The first NDE happened in 1990. It was four months after my son was born. I was in a head-on collision in Amherst, Massachusetts. I was actually the driver and my sister-in-law was in the car with her three children in the back. My son was only four months old and he was sitting in the front seat, in the car seat.
My sister-in-law went up into the windshield, and from what I remember and was told, and what I do know because her skull is deformed to this day, it’s so very hard to talk about, because it traumatizes me to this day, her skull was cracked. I had my seat belt on. The guy hit us so hard that he cracked his steering wheel in half. My front end was totaled. There was no way that any of us should have survived, if you look at the picture (of the damage to the vehicles).
My sister-in –law, what I believed happened, how I died: the rearview mirror was pulled out when we were spinning in a circle from him hitting us. I believe she hit me over the head (with the rearview mirror), because I never went through the windshield, but she smashed me so hard that I died.
The reason why I know I died is that I was in the ambulance, I was laying in the ambulance and I remember the EMTs were around me and I was just out of it. I was just numb. And the next thing I knew, I was floating above my body. My body was laying in the stretcher and my spirit, what I would call my spirit, rose above – there was no body with me. And I saw my body laying in the stretcher. And I remember them trying to get me to come back.
And I kept saying, “I’m okay, I’m okay.” But they couldn’t hear me. And when I saw my body down there, I knew I was dead. Next thing I know, I’m in this green tunnel. It was so peaceful. I never got to the bright light, as other people have talked about: this white light, I’ve heard of that. And my Mom will be telling her story (Elizabeth T., who also had an NDE from surgery for an aneurism). What I do recall is, as I was floating through this tunnel, I heard my son, who was only four months old and couldn’t even talk, (the reason why I know it was my son is that when he started talking, and it was a baby’s voice, that’s what he sounded like after he started talking). At four months old, he shouldn’t have been talking, but I heard, “Mommy, come back! Mommy, come back!”
And when I came back, I came back into my body and they had a neck brace - they thought I had broken my neck. I remember when I came to; I was in such excruciating pain, however when I was in the tunnel, there was no pain. Like I said, I had no body but there was no pain at all. It was just so peaceful. But when I came back into my body, I felt every pain. I had to go for therapy, I had PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) for six months, and I had memory loss pretty bad. Thereafter, about a month or two after, there was an accident up my road (and by the way, I couldn’t get in a car after that for a long time, I couldn’t drive myself, I had to take leave from work.
I couldn’t drive because I kept hearing the thud, the thud (of the collision). It was like, I remember about one or two months later, I heard a “Boom”, the thud, and it was at the top of my road and it was on a main route and I went toward it and I remember, even though I was walking to get across the street to help these people, because I wanted to help them, my legs were moving but it was like, my mind wasn’t going. I don’t know how to explain it. I wanted to help these people but I couldn’t move. I was frozen. And that was that, I had to go for therapy. The ambulance came and they helped them.
The tunnel was beautiful, peaceful.
The second experience was about four or five years later. It was in 1997. I have sleep apnea very badly. In that period, I had another son. In the middle, I had lost a son (my mother will explain something about this in her near-death experience).
I had a miscarriage. I was not too far along, and my mother will explain because she crossed over and saw him. That’s how I know she crossed over, because my ex-husband and I had named him Adam, but she didn’t know that when she had seen him (in her own NDE).
I didn’t know if this is a dream. I was half asleep; I tend to think, after hearing my mother’s story that I could have had another near-death experience and this one being with the bright light. I was laying in bed and I thought that my children were coming in and were shining a bright light in my eyes. My heart was racing, I recall, and I remember thinking it was the end of the world.
I was having a nightmare and was tossing and turning and then God spoke to me and said, “My child, it’s not the end of the world; go back and rest.” But before he had said that, this bright light, white silhouette of either Jesus or an angel, it was so peaceful, right on the edge of my bed and it was pulling me toward it, I felt like I was being pulled toward it, like I was coming out of my body and being pulled toward this light.
And my heart was racing, racing, racing and I laid back into my bed and it’s as if somebody embraced me and this peace came over me and I went back to sleep and the voice in my head said, “It’s okay; it’s not the end of the world; rest my child.” And I went back to sleep and it was so peaceful. That night was the most beautiful night – I can’t even explain it. It was just so peaceful. And that’s my two stories.
