Experience Description

I have been out of body 400-600 times by conservative estimation. Only part of that number are OBEs in this dimensional plane of existence. Many are what would be considered an NDE because of the location of where I travelled to but without me physically coming near death. This however is the story of what happened the first time I ever left my body, consciously aware and is the only time I actually came very close to dying.

I went to the hospital to deliver my baby who was two weeks overdue. My Mom came with me and the doctor broke my water to induce the labor. I immediately threw up all over the floor and within an hour of going into labor my child was born.

About 2/3 of the way through the delivery, I stopped breathing. The delivery was happening so fast that they couldn't give me any drugs for the pain. The pain became so intense that I literally came out of my body. The moment I ejected from my body, it stopped breathing. My body was lying there dying but I was no longer in it.

The moment I ejected from my body, it was too bizarre to even put in to words. The best way to sort of explain it, is imagine suddenly finding yourself floating in the air in a room and looking down, seeing your body laying lifeless. That's what I experienced. My first realization was that I was floating and not standing on my feet. I felt completely weightless, with no gravity to hold me down. The second thing I noticed is that I felt completely at peace, which was never the case before at that point in my life. I never had any real peace before that. But I felt completely at peace in that moment and wasn't scared at all.

The third thing I noticed is that being out of my body felt normal and not strange at all. It was as if some part of me unconsciously remembered life without a physical body. It was like being out of my body was my natural state and being in my body was unnatural. That's very much how it felt to me.

I looked down at my body and saw the nurse running panicked, out of the room to get equipment. I saw the doctor look up from between my legs and he was screaming at me to breath. I saw my mother sobbing uncontrollably while holding my hand. She was quietly saying, 'Breath Merri, breath.' She was pleading with me to breath. Then I looked up and around the room. It was very dark. I saw no Light except where my body was; otherwise I was completely surrounded in Darkness.

I was baptized when I was twelve and accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior but I was never a Christian, so I had no expectations of what I would encounter out of body. I had some awareness that God was watching me throughout my life and I began speaking in tongues spontaneously after my water baptism but that was it. That was my limit of what I knew of anything spiritual or supernatural.

I looked up at the ceiling and became curious to know if I could fly through the ceiling and leave. I don't know why I wanted to do that. I was just very curious and I was already out of body. So 'impossible' wasn't a word in my vocabulary at that moment. But the moment I decided to fly out of the room, someone entered the room with me. I could not see who it was, but in retrospect, I think it was an angel or Jesus. At the time though, I had no idea who it was. I just felt his presence enter the room and slowly come towards me. Using telepathy the Being started speaking to me.

'You have to go back inside your body. It's not your time to go yet,' he said to me.

Disappointed, I responded, 'I want to fly up there and see what's on the other side of the ceiling.'

'No, you have to go back. It's not your time'

I got indignant and stubborn about the whole thing. I told Him, 'Well, now that I'm out of my body, I want to stay out of my body. I don't want to go back. People are mean and unloving and all they do is hurt each other. You can't make me go back!'

So now I'm arguing with God about whether I'm allowed to die or not. Which is kind of funny if you think about it. Because I hated my life on earth so much that I was willing to fight about them sending me back.

He said, 'No, we can't force you to go back. But if you don't, your daughter will be raised without any parents. Do you want that for your child?'

I never knew the sex of my child when I was pregnant. I am also a child abuse survivor.

I remember bowing my head and sighing when He said that to me. And, I replied, 'No, I don't want that for ANY child, especially not my own.'

He continued, 'So you see you have to return and raise your child. And if you do, I promise you no one will ever hurt you like they did before. If you agree to go back, I promise you that you will have a good life and you won't regret making that choice to return.'

So, I agreed to go back but not because of the promises made to me. People broke too many promises they made to me so I didn't trust this promise. I agreed to go back because of the selfless love that I had for my unborn child. I did not want her to suffer in life as an orphan or go without a mother's love.

He said, 'Good. Now hurry and get back inside your body because you are running out of time.'

I looked at my body lying there lifeless. It was not breathing and a few minutes had passed with no breath. But I told Him 'OK! I will, but I don't know how to get back in my body.'

He said, 'Just focus on your body. Look at it and stay focused on it. Then visualize in your mind that your are going back inside your body. Visualize you doing it. It will work. Now hurry! There is no time!'

I did what He said, but nothing happened. I started to panic and I yelled at him, 'It's not working!'

He replied, 'Keep doing it! It will work !'

So I focused even harder and kept visualizing myself returning to my body. Then I felt a slight tug at my belly, pulling me just a few inches toward my body. I kept focusing and visualizing and the tug got stronger, dragging me a few feet back towards my body. All of the sudden, I went speeding, faster than light and slammed HARD into my body. Then I was back inside, trapped inside my body. But I couldn't take a breath.

I said, 'I forgot how to breath.'

He was still there in the room with me. He said, 'Just focus and visualize taking a breath, the same as before. Visualize it in your mind.'

Then after a few moment, I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I was awake.

And the voice speaking to me was gone.

I gave birth to my baby. I was in the hospital for three days in recovery. I had no memory of the childbirth, leaving my body, or talking to a divine Being. I went home and carried on with my life.

