Experience Description

I am a type-one diabetic. I lived on my own but when I felt ill, I would stay at my parents. Well, on Saturday, November 20, 1999, I had the flu and of course was with my parents. Nothing special. My parents wanted me to go to the emergency room, but I of course refused, and said the next day I would go if not better. Well, I stayed on the couch that night due in part to the fact I could walk straight and all the pain and trouble breathing. As the night went on I started to do some crazy things. I thought the alarm clock my mom brought down was a glass of water and picked it up to drink a few times. I also started to breath heavily and go in and out of deep sleep. Then, I woke up at 8:10 and started talking to my mom. She was in a recliner behind me.

I told her it was my time to go and that I loved her and all I ever wanted out of life was to be a happy girl. I kept telling her this over and over. In between though, I kept telling the person who was waiting for me to 'Shut up, and quit being an asshole.' This person I did not know or had ever seen before, but he was there to take me with him. All the while this was going on my sister upstairs could hear and kept thinking to herself 'shut up already' then she said she heard a voice say, 'She's dying,' over and over. During this time my mom came over to the couch and laid down on the other end and rubbed my extremely cold legs (as she put it) and got me to go back to sleep. By 8:25, I was gone.

My mom woke up to use the rest room around 10:00 and get me ready for the emergency room visit. When a voice said to her, 'She's dead and you'd better do something.' That's when my mom ran to me (mind you I am right beside her watching and listening to her). Then she ran for my dad. My sister came down at the time and told my mom to look at me and said she's dead. (I was the 'death grey' as they call it.) My dad came down and shook me and yelled for me to wake up. Then he thought to get the coffee table out of the way. My mom did compressions and my dad did breaths. My sister called 911 and I hung with her on the porch for a while until I heard a siren in the distance.

Then suddenly I was grabbed up and felt myself go into what was like a waiting room. It was peaceful and I loved it. I wanted to stay. I had an overview of my life, who I should be with and who I shouldn't, what life was and a taste of it I guess is a way to put it. I only remember a feeling of it now but at the time, I know it was beautiful. I also remember hearing prayers from my family. I remember some of their thoughts and fears too. I remember them being told that I was down way too long and I was, as I put it now, MUSH. They need to let me go. Then I remember prayers. I wanted to stay and I guess you could say fought to stay and was angry I was pushed back out and told to live. That's when to the amazement of everyone, I opened my eyes and held out my hand to my shocked parents sitting beside me. I couldn't say anything because of the tube down my throat but I do remember looking at the little board across from my bed and it said, Monday, November 22, 1999 and your nurses today are, Terri and Teresa.

And I went back to sleep. Only to find many visitors who couldn't believe I was alive staring at me. I went through; pardon my pun, hell to get where I am today. I remember the peace and goodness I felt but also a slight anger towards being back. I've tried to talk about all this and more to my mom but it's too much for her and she herself has been through hell and back due to this. My sister has been great and my husband (I was dating him at the time) has been wonderful too. It's so hard to put in words the feelings and words that were spoken during my 'out time'. It's hard to find the right words to write to you to even have you begin to understand an ounce of what it was like. No meanness meant.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 11-21-99

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Illness DEAD. No pulse, no breath, no function of any kind. Been down for over an hour.(what they estimated)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes It was aware, watching and I was communicating with the person who was with me.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was dead. (But fully awake watching from above.)

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? No unusual noises only voices. Sometimes there was no face to a voice I'd hear. But I never really looked for one, you just felt the presence.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Yes, no one I knew. When he first came, I was talking to my mom. He told me it was time and he would take me where I needed to go. (He stood between the kitchen and den in my parent's home, while I talked to my mom before I left.)

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Unless you consider what I thought was a waiting room another dimension.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Let's just say I let go of a few friendships. I also have opened myself up to; I guess you could say to, predicting the outcome of some things in life. Hard to explain.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future If I did I can honestly say I don't remember.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I begged to stay. I was angry and yet okay and at peace still. I remember being shown one of the reasons why I came back. That's why I let it go and came back. I loved this person too much to let them endure what they would have endured. They've had enough and I am here yet.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes How life is, what the meaning of death and life are. Thing that again I find hard to find the right words for.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The effects of it. What all I saw, endured and experienced. Some might think I am crazy. (To put it lightly.) If you've never been there, how can I expect someone else to understand?

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes One thing in some events, I can predict the outcome. And another is too hard to explain. (It has to do with danger, evil, hard to write but easy to say.)

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The worst, guilt, best, peace.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some are interested and believe others think I'm nuts.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Just, be good to your 'fellow man' because you do have to answer for all and he knows it all. It may sound preachy but that's one thing I will never forget is my life before my eyes and having to answer for it.