While doing my job I became increasingly slow. It seemed I was in a kind of sphere and the sound reached me like an echo.
While time passed, I got a terrible headache and a very fast heartbeat. At the point where I felt so sick I had to throw up, I went home and straight to bed. It became increasingly difficult to stay focused, I also started to sweat more and every now and then, I had cold shivers.
When my wife came home and found me, she was very frightened and immediately called the aid post in the neighborhood. The doctor on duty arrived and told my wife right away it was a suspected blood poisoning and that things looked black. In this situation, I wouldn't have survived the night.
I don't remember how and when I arrived at the hospital; I was consumed by the thumping in my head and by the heat. I was brought to a room where I was all alone. Whilst lying on my bed I got the feeling that there would be no happy ending. A strange feeling, which I think people recognize when death is upon them.
Suddenly I felt a serene tranquility. I can't move my body, the headache is gone and it is good, everything is peaceful and calm. I have a feeling of intense HAPPINESS. Nothing can compare to this feeling, no relaxation through music, nothing at all. Everything inside me has been switched off, how wonderful not to feel pain or sorrow.
Suddenly I feel I'm back on my bed and I'm immediately conscious of everything around me. I don't feel so tense anymore; I feel a kind of deliverance. The thought of my wife and son prevails and it seems I haven't lived my life the way I should have. That was true and it was made very clear to me. Did I get a second chance? YES.
The negative part of this experience is the fact that I stood in front of the well-known tunnel but I didn't enter it.
Every night I wake up with a start, I have the feeling of being inside a black tunnel, and I can't get out. I want the serene tranquility back but I'm stuck in that big black hole. It seems I'm living my life in two different ways. Living with the black hole and living with the experience of the white light.
The hardest part is to find people who have had the same experience and people who want to listen and believe that all of this can really happen to someone.
Date NDE Occurred: 2004
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes 'wegens een bacteriele infectie op de wond, kreeg ik de diagnose : sepsis. de dienstdoende arts van de hulppost heeft aan mijn vrouw gemeld, dat indien zij op deze bewuste avond niet had gebeld, ik in de nacht zou zijn overleden.' Other 'sepsis, bloedvergiftiging.
40 graden koorts, na oprekking urinebuis.'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal At the moment I felt the serene tranquility.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the moment I felt the serene tranquility.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no sense of time or space at that moment.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I stayed in front of the tunnel with the very small bright spot at the end.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain There was a bright spot but it was very far away.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm het niveau was er een van pijnloos te zijn.
het was vooral niet aards.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? The only emotion was tranquility.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control It was obvious I wasn't living my life the way I was supposed to. A lot has changed after the NDE. I am more religious and I have a strong urge to spend time at home with my family, which I absolutely did not have before the NDE. I now appreciate the small things in life and I don't take anything for granted.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I could feel things about people that I absolutely couldn't know.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am more religious.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am more religious.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The purpose was to give me a clear image of my life and to tell me that we are insignificant towards the will of God. I have no knowledge of another purpose but I have experienced I can tell people things about themselves through soot-reading. I have done this for a while now, even for people from Canada and the Dutch Antilles without ever meeting them personally.
This part brings me much unrest. I have kept the drawings and reactions and for me it is just an affirmation that there really is more between heaven and earth than we know.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have a stronger bond with my family. The contact with other people is more difficult because I do not react and think like I used to.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Soot-reading. You do this by means of a candle and a piece of paper. By moving the paper up and down above the flame, a drawing is created. From this I learn personal things about people I do not know personally.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Death is not the end. You get insight if you throw away your life and if you are hurting people. I see it as a second chance, but the puzzle is not finished yet, there are still some pieces missing to make everything clear.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I contacted an organization where they research NDE experiences. But they made it clear to me from the start that they were only interested in stories about the white light.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain Without a life threatening situation I had a NDE when I was seven years old and that had made me very frightened of death. After my last experience, I am not at all afraid anymore and death means nothing to me. The obscurity and isolation cause more problems for me than the experience itself.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was different towards my family afterwards. I have no fear of death anymore. Now I look at what I have and not at what I don't have!!!!
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have changed completely.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes There is so much going on; I hope things will find a place in my life, but without acknowledgement of all this it is going to be difficult.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I personally think that my experience was a message. Only the difference between the black hole and the bright spot is so big and yet still not clear to me.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? The question of the not understood part of the NDE has harmed me and the people around me. I hope other people find support and help to help them understand things. It is also important to say that there is no value, really, to a title or education, the most important thing is that people will want to listen and understand. Death comes to everyone, whether you are poor or rich!!!!