A few weeks or a month after I came home, I was sitting on the sofa folding laundry and I started having flashbacks of giving birth. I started having weird memories of being out of body and talking to someone. I had such a confused look on my face and I stared at the wall telling myself that these memories made no sense. I just stared at the wall completely gobsmacked. Then I reached over and picked up the phone and called my Mom. I asked her, 'Hey, Mom? Did something bad happen to me during childbirth? I'm having memories that I stopped breathing.'

Mom said, 'Yeah, we almost lost you Merri. You stopped breathing for several minutes and I was very upset crying but I was so relieved when you started breathing again.'

'Ok thank you. I didn't remember that until just now.'

I hung up the phone and my eyes went really big because if my memory of almost dying was true, then the rest of my memories of childbirth are also true - being out of body, the argument on the ceiling, all of it.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 10/8/91

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth. Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I stopped breathing

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my body and the people in the room with my body. I could see what they were doing and hear them. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. My mind and consciousness that exists independent and outside of my physical body is far more advanced in consciousness and intelligence than I experience through the limitations of my physical brain.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout the entire experience, I had elevated consciousness beyond what I experience awake.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't notice a contrast

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Well, I spoke with telepathy out of body. Otherwise, I didn't notice any other significant difference

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an Unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace and sadness. Defiance and excitement

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No I didn't remember past events. I just remembered how I felt about certain people or situations. I was in touch with my feelings but not what specifically caused the feelings.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. I came back to raise my daughter but it was a sacrificial act because I really didn't want to go back. I was choosing sacrificial love and offered a reward for choosing it.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian. I was baptized when I was twelve after a supernatural encounter with the Holy Spirit. I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior but I knew nothing of Christianity, no scripture, no teachings, not doctrines and I did not attend church and I did not become a Christian at that time. I rejected organized religion.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes And first it didn't change drastically, but in a way it did because I became single mindedly focused on nophysical reality and God more so than before. Over the years, I've changed drastically and dramatically, eventually maturing in my relationship with Christ that put me on a path of intentional holiness. I later became a very devout and Holy saint.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian. I'm a very devout follower of Christ, but I do not belong to any denomination.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I had no clue there was a spirit world or a spiritual dimension at the time. And I had no clue what a concept like that would be like or entail in practical terms.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I became aware of nonphysical and invisible reality beyond the illusion of physical matter

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I'm pretty sure it was Jesus or my guardian angel. It was definitely a divine benevolent Being who was gentle and helpful.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain The Being I spoke to did not give me their name but he knew an awful lot about me

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I just felt it. I felt like an old soul.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain. I already knew God existed before my NDE

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I think the experience itself was teaching me what real love is and teaching me selflessness

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists. Yes I learned from the encounter that we have assigned times when we are allowed to physically die and that we have a purpose for being here that it decided by God. I also felt very strongly that I existed as a soul before I was physically born. Although I can't explain how I know that other than to say I felt it was true.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I learned what true love's motivations are

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life. It turned out that the first NDE was just the beginning of a completely life-changing adventure. When I returned to my body, I started having night terrors and was terrorized by demons and chased through Hell in dreams. I defeated the demons and the nightmares stopped. But there was a lot of insomnia at first. I would wake up in sleep paralysis. From there, I started being contacted inside my dreams when I was unconscious having my name called to force me to become conscious inside my dreams. Beings soon made contact with me and we agreed that I would receive spiritual training which took place for months. After that a door was opened for me to enter the Afterlife (not in a dream). I was greeted by a welcoming committee into the Kingdom of God. I'm shorting a long, dramatic, and fantastical story. But basically I ended up meeting God, Jesus and the Holy Angels. I went to heaven many different times. I received Fire Baptism and spent twenty years in spiritual ecstasies that never stopped. During my fire baptism I experienced full ego death and became one with the universe. When I crossed the rainbow bridge I rejoined with my higher consciousness so I had extremely elevated consciousness. It was extremely elevated, like Christ consciousness. But, this only happens when I'm out of my body and I gave been out of my body 400-600 times without exaggeration. Many of those OBE were not here on earth. They started here and I travelled through starfields in outer space into another dimension of space separate from the physical dimension of earth. I am not the same person as I was before my first NDE. I'm an entirely different person.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I came to realize life is short and you should take every possible opportunity to be love and show love to everyone you can while you are here and don't take any of it for granted.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes All paranormal things like extrasensory perception, clairvoyant, clairaudio, clairsentient, pyrokinesis, bilocation, energy manipulation, remote viewing, etc. etc. Currently, I am expressing my spiritual gifts as a biblical type of prophetess, a prophetic seer.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Knowing God cared enough about me to help me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was five years afterwards because I was worried my child would be taken away from me if I started telling crazy stories. People were receptive to it when I did open up about it. No one called me crazy. I don't think I affect others very profoundly when I tell them these things because I don't think they really understand on a deep level what I'm saying or what it actually means. I feel that unless you experience it yourself it's hard to understand. I think indirectly I plant seeds of truth and awareness in others but who knows how influencial it is ultimately.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. They are my memories so if they aren't real then what is?

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I've experienced so much more since that first NDE that I have no doubts. Not even one doubt.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes 400-600 times