforted, especially those who have recently lost someone. The family members of Scott, the person I met up with, were very happy to hear about it. (Some of them were visited by him on the night he died.)

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I want so much to understand what my 'calling' is and to dedicate my life to it. But I really don't know yet.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? You're doing just great!