There was a long traffic jam in both directions from a road crossing at lunchtime on a bright summer day. I'd just visited a friend's flat in the Oxo Tower on the south bank of the Thames as a lunchtime break from my job at the Venice Simplon Orient Express warehouse on Union Street in south London. I attempted to cross the road just before the crossing as there was no road sound and parents pushing children across the crossing. I felt quite sure that this was a safe course of action as there was no sound on the street due to the standstill traffic, maybe except for the sound of bird's twirping in the adjacent park.
I poked my head around the corner of a white van and upon turning right to look around it saw a motorbike rapidly approaching, just a few meters away from a collision and coming alongside the van using the center of the road. There was no sound so the rider must have been riding the clutch or slowly braking across a long distance with no gas on. The bike's rider tried to steer away sharply as I entered the middle of the road but he only succeeded in hitting me with his handlebars full on into my right ribcage. This spun me around 180 degrees and then the bike's wheels continued into my right upper leg and buttock. I felt the wheel rotating on my legs and a burning sensation as I was lifted into the air.
Now facing the crossing my perceptual field elevated a little to the buildings disappearing into the horizon far down the street. Then my vision blacked out as my eyes seemed to turn off. This was just a second or two after the impact of the collision and once I had blacked out there was no more physical sensation coming from my body.
A couple of drops of urine passed and I attempted to hold it in. Then remembering that I had heard that in the immediate moments before death, the bowels are released (due to the civilization process man holds fluid in the urinary tract rather than walking around releasing wherever and whenever) I realized that I may be at my end; so I let go and allowed a few more drops out. If I had just been knocked unconscious and not killed upon impact, I didn't know then and still don't know now if this phenomenon would occur.
An image of an artwork that I had created in my early teens for a school project entered my mind and replaced the last visual image that I had seen (of the street) - this was of a perspective exercise that I had drawn, with long, tall buildings diminishing into the distance. In this exercise I had covered each panel of each building with cutouts from magazines and one panel in the center left stood out. There I had replaced the quadrilateral shape of the building with a picture that of a young baby girl's face.
I remember thinking and saying to myself, 'So that's it? I never got to have the beautiful, blonde, baby daughter that I always thought I would???' Then I paused in thought for a moment and after taking in the oddity of the image appearing after last seeing the street said to myself, 'What the f***?'. That was my last recollection after the impact.
All in all, from being hit, rotating by the force, being catapulted, blacking out, trapping the urine, seeing the image, reacting, cogitating and exclaiming - all of these moments must have added up to much longer than I was in midair - maybe ten or fifteen seconds as opposed to the few seconds I was flying down the street. I landed maybe ten or twenty meters down the street, actually on top of the crossing.
Sometime later, I very slightly came back to consciousness. I was lying on the road crossing with my body face up as if I was lying on top of a bed. As my eyes opened, I realized that I was staring skywards, directly into the midday sun. I could see a circle of heads looking down at me, and to look away from the direct sunlight caught a few faces, which were full of tears.
I titled my face to the right and put my right cheek on the cold dark tarmac. I coughed and spluttered a lot and could feel I had massive pain in my right chest. I was temporarily paralyzed and decided it best just to close my eyes slightly and take in what had happened. Lying on the street I could see the crowd of people were standing in a circle all around me, maybe two, three or four people deep in places, but none were closer than two or three meters from me. Maybe fifty or seventy-five people in all. There were the same children's buggies in front of their mum's feet that I had seen before the accident. There was total silence. It was really hard to breathe.
I remember seeing one pair of legs dashing off in the opposite direction, bending down to street level and picking up my brown baseball hat - this was another ten meters down the road. The man came running up to me and said, 'Here's your hat mate - thought you might need it!' I said 'Cheers' or 'Thanks' and used it around my hand to lean on.
Speaking really hurt me so I pulled up my tee-shirt and investigated my ribcage. There was a broad, two inch long, red mark just below my right nipple on the edge of my ribs, so I tried to take some massive breaths and investigate the extent of any damage. I was just about able to take a few deep breaths so I decided that my lungs were okay and lay my face down again.
A long period of time elapsed (maybe five or ten minutes) and then sensation began to return to my legs. I realized that there was a heavy weight on my legs and tilting to my left to look, saw that a 1250cc maroon Kawasaki motorbike was on top of me as well as its' overweight rider. I briefly glimpsed at the rider (who had been overtaking on a crossing and with whom I really resented for breaking the law and hitting me). I couldn't look at him in the eyes but noticed that the bike was spewing out oil or petrol. I told the crowd and they immediately lifted to the bike back to its' normal position and wheeled it to the roadside.
