Maria S NDEs

Experience Description:

I only knew that my physical body was dying. Without fear and after going through a phase of denial, I gave myself up to death. After my experience, I resigned myself to either living or dying. Even after a year, I continue to be confused. It is like having been reborn, learning to walk again, and feeling the world around me.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 12/19/2006

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' There were three life-threatening episodes caused from severe hyponatremia and cardiac failure almost to the point of needing a transplant.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal In the coronary unit.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While in the coronary unit.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster than usual I lost the connection between my body and my mind.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More so than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was diminishing clarity in colors and brightness that still continues to this day.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain

Did you see any beings in your experience? Saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my dead father, aunt, and grandparents.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I returned to my body through a tunnel of light. When I returned from surgery, there was darkness.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Neither

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt a vacant feeling of relief when I returned but my body didn't feel anything.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Neither

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? United, one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? Remembered many past events Just my life, infancy, adolescence etc.

Did scenes from the future come to you? From the world's future I felt the presence of loved ones who had died. They were sitting on my bed talking to me, giving me courage, and telling me that everything would be O.K. soon.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Neither

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I learned that life and death are the same, but that I shouldn't leave earth prematurely.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My relationship with my family and friends as well as my view of the world I am now in.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I awoke in the world not knowing anything and having to relearn everything. I have unknown fears, no desire to live, no way to reconnect with the physical world. I feel sadness and indifference. I have no feelings of love for anyone. I feel very alone. I feel like I am someone I never was and am returning to something unknown. There is conflict between my own being and not knowing who I am.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Everything I experienced before and after the surgery.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes With family members, friends, psychologists, and psychiatrists. I was diagnosed with depression from emotional trauma and suicidal.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had cardiovascular surgery when I was 4 years old, paroxysmal tachycardia at 32. I believe they are memories of critical situations in life.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Experience was definitely real and traumatizing. I felt as if I had returned from some kind of hell and didn't not know why I was alive.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It completely changed my life. I feel lost and do not understand the world I am in.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Medications

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Questions about confused states, personality changes, fears, anxieties, rupture with the past, not understanding the present, and fear of the future.