I liked running at the YMCA in downtown and did so every chance I could. It was a Saturday morning and I had been running for about 15 minutes. Suddenly, I was aware that I was standing over a man who was lying on the ground. Attendants began working on him performing CPR and trying to get him to respond. As I stood there for a moment or two, I became aware of an old friend who was standing next to me. This person was someone I had known for what seemed like a very long time, as in lives before this one. Nonetheless, it was at this moment that I realized that it was my body on which they were working.
Suddenly, the light got very bright. It was not uncomfortable but the light bathed everything with such intensity that it shown through me. Within a moment, I was in another place with my old friend and he was showing me my life as I had lived it. The review was not unpleasant but during the review I could see how my decisions impacted others. I could gauge and feel the impact of my decisions, and how these actions affected other's lives. There were no feelings of guilt or remorse, only the knowledge that I could have done things differently in some of the situations. There was no blame, no remorse, and no feelings of guilt. The ‘life review’ covered my entire earthly life in no more than a few minutes. I could see people, whom I recognized as relatives, on the other side of a river of light. I could feel their love; an intense Love is all that I could feel.
I knew that there was no way that I could fail as long as I could remember this intense feeling of love. My guide and I discussed my staying here or returning to earth. I had a 2 year old son and a wife who needed me. The idea of my son growing up without a father bothered me, so that I felt the 'pull' to return to my body, although I really wanted to stay. I had a choice. I knew that things would turn out O.K. either way, but I decided to return to the body. By this time I was aware of the body being in an ambulance and I was above the vehicle in space, yet I could see inside the ambulance and I could hear the thoughts and voices of the emergency personnel. I no longer recognized the body as being me. Yet, at the same time, I knew that it was my body, and I didn't like the idea of getting back into it.
In the emergency room I was watching the emergency room personnel working on me. I was up in a corner of the emergency room and could hear everything that they were saying and thinking. I was aware that my wife was on her way to the hospital. I was suddenly pulled back into the body. Animation of the heavy, heavy body was very difficult and was the equivalent of wearing six, wet overcoats. It was very had to move and there was much pain in my chest because of the CPR and defibrillation. The skin on my chest had literally been cooked by the device.
After I physically recovered from the heart problem, I had much difficulty accepting this reality. Once I knew that this earthly construct is only an illusion, it took me a good while to accept it again. The human form in not reality, yet it’s an incredible vehicle that allows us to learn and participate. Buying into people's earthly drama was difficult and, at times, hard to be present. My life drastically changed after the event and I found myself wanting to devote as much time to helping others as was possible. I found myself attending church two or three days a week and I worked at being the best father and husband as was possible. Mind you, I still have many shortcomings and have problems with ego, yet I know that this isn't all there is.
Date NDE Occurred: April, 1982
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes CPR given. Heart went into fibralation. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function).
While running at the YMCA my heart went into fibrillation. Immediate efforts were applied to stabilize me.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was aware of events surrounding my medical care and how people were responding to my situation. I clearly left my body and existed outside it. The facts have been checked.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I seemed to be connected to the wisdom of the Universe.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was during my time out of the body that I was aware of everything that was happening. It was intense yet fulfilling at the same time. I was plugged into 'all there is' and had answers to every question that I have ever had.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I wasn't aware of time passing. Everything was happening in the now and I could differentiate past, present, and future.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The world is a dark place compared to where I was. The light was intense as were colors. Everything that I could see was the purest colors, the purest whites, and the intensity was electric.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The hearing was multi-dimensional and I could hear beautiful music, the pulse or vibration of everything, I could hear people's thoughts, and I could hear their voices.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My grandparents, my aunts, my uncles, and a sister who was stillborn and many, many beings whom I have known but not in this life.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The Light envelops everything and we are part of it.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It is a realm that is here. My passing from the physical to that real was easier than walking through a door.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy!!! Joy in the purest and most intense form.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control My past flashed before me, out of my control. We did a life review and I could see how my actions impacted others.
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future There was a river of light between me and the others whom I have known before.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes There was a river of light between me and the others whom I have known before.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I devote as much time as I can to facilitate underprivileged children in their efforts to get an education. The children that I work with are like my own children.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I realized that religions are vehicles where men do their best to describe that which cannot be described by man. There is no one, true belief system. It's all valid, but there's so much more than what can fit into the small box one might describe as a belief system.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't place a huge value on material things. Ownership is a necessity and I have responsibilities to those whom I love.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin He is my spirit guide and I have known him for eons.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Grand parents, aunts, uncles, children, and a sister who was still born.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes What I learned from the life review is that you can't blow life, that it is what it is, an experience that is a gift that is unique to each and every one of us.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I became aware that I am never alone, no matter how isolated I might feel. We are all tied together on a commonality and we are all one.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes God exists in the purest form of Love, and that actually is all there really is.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I know that there's no way to blow life. It is what it is, so enjoy it.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes It is our gift to experience, where we all play roles, and have the freedom to change the script at any time.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I am and was raised as a Catholic. But, I know that we have many, many lives. Where I am confused is if I actually experience these lives or if I am tuned into these lives (much like someone tuning a radio to a frequency). The experience is real, more real than one can simple imagine. There's just way too much detail to be conjured up. I have learned to keep my expience to myself because most people have difficulty accepting it.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Go forth and engage this earthly plane, for it is the most incredible teaching tool devised.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes The hardships, difficulties, challenges are all teaching gifts. There really is never a time that we aren't experiencing problems to solve, and after we solve these problems more will present themselves to us. Protagonists, antagonists, pacifists, murderers, drunks, saints, we all have roles that help others to learn.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes That is all there truly is. LOVE permeates everything that exists.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I pray and meditate every day. I see a much bigger picture than most people and I know that I have an edge on them because of my NDE. It's impossible for me to have a conversation with anyone without getting them to talk about their spiritual experiences. I love to hear what they have to offer. Large changes in my life. I pray and meditate every day. I see a much bigger picture than most people and I know that I have an edge on them because of my NDE. It's impossible for me to have a conversation with anyone without getting them to talk about their spiritual experiences. I love to hear what they have to offer.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My brother got sober and totally changed his life for the better because of my experience. My son grew into adulthood and has his own son today. My wife converted to Catholicism because she wanted to be with me.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I could fill volumes with the nuances of the experience and there simply isn't the time to do that.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Sometimes I know things about people. For example, I knew that my niece was pregnant with a male child, and that the child would have red hair. I see synchronicity events, and I see them everywhere. Sometimes I know when someone is going to make a transition, but it's not something that I readily share for obvious reasons. Then there are the auras, the energy fields that encapsulate people and other living entities.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I am more aware of God.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Not everyone wants to hear this story because they don't have a way of processing it, UNLESS they are Buddhists, Hindus, or new age folks. I don't bother to share it with mainstream Christians, and certainly not with my Jewish friends.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real This existence isn't real, and I had a hard time buying back into this reality.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Life is a challenge and the death of the human body can be a reward.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think the questionnaire is very well written and stands on its own. But, a spell checker would be very helpful.