My experience occurred in 1985 during an operation at the Thomas Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia. They were doing a scheduled operation on me for injuries sustained from a criminal attack.
During the operation from what I found out a year later when my primary physician received the records of the operation and told me I was lucky, he told me I was dead and lucky to be here as they were ready to call me when for no reason my heart started to beat again.
During the operation, for some reason, I did not know there was a problem, as I was under anesthesia, all I know I was above my body watching him working on me doing CPR and trying all kinds of things. I remember watching them and thinking, 'What are they doing?' I hovered in the corner of the operating room watching what was going on.
Then, I left the operating room and was floating off towards a light. It was the most peaceful light, there was no fear, no pain, just happiness and peace. I was happy to be there. I saw people closer towards the light, which I believe, were my grandmother and great-grandmother; I was heading towards them and happy to be there. Then for no reason I was transported back.
When I woke up, I was so upset, so pissed that I was back. I wanted to be with the light. I remember saying, 'Why did you let me come back from the light where there was this peace, happiness, no pain, complete bliss? I did not want to be here with all the pain.' I wanted the light where I was happy.
Date NDE Occurred: August 1985
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
During an operation, my heart stopped and they were going to call me dead, then after twenty minutes, for no reason, my heart just started up again.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was floating off to the right above myself watching them doing CPR on me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was a bright light, I did not concentrate on the tunnel, and I just wanted the light.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Bright, warm, calling to me.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Just the beautiful light and peace
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happiness, Peace, sheer happiness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Roman Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate Non practicing Roman Catholic
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was always afraid to tell anyone about the experience, I did not know what I had experienced until I read something on it at a later date.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, the point at which I came back. I was so upset I was back, I could not believe it that I was back into this world with all the pain. I wanted to be with the light. I woke up screaming with the pain and disappointment.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was fifteen years after the experience, I did not want to talk about it because I thought people would think I was crazy. I did share it with a young friend whose father was dying to let him know it was all right and it was great and his father would feel happy and be at peace with no pain.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real As a real experience which I did not understand, but I stayed upset that I was back and not in that peaceful place.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was real, because now I do not fear death, I know what to expect.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Just that it was the most wonderful thing I had ever experienced and wish I could do it again. There was peace, happiness, and contentment, there was no fear, there was just the most happiest, safe feeling that I ever could have wanted.