I woke up, having no idea what had happened to me. My mother was next to my hospital bed. I asked 'What am I doing here? Was I in a car accident', and she tried to explain to me that during a regular surgery for an ovarian cyst removal I had stopped breathing. I was 'Code Blue' (an emergency hospital code used to indicate a patient is requiring immediate resuscitation) at the hospital three days before.
I remember being in my hospital bed, watching all the doctors and nurses working on what I thought was my roommate at the hospital. It turned out I never shared my hospital room with anybody. I heard all the loud noises of the hospital equipment and people shouting orders, like 'We are going to lose her, hurry up with the paddles'. I was shocked three consecutive times to get my heart re-started. The 4-5 minutes I was 'dead' seemed to be forever.
During that time, I was drawn to what looked like three very large angels sitting in a pew. Next to them, I saw a little angel crying. I was so overwhelmed and felt so much compassion to see her somehow, I 'flew' over to her and, to my surprise, it was me! Then I flew back to the three larger angels with really big wings, who had no expression at all. I wanted to sit with them, but they would not let me. I was very upset and I wanted to be with the angels so badly. They or some entity or feeling was trying to send me back. I was again very upset that nobody wanted me to stay. It felt so peaceful and secure there. I did not understand why they would not keep me.
During this time period, I saw and spoke to several deceased relatives. First was my grandmother. She told me to put my angel costume on and that we would fly around to see some other people we both knew that had passed. She held my hand and guided me to see grandpa. He said 'Hello, hello', to me. I asked why he said hello twice and he replied 'One for you and one hello for your mother'.
Then my grandma took me to see my Uncle Stan, who had died by carbon dioxide from his car in his garage. We do not know if it was suicide, accident or murder to this day. I saw a bruise or a black spot on his forehead. Four years later I found out only one person knew about the bruise on his forehead. He lived in New York and I Florida - so I could not have seen him before my 'accident'. My cousin in NY confirmed the mark on his forehead after hearing my story four years later. My Uncle Stan then started showing me around this place. Growing up he owned a bunch of bars, drank, and did drugs a lot. He showed me the last bar he owned, and inside. To my surprise, it was full of ice cream and every kind of candy you could imagine! I will never forget the great feeling of joy and excitement at seeing all the different colored candy and ice cream.
I also saw a neighbor who I did not know was dead. His name was Pat. Growing up we would see him at the beach. I would babysit his kids also. I don't know why I saw him.
The last person I saw was my father-in-law, who had passed away at 66 years old with colon cancer. He came to me and explained that I couldn't stay in this peaceful place and that I was needed back for my husband and kids.
That is all for now. I have been wanting to do this for a while now. I have the desire to share my story with others, hopefully to help dying kids and older people to pass over with less fear and anxiety.
Submitted a week later: As I was reading Rick R's NDE, I remembered something about double doors. People were calling my name and wanted me there fast, so I began running and running up what seemed like a non-ending spiral staircase. When I got to the top, an old man was laying on a hospital bed, ready to go through these huge double doors. You could see the bright light coming from the doors, and people were all saying goodbye to the man. It was like family were all around him talking to him and giving him hugs, and behind him were a line of people waiting to get through the doors. He saw me and I just felt love pouring from his body. I don't know who this man was - he just wanted to say goodbye me.
Date NDE Occurred: 7/25/2000
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) 'heart stopped during surgery, the docs had to paddle my chest 3 times before i came back..'
My heart stopped during surgery for the removal of a cyst.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When my grandmother and I went to the most beautiful church I have ever seen. As we flew in I could see a little angel up were the choirs would sing. She had her head down and she was crying. I felt such compassion and wanted to help her so I flew over. As I got up to her face it was me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I didn't really know I was dead. It was weird and hard to explain.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. When my uncle took me to the bar he used to own and it was now the most beautiful candy and ice cream shop. All the colors were so bright and the candy was so wonderful, I felt like Willy Wonka and the candy factory. As a kid, that was my favorite move. This was my Uncle Stan, who died at age 42.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was not talking, but rather like telepathy.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I'm just not sure.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My grandmother met me. She took me to my grandpa. I saw my Uncle Stan. I saw my sister's best friend, who had hung herself. She looked really beautiful. She was the prettiest girl in high school. My sister, Pam, told her parents I saw her and they did not say much. They didn't believe I saw her. We thought they would be so happy. The last person I saw was Pat, a neighbor who I did not even know was dead. When we were kids I played with his kids, and my mom and dad were friends of his.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No Probably because they told me when first got there to put on an angel costume, like I was only to be there a short time. I wish I knew why. Every day I ask myself that same thing, 'Why me and what should I do?'. When I tell people they think I'm crazy, or they say they believe but you can tell they're not really listening and they start talking about something else real quick. There were only two people who really wanted to know everything and asked a million questions, but they both died. Maybe they knew their time was coming up.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm JUST THE ICECREAM CANDY STORE CANT EXPLAIN HOW BEAUTIFUL IT LOOKED,AND GOING IN THE CHURCH THE PEWS WERE LIKE MADE OF GOLD MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I EVER SAW.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calm, happy to see everyone, joy and wanting to stay with them. I am happy now that I'm home though to take care of my family. I have two boys and a husband.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate i was born a catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate catholic
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The other night I was at a candle party. My mom's friend was there. She lost her husband and daughter within a two-year span. I was at her daughter's wake and everyone was putting money in their envelopes. That night I didn't have any cash, so I thought I would just write her something. I was feeling cheap because of this. I thought she would think I was cheap. So, months went by and I saw her at this candle party. She asked 'Can I talk to you?'. I said 'Sure'. She started crying. In the letter, I had told her 'I've been in Heaven and trust me; she is in a better place than we're in. She is with you all the time'. She hugged me and told me she reads my cheap little card whenever she gets sad. She asked 'Is she really in a better place?' hugging me. I said 'Yes, trust me'. I felt so good to make her happy.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Well, I think I can help people who are afraid of dying, and I don't sweat the small stuff.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole thing.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I've told many people. A lot probably forgot two minutes later. The only people that seemed like they were really into it died.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes My husband had one before I met him, but he doesn't remember anything.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Around a week later I remembered that my husband's father told me that I had to go back as his son and my two boys needed me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I just know it wasn't a dream. It's a gut feeling and a true gift to go through. It took me a long time to realize that.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes After someone gave me a Vicodin I said 'No, I'm not in pain'. They said 'Just try one'. I said ok and was hooked for five years, because it gave me the feeling of Heaven I think. Finally, I went to detox and an aftercare for two months. Thank God, as it was killing my emotions and me. I thank God every day, and my husband for getting help. I've never been addicted to anything. I have never smoked anything, even as a teenager. I never drank as it always made me feel sick. As a teen, I would just hold a beer to be cool, but I never drank it. Then, at age 36 after the NDE, I became addicted to drugs. I've been clean for almost a year.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? After the NDE, every time my husband would go away for work something would wake me up and make noises. I think it was spirits trying to get my attention, always when I'm alone and around 3am. Anyone could give me a lie detector test and I would pass. All of this really happened.