My husband and I were headed for a divorce. We had only been married for almost a year and I found out that he had been unfaithful. I hated him. I am a recovering alcoholic, so I was determined that I wasn't going to drink because of him. So I would just starve myself a little. I have struggled with anorexia off and on my whole life, but I didn't think it would kill me. I convinced myself that I would be able to stop on time. Things started happening though. I couldn't stop myself. I was losing the battle. I started getting scared; I needed help, and I needed help fast! On June 24th my husband asked if we could talk. He walked in the door no earlier than 8:30 pm. He and I had always connected with music. I played him the song Battleships by Daughtry. Basically, I forgave him. I knew that I needed him more than I needed to be angry with him because I was sick. He was also in recovery and knew that I could not get better on my own. I was dying right in front of him. I remember the shock and agony on his face when he found out that I only weighed 104 lbs. But it still didn't seem like I was in immediate danger.
We decided to go to our spot on the beach and talk. It was my favorite place in the whole world. At around 10:00 pm we were sitting in the sand near the water, and all of a sudden I felt something. All I could think was that my blood sugar had crashed, but this was worse than any other time. I knew I wasn't going to make it off the beach. My husband saw me change. He asked, ‘What's wrong?’ All I could get out was, ‘Blood, sugar.’ He asked me, 'Where are your tablets?' referring to my glucose tablets. I replied, ‘Bag. Home.’ Out of instinct, we got up quickly to get across the beach. I usually had a minute or two before the crash would come and thought that I could make it to the car.
I didn't take two steps before I started leaving my body. My husband says I oozed to the ground. I remember this feeling that my body couldn't hold on anymore, that it was too heavy for me. I said out loud, ‘I thought I had more time. I didn't get to go to Disney world.’ My husband heard me say this. I was talking to a spirit that I had met before. I could hear my husband asking me to get up. I tried, but didn't resist the desire to just lie where I was. I tried to tell him that he would understand why I had to stay here. It was so peaceful. He wouldn't want me to get up if he knew. I could still feel his hand trying to get a pulse on my neck. I felt guilty for not getting to a sitting position. But I was steadfast with my decision to leave. I was looking down at myself on the beach; I can't remember when though.
I thought that this was such a blessing! I got to die at my favorite place in the world! I was now in a space that was golden in color and feel. It was warm. I started seeing images roll in front of my eyes like a movie. With each image, I saw it with pure love. I saw it through God's eyes, not my own. I knew why everything had happened to me; all of the abuse, rejection, hate anger, and abandonment. All of these events had indeed meant something. God wept with me at one point. I felt more love than humanly possible. I had become love. There was not one single reason for me to go back to the human world. I was done. I knew I had a brief second left to tell my husband something. I tried to say ‘I love you so much’, but what came out was, 'I LOVED you so much. Tell my boys I love them and that I will always love them.' I felt a hand on my chest and my breath left me. I saw my heart stop, and then finally my eyes. Then nothingness. It was just a void.
But then things started happening. I felt something being ripped from me. I can only explain that it felt like a demon. I groaned as it happened. My husband said that it sounded like something was coming out of the pits of hell. I started speeding forward as if towards a barrier. I was being chased by evil spirits resembling people from my past who were not dead. But mostly I was chased by a snake-like figure. I heard a voice ask me, 'Mindy, What do you know to be true of Jesus Christ?' I answered, ‘That he died on the cross for me.’ Instantly, light burst through the dark. A hand stretched out and took mine. I ascended upwards, starting as a wild-eyed child and ended up a beautiful woman. I was whole. I was healed. I was in the presence of God. I was loved. I felt like a giddy school girl. I started running up to something like a door. I was excited. It was like I was home after a long time away. All of a sudden I heard a voice cry out, ‘Somebody Help me!!’ I recognized it. It was my husband’s voice. I turned my head, and placed my hand on my heart. I said, ‘I can't leave him like that.’ I felt it with the most tenderness in my heart.
The next thing I felt was a heavy weight, and then I was back in my body. I have the sense that I am naked, and was surprised to see clothes on my body. I started having a seizure, like my body was being jump-started. I fought to regain consciousness even though I felt like I was in the middle of a storm. The air was very loud and felt thick, thicker than wind. I sat up and started screaming out, ‘I think I just died. Love is all that matters!’ My husband and I sat there trying to fit together what we had both just seen and experienced for about 15 minutes. He insisted that I go to the hospital. I didn't disagree with him, but I told him, ‘They aren't going to find anything wrong with me’ and they didn't find anything wrong with me. I was sent home on half a bag of IV fluids and told to seek help for anorexia.
Date NDE Occurred: June 24th 2014
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness. Complications due to Anorexia. Other: My husband was discussing with insurance and therapist hospitalization.
I didn't know that I was in immediate danger. I had been starving myself. I was concerned that my husband was going to hospitalize me. I had been trying to convince him that I could get better.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my husband trying to unlock his phone to call 911, but couldn’t. I saw that the beach was empty. I saw my body lying on the ground. I was pleased about when and where I had died. The facts have been checked out.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Not really sure.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time lost all meaning.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. After the experience there was something about lights; they meant something.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Good
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
The experience included: Hellish imagery
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Everything was emotion.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I knew why everything in my life had happened. I saw it through God's eyes. It was Beautiful.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control My past flashed before me, out of my control.
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes That is where I was asked what I knew to be true of Jesus Christ. When I answered that He died on the cross for me, it was just gone.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I went past that barrier. I couldn't leave my husband that way. He would have thought that he killed me. It was his infidelity that led to me relapsing with my anorexia. He admits to this day that he can't believe that not only I gave him a second chance, but that God would give him a second chance with me. I am the love of his life.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I was baptized at 15 years old. I had turned away from God over and over through out my life.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am in constant prayer.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I went from having faith, to knowing Jesus.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I heard a voice ask me what I know to be true of Jesus Christ. When I answered that he died on the Cross for me, I was in what I believe was heaven.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I just knew that I was in his presence. I was on my way to see him like a child coming home from school rushes in to say hi to her father.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Love is all that matters. Anything and everything should be done with love.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Choose not to share it
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I came back with certainty that the bible was 100% reliable. That spiritual warfare not only existed, but that I had survived it.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is all that Matters
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I have always been spiritual from the time I was a small child, but I became much more so after this experience. Large changes in my life. I have always been spiritual from the time I was a small child, but I became much more so after this experience.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My husband and I are still together, and we are moving forward in amazing ways.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's just impossible to put a feeling into words. How can I describe not just Unconditional Love, but all-encompassing love? Some things are not of this world. I understand things now that that I could not understand before my experience. I sound crazy. No one can understand my crazy.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I’m not really sure. I know things before they happen, but don't know what things, or why. Silly things just go my way now when they never did before go my way. Prayers seem to just be answered. I throw things out into the universe and they just seem to come to fruition.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The next day, I went to my therapist. She had no explanation other than saying that clearly something had happened and that things like this have the ability to change a person forever. I went to my church; they were not sure what to do with it. My husband and I talk about it. I have shared it with my children. It's a lot to swallow, especially when you realize just what it means.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I knew that I had died when I was 1-1/2 years old and knew that I had an out of body experience. I had floated over my body and saw the doctor's working on me. I never read an article nor did I know anything about NDE.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Not really