I remember being ill that morning, after mom found I had a fever, she called Dr. Harris, who made a house call. I then remember being rushed to the hospital, having labs drawn (the nurse gave me a fifty cent piece) and being prepped for emergency surgery. I remember some pain, but not as much as I should have been in. Waiting in the pre-operation room, watching doctors and nurses go by, smelling the strange smells I had never encountered; I was getting kind of scared. Someone then took me into the operating room, I remember trying to fight the mask on my face, and then the smell came. The smell was foreign to me, not pleasant at all. It was ether.
The next thing I remember was being up by the ceiling, wondering why I could fly. I saw the mint green tiles with the black tile border around the top of the ceiling; I looked up, and saw a clock. I'm certain this was a span of only seconds. Then I looked down and was observing my own surgery. I was small, so I had no clue what was going on. I was a shy child so I thought to myself, 'I will just stay here and be quiet.' At that moment, the surgeon and staff seemed to be in a panic, but I was distracted by the sounds of a playground to my right. I turned toward the sounds of other children calling me, telling me they wanted me to come and play. I looked down a dark area where the other children were calling from, remembering I wanted to go play, it felt safe.
I looked down again at my body lying there on the table, opened up, blood around me. I heard, 'We are losing her!' I still did not understand what was happening. I do remember seeing them working on me, the monitor was not beeping anymore, and it was upsetting all the nurses.
The kids kept calling, so I started to move towards their voices, and the sounds of a playground. As they were saying, 'Come on Missy, let's go, we want you to come and play with us,' the sounds of a playground swing and kids laughing in the distance. As I drifted toward them, I remember feeling reluctant. Not because I did not feel safe, but because I didn't tell anyone where I was going. I said, 'I can't come and play, I didn't tell my mom!'
Right at that moment, I felt like I was pulled backwards at a medium pace, then the next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room, my mom was crying, I said I'm okay. I told her about my 'dream' or what I thought was a dream, and I suppose her protective mode was on, because she did not tell me I died on the operating room table until I was around ten. I remember telling her the same story over and over through the years. One day when she decided I could understand, she told me what happened that day. I still don't think even at ten, I understood.
After that experience at age four, I would get ' feelings' in my stomach, a feeling of crisis or doom was impending. When I was nine, my aunt died, and my mom, uncle and his son and daughter was supposed to go to Vineland, New Jersey to see about a plot for Aunt Liz. I said to my mom before we left, 'Please let's not go.' She asked why, and I said, 'I feel like something is going to happen.' She said, 'Honey, you're upset about Aunt Liz, I understand; but we have to go.' Three hours later, we were in a head on collision. We were all okay, for the most part, but that was the beginning of many, many 'feelings'. I am sensitive to spirits, I feel like I am punched in the stomach when it happens, or I am so overwhelmed with emotions I cry. There have been many times, I see other spirits, or feel like they are trying to tell me something, but even at my age, I cannot control it. I wish I could, maybe I could help them. I hardly ever tell anyone this, for fear that they would think I am crazy. But I know better, too many things I have sensed have been true, and things I have dreamed have been real messages.
Date NDE Occurred: Feb 1971
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I was four, on the operating table having surgery for a perforated appendix.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Immediately when I realized I was up at the ceiling looking down, until I was back in my body, the level of consciousness was the same.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I know now as a nurse, the whole scene in the operating room was most likely about five minutes in duration. It felt like I was hovering there longer than that.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was a blackness, or darkness, but I knew it was okay somehow, because the kids calling me to play were right through there.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was not scared, because I did not have a clue what was going on. The only other emotion was when I was apprehensive going toward the sounds of the other children, I knew I didn't tell my mom I was going, I didn't want her to be upset.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Feelings of impending events that would be bad if I went, or sometimes dreams with 'messages' from dead relatives of other people, sensitivity to spirits.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? When I realized I was moving toward the kids' voices, and stopped, saying I could not go because my mom doesn't know and I had to go back.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my mom right away, when I was still in the hospital, but I was small, she did not confirm it for six years.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I just knew what the experience was, even as a child, as many times as I told my mom the story, it never ever changed, and I remember it in detail to this day.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It happened, and for some reason, because of that I am very sensitive to a lot of things. It is real to me. I do not really like having dead people looking at me as if I'm supposed to do something for them. I need to understand how to control this, and help if I can, but geez, it gets weird.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No