I can remember the emergency medical technicians saying I was dead, and discussing the use of charcoal. I was leaving for another place. I do not remember the transition/journey. But I was fully cognizant of the place I was in. I had no sensations, heat, cold, sound, light, touch, not even pain. I felt my eyes were functioning normally. I had no trouble breathing. I felt I was in a place of great sorrow. All was black, as I felt my eyes were working the darkness seemed to go on forever into the distance in all directions. I turned in different directions searching the darkness, listening, but there was nothing. It seemed forever but then light, the lights and the ceiling of the emergency room came into focus. They had revived me.
Date NDE Occurred: 12/2003
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal In the void.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the void.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Space and time did not exist.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I felt my vision was normal but there was nothing to see.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Now that I think of it, I have tinnitus, ringing, but there was no sound in the darkness.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Sorrow and fear.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have always practiced a blend of Zen and Christianity, but I see the truth of both more clearly and it turns out to be the same.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have always practiced a blend of Zen and Christianity, but I see the truth of both more clearly and it turns out to be the same.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I see things and people differently, life and reality are different, and everything is different. The façade has been stripped away. I now tell all my children, relatives and friends I love them on a daily basis, and mean it. They do not have to respond in a like manner, and I did not care if they think me to be crazy.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The isolation of the void is beyond description.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Coming back to this world I believe I have been granted a second chance. I see this world clearly now, and the reason we are here.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Years. They did not want to hear it, seemed to make them uncomfortable.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Elizabeth Kubler Ross? Discussion in psychology class in college.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was sent to a real place because of my actions, it exists, it is beyond time and space and this world, but I know it exists.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The same as in the question above, it has not changed. I was in a real place.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I was diagnosed as manic/depressive before my rebirth, since then I have stopped all therapy and medication, and am symptom free, to the point I do not believe I ever was in the first place.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None.