I was speeding through a black tunnel, but I was traveling through the tunnel horizontally and not vertically like I always thought (going up to heaven, that sort of thing). The tunnel was also in sections. Not anything that I could see, but felt. It was like there was a thin layer of something, and every time I 'broke' through this, I could feel it. The vibrations in my body increased and it felt like I was turbo-charged and went faster and faster through every section.
Then I heard this sound, it was far off but at the same time, it was inside my head. It sounded like insects buzzing, and it was very annoying and irritating. Then everything stopped. The tunnel, the vibrations, the noise.
I found myself standing (I still had a body, but it was more of an awareness, not substance) in my own piece of blackness. It was nothing and yet everything to me. There was no noise, worries or fear. I was amazed and fascinated by how black the darkness was, yet it felt like a big security blanket. I was comfortable in my space and made up my mind to spend eternity there.
That's when I heard this voice. It came from behind me and just over my head. It was gentle, rich, and familiar, yet to this day, I don't know who he was. When he 'spoke' he communicated not just (telepathic) words but also emotions and knowledge. His words, really, meant nothing, but they were powerful.
He said, 'Do you see the light?' and without even thinking I instinctively looked up. There before me was a white pure light. It was small, about the size of a dime, yet I could not judge how far away it was. It could have been miles or I could have reached out and touched it (if one could touch light). At this time I was no longer aware of having a body, I just 'was'.
I had time to see the light, to comprehend the situation, but at the same time, the 'instant' I saw the light everything was over. Time and space is simply something that human's experience. I'm still not sure I got banished when I became aware of the light, the light became aware of me, or the light became aware that I was aware of it. I definitely felt that the light had a (or was a) consciousness.
That was the end of that, but a few weeks after I got out of the hospital, I was bound and determined to go back to 'my place'. I bought all the necessary supplies, and that was when I had my first OBE (I don't know what else to call it).
I was laying down but I don't remember falling asleep. I experienced the vibrations and insect sounds again, but not the tunnel. Then I heard that same voice. Not words, but emotions. What it conveyed was that it would be one of the worst decisions I could make for it's not meant to be, it's not part of the plan, it's not supposed to happen. It didn't feel like he was saying don't do it, for the choice was mine. Just caution and sadness felt if I did follow through.
That was twenty-four years ago but it might as well have been ten minutes ago.
Date NDE Occurred: October 1983
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Life threatening event, but not clinical death . Took six bottles of sleeping pills. Physically my heart was racing close to 200 bpm and my temperature dropped dramatically while in the emergency room.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was in the darkness and was aware that the darkness represented what I wanted/needed in life. No worries, fears, sadness. Just comfort, peace and protection.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Just warping through the tunnel. Like I was going through dimensions how people drive past neighborhood blocks.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? All I could see was blackness, except for the light.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Hearing was outside and yet inside my head at the same time (buzzing sounds). The man's voice was rich and soothing.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Traveling horizontally not vertically. Like warping through dimensions and every dimension you felt going through it and you went faster and faster. Maybe five to six times.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain Never saw anyone, just a male voice communicated with me. The voice came from behind me and maybe a foot above my head. The voice sounded very familiar like he was someone close to me at one time, but I just don't know who.
I felt gentle prodding to look for the light ('Do you see the light?') because I was content to stay where I was for eternity.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Very briefly and yet long enough to get an understanding. It was pure white light, yet you could look straight at it. It felt like it had a consciousness, that it was a being. I wonder if I looked the same to it, but smaller and not so bright and pure.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Annoyance at sound in tunnel.
Comfort, amazement and peace in the darkness.
Almost child-like and obedient when the voice spoke.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'Believed something bigger was out there, but not the classical 'I am God, I will smite you God.'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I just know now that there is a spiritual side. Organized religion is great for people who need that, but for me it's spiritual and not religious.
What is your religion now? Liberal Spiritual
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I just know now that there is a spiritual side. Organized religion is great for people who need that, but for me it's spiritual and not religious.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain Purpose in the sense that I belong on this earth and to not alter with that. What purpose I have I do not know.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's hard to express experiences/feelings that are not commonly felt in this dimension or plane.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Just how thoughts are able to convey emotions. Not just one, but several. Compassion, caring, pity, sorrow.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I know it wasn't a dream as I made a deliberate attempt to die. I had no beliefs, expectations or cared what would happen or become of me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It was so real that throughout my life when I felt down I just thought back to this experience. It's been a great motivator to not travel down that road again.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Only happens during the day if I should happen to doze off on the couch or such. I can feel the vibrations start and the sense of traveling, along with the buzzing. For years, I fought it but now I just relax and let myself go. This happened quite frequently after the event, but as time passes, it gets rarer and rarer. I do enjoy them when they do happen.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Nope. Pretty much covered it. Not very exciting I know, but I haven't met anyone else who had a similar experience.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Some of the questions where you had buttons, it would've been nice to have more options as somewhere difficult to answer with just the choices given. Or at least a box with each choice to clarify.