Date NDE Occurred: 10/1990
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Direct head injury. Neck and knee injury and was knocked out in the head. Life threatening event, but not clinical death
I was in a head-on collision. They thought my neck was broken. As far as my heart, no, but I was injured pretty badly.
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Yeah, while they were trying to take care of me on the stretcher. They were working on my chest – a lot of that’s a blur; I don’t know what they were doing there. I think they were trying to get me to come back to life – I don’t know. I never asked – it was very traumatizing. I know I died now, because at the beginning I couldn’t remember anything. I had PTSD but I went to therapy and it all came back. As if I had eyes, but there was no body. It was my spirit looking down at my body. 13. I heard my son’s voice – he was only four months old; he shouldn’t have been talking. Someone said that must have been a guardian angel pulling you back. That’s what I was told - whether that’s true or not. He kept saying, “Mommy come back, Mommy come back.” He was only four months old; he couldn’t talk. And he never died. So what that voice was, it was like another spirit, maybe it was his spirit, pulling my spirit back to earth. And I came back. And I came back to my body – I only heard a voice. It was my son’s voice. And the reason that I know is because when he did finally talk, it was the same voice. That’s how I explain it. You know how when they first talk, “Mommy, Mommy”? It was his voice that I connected to when I had my out of body experience when he learned how to talk.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was very alert. I felt like I was just in another world. Hard to explain. You’re just in awe. It’s just heavenly – your mind is at peace, your heart, everything.
That’s how I felt. I was very alert. I went from my body to being in that tunnel. In between that, it’s a blur. I don’t know how I got in between. In the middle there was no consciousness. There were no thoughts. I don’t remember how I got from my body into that tunnel.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time slowed down when I was in that tunnel. When I came back, it was back to reality. In the peaceful, heavenly realm there, it was just slower.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The vision that I have here on earth is nothing compared to the sharp vision the green the color in that tunnel, I can’t explain, we don’t even have a color like that. It was beautiful, just beautiful.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was talking but nobody could hear me, except myself; they couldn’t hear when I was above my body, but I could hear myself. I was yelling at the doctor, “I’m okay”, and I realized, “Oh my God, I’m dead, I’m laying on the bed there, on the stretcher.” It was awful, seeing that. They couldn’t hear me.
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel was unearthl. When I was in that tunnel, yes. It was beautiful.
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Just the green light for this experience - and it was a brilliant green light.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? It was peaceful; it was beautiful. It was a heavenly experience. There’s nothing on earth that you’ve felt that was as peaceful as that.16. Heavenly emotions, it was peaceful, it’s just indescribable. It’s beautiful, it’s beautiful.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic My religion before, I was a lukewarm Catholic. It was important, but it wasn’t the main focus at that time. I mean, I went to church, you know, and I was a good Catholic, but I’m a lot better now!
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic When I came back, I started focusing on angels, I’m a believer in the power of prayer, I go to church more often, I’m very fascinated with angels. My son’s guardian angel, that spirit, I believe in that. I’ve seen white doves – I’m connected with doves now – it’s just weird. I have a picture of a white dove; I see doves in the summer, by the beach. And I’m more into flowers, nature, I’m so drawn, I’m actually starting my own side business with flowers now. I’m just so drawn to nature more, that’s another thing that happened to me, I’m more connected to nature and animals – I just love animals and trees and flowers – It’s just like I’m connected to that side.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I became more religious, I’ve always been religious but I became more religious.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes During my experience, I felt like we’re connected to this universe, to God.
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes It just glorified it even more. I always realized there’s a God, it’s just, there’s no pain on the other side. That’s what I gained knowledge of. There’s pain when you come back to your body, but when you’re out of body like that, there is no pain. It’s just peaceful there. You have no pain. That’s what I gained knowledge of.
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I gained information - all I gained was that it’s a better world because there’s so much sadness in this world. Over there, it’s all love, love. I gained the knowledge there is no sadness on the other side, in heaven. There’s no sadness, there’s just love. That’s the knowledge I gained – it’s all love, that’s all there is.