I still couldn't move much so another ten minutes later I asked the people in the crowd to drag me to the side of the road, so that the traffic could move on. Hardly anyone uttered a word during the whole episode - I can't imagine how harrowing it would have been to witness this accident. Another ten or twenty minutes later, I struggled to my feet. I noticed that the rider was a courier, and decided that if I took his details he might lose his job, so instead just remembered that his bike was a 'G' registration (a circa 1990 bike). I struggled to get back the mile to the office, where they bandaged me up. I spent the next two weeks in bed trying to recover regular breathing through the pain and recounting the entire experience.
Date NDE Occurred: Friday 9th August 1996
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes AccidentDirect head injury Life threatening event, but not clinical death
Motorbike hit me on the road and sent me catapulting down the street, maybe ten or twenty meters down the road and lying face up to the sky.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Apart from the cessation of physical senses, I was equally alert throughout the experience.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time certainly seemed to stand still as outlined in answer Three. The immediate aftermath maybe took fifteen seconds of nil physical sensation to play out, in which time I had landed on my back and head, a bike had landed on top of a motorcyclist and me too. There was no sensation of space during the experience - just a void.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. As described above, after the impact my vision darkened before I blacked out, and, my depth perception flew deep into the distance.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I felt that immediately before the experience maybe my hearing had been switched off in some way, but decided that the motorbike must have been coasting towards the pedestrian crossing. After the impact there was no auditory sense at all.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Brief shock, disappointment, resigned, bizarreness, anger.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I remember seeing an image of an artwork that I had created in my early teens for a school project entered my mind. This replaced the last visual image that I had seen (of the street) - this was of a perspective exercise that I had drawn, with long, tall buildings diminishing into the distance. In this exercise, I had covered each panel of each building with cutouts from magazines and one panel in the center left stood out. There I had replaced the quadrilateral shape of the building with a picture that of a young baby girl's face. I remember thinking and saying to myself, 'So that's it? I never got to have the beautiful, blonde, baby daughter that I always thought I would???'
This struck me as quite significant, as it had always been latent in the back of my mind, but was suddenly front-of-mind.
After the experience I have had many 'gifts' come and go, e.g. Acute Seismic Sensitivity, prophetic experiences, etc. - but have seen and found what a medium called my guardian angel who I call 'Little Eva' - she's a spirit or ghost of about eight to ten years in appearance and who is beautiful and with long straight blonde hair. The appearance of a guardian angel in 2002/03 and feeling it on my left shoulder in 2004 has been subdued in terms of shock value by the NDE content.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am much less inclined towards orthodox religions nowadays and have a much greater leaning towards the unknown.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am much less inclined towards orthodox religions nowadays and have a much greater leaning towards the unknown.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes With all the strange gifts (or curses as I sometimes refer to them), my life has been really different since August 1996, and personal relationships have been few and far between.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes As described in answer!
When I was twenty-one, I saw ghosts, apparitions, spirits and apparitions (between 2002 and 2004). I also had the gift of Acute Seismic Sensitivity for many years (2002 through 2006), I have had visions, a 9/11 prophecy (back in 1999), premonitions come true, I've seen my own ghost (as if aged twenty-one as if some part of my spirit left me when the NDE occurred), etc.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? As can be seen from the detail I have gone into, all of the experience has had a massive impact upon my life - it's only now, a full decade afterwards, that I can start to probe in terms of meaningfulness and in relation to the gifts I've had afterwards.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have only started to mention my NDE in passing to several people, as a way of explaining the paranormal gifts and special gifts I have had since 1996.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I had a vague understanding from a medical sense from an education into civilization processes (biologically and sociologically) which I mentioned apropos of urinary tract functions in my detailed description of the event in answer three.
Other than that, my only knowledge's were pertaining to the recollection of your life's events in the moments before death, but, for me it was just one visual thought upon seeing the perspective effect of the street from an elevated angle.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real There was no flashing history of life events, no tunnel, no white light, etc. none of the 'classic' events really - just a tragic accident with some strange ramifications and consequences afterwards really.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I'm just unsure nowadays as to whether this was a near death experience, or just being knocked unconscious in a road traffic accident. I've always felt profoundly affected by the event however, falling as it did before my final year at university, which forced me to work for money throughout my final year.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It would be really weird to meet anyone that was there on that day, who saw the event!