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I always knew to be good and to take care of others, do unto others as you would do unto yourself – you give a lot. I’m not bragging, but I’ve always been a kind person. It’s about giving, it’s about loving; I’ve always had that.
After the NDE:
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can sense things, bad people, I can sense, it’s a lot stronger now. I can sense my spirit, this connection with the Holy Spirit, I sense good in people, I sense bad much stronger than I’ve ever sensed. It’s mostly spirit, I feel the spirit of God so strongly now. Of course, I’m more religious. Well, it’s strange because, I gained, like when I first was married (I’m divorced), I was married in 1985, I didn’t feel…I ended up divorced and then I met my soul mate in 1999. What I gained was connection, when I look through his eyes, I can feel his soul and he feels the same too. I feel like I’ve met him in a past life. I gained that; I can feel my spirit with him. I can feel it; I can sense things better now with people. I can sense good in people. I’m more in tuned to the spiritual world now than I ever was. It’s beautiful that I can see that and experience that and this connection with angels. And by the way, I didn’t even talk about the bright light in my room; that light was so peaceful. Beautiful. But I put that in the beginning.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? At the beginning, I didn’t even know what I had experienced – I kept thinking it was a dream. But no, it’s not difficult to talk about now because I did read, thereafter, a few stories here and there, not prior much, I don’t even recall, but after, I read a few and like, “Oh, my God, that was me!”
It was like, wow, I went through that. And then hearing my Mom’s stories (her mother also had a near-death experience during surgery) about the bright light, and then that recollected the story about when I was in my bed and I thought I was having the nightmares, there was a silhouette that was either the angels or Jesus.
And I do know now, I must have died from my sleep apnea. I saw that bright light, it was pulling me in and then it put me down on my bed and told me to rest. My spirit was coming out of my body. And then I went back and whoever that was, an angel or God or whatever, was like, “It’s not the end of the world, my child, go back to sleep.”
I know now, after hearing my Mom’s stories, that could have been a near-death experience as well as that one with the car accident. The car accident, I know for sure. This one, there was something in my room, angel, God or whatever, the shape, it was beautiful. It was like the sun, that’s how bright it was. It was white with gold, orange, just white – it was beautiful. Piercing to your eyes. It pulls you in, like a magnet, sucking you right in. That’s what it felt like, and it’s peaceful.
Whether that was an angel at the side of my bed, or Jesus, or I died, I don’t know, but there was something in my room that night, that I know for sure. That was not a dream. You don’t have a dream like that, with your eyes open, you know.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes A little bit, not muchI heard stories here and there.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I see doves, white doves; I see the brown doves more too. But on occasion, I see a white dove, and it’s usually when I’m going through a problem and I’ve got to pray about someone. I know that sounds weird, but that’s when it happens. If someone’s really sick and I’ve got to pray, I see the presence of a dove. It’s as if God’s telling me, the Holy Spirit’s telling me, “God’s always with you, we’re with you.” I symbolize the dove with the spirit of God and to me, that’s the connection; it’s going to be okay. Pray, pray, you know What’s so happy about this is that God loves me so much that he’s going to take me to heaven some day; I know that and I feel his love much stronger and I’ve been at battles too, I’ve had spiritual warfares in my head and God has always been there.
I believe in the power of prayer and watched my father now; I’ve prayed for my mom; my mom was healed. I’ve received miracles for the people I’ve prayed for. My father was going blind and he stopped going blind after I prayed. My mom survived those three operations for aneurisms. I feel like God is using me as an instrument for God, like to keep people praying and believe and to keep the faith. I feel like he’s using me, which I don’t mind, to give people hope, to say never give up and keep your faith and say God will heal you and give you miracles. I believe I’m one of God’s earthly angels now. That’s what I feel like he’s done for me.
And I love God so much, I mean, he saved me, he saved my mom, he saved my father from going blind. I’ve seen miracle after miracle for the people that I’ve prayed for. I lost my job for eight months and I was able to get it back. That’s great, that’s what’s happened to me. I’m very, very, very spiritually close to God now. I can feel him more than I’ve ever felt him in my life, after. Things have changed a lot for me. God’s always there for everybody. I’ve seen the power of prayer, how it works. Miracles happen every day and people just don’t see it.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain