In 2006, while undergoing a cardiac catheterization for an angioplasty, I was on the table and was able to hear the Doctor and nurse talking and every so often the doctor would ask me to cough or take a deep breath. I suddenly found myself in a dark area. I should point out that my descriptions are as best as words can be used to explain my experience, but words fall extremely short of the real experience. I could sense I was in a peaceful loving, serene location. I could not sense any walls, floor or ceiling so I knew that wherever I was, it had to be immense. I was not able to see anyone but I knew thousands surrounded me, if not more, people or souls. The peace, the love and serenity that I felt was like nothing I ever felt, and I wanted to stay there enjoying that wonderful feeling. I remember feeling all the love flowing like a wave but when it got to me, it didn't stop. I felt it flow through me and it was wonderful. I remember that at one point, I felt like someone or something was pulling me back, like a tug. I later found out that it was the first electrical shock with the paddles. When I felt this, I remember thinking to myself, who would ever want to leave this place. I wanted to remain there. Then I felt like I was being sucked back to my body. The pain that I felt was excruciating and I had a feeling that I had lost something. While on the table, the nurse told me that I had coded and that he had to shock me twice. He then asked me if I remembered anything? I was able to tell him what I had experienced and he said that he had heard the same thing from other patients. In September 2009, I had to undergo another cardiac procedure. This time, like the first time, I was on the table and I could hear the doctors talking. Suddenly, I was back at the peacefully and serene place, bathing in the feeling of love. I then saw an older man who I did not know, but I felt as if I knew him for a long time. He told me that I had to go back that it was not my time and that I still had things to do. At that point, I felt myself being sucked back, woke up on the table, and was told that it had happened again. I can honestly say that I never had thought about what it would be like once we die. Now, I am grateful to be here and hopefully complete my mission here, but now I know what awaits me and I will welcome death when God says it is my time.
Date NDE Occurred: September 2006 and again in September 2009
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
While undergoing cardiac catheterization my heart stopped and I needed to be shocked twice on the first episode and once on the second episode.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The realization that I was there because something had happened, and to feel that wonderful feeling. I keep replaying it in my mind and to this day, I can't find words to explain it.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was being pulled back and I realized I was leaving all the beautiful feelings.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. On my first experience, I was not able to see much, it was dark, not a fearful darkness, but a loving one. My senses were heightened and I knew many others surrounded me. I had the feeling of love, but no visual.
On my second experience I was able to see a bright light, beautiful and inviting. As I approached it I saw an older male, but did not see much else.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There were no vocalizations. It was like I knew what he was thinking.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I'm not sure if I was in a tunnel but wherever I was had no boundaries.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Beautifully white serene and inviting light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt peaceful, love, tranquility, serenity.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I have always been a Christian- Catholic, but I seldomly go to church.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I now feel and believe that God is in each of us. The need to congregate in a church is not to be close to God but to find the strength, in moments of weakness. To find the support from other.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I really had no strong believe as to what happened once we die. I know that religion tells us that we will be with God. But I really was not prepared for what I experienced. I was nothing like what I would have ever expected.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Yes I now have the knowledge that there is an afterlife and what we do here will be looked upon there.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I remember that on my second experience I saw the beautiful light and I was headed to it. An older man appeared before me, he was medium height, short beard, all white. He stretched out his arm and in my mind he said, 'Go back, it is not your time, you still have things to do.' And I understood.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes In my experience I was in a place surrounded by many others, I had a sense of belonging. That we were all there for the same reason and that we all were part of someting big.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes My God, love was everywhere. Live was literarily flowing right through me, like waves on the ocean.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I now know the importance of being here and value all my relationships even more.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes My God, words do no justice. To try and explain the LOVE, THE PEACE, TRANQUILITY, THE SENSE OF BELONGING.... No words can explain.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The feeling was so intense and the sadness of returning was so great that the memories of the event are as if it had just happened. I don't remember much of the proceedure but the experience I had, especially since it occurred twice is very vivid.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The sense of love and belonging.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately after I woke up, I told the nurses and they were amazed that my experience was very similar to what other patients had told them.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard about it, but was not sure as to what to believe.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real From the very first moment, I knew that it was very real. I knew what had happened and that I was back with my family and loved ones, but could not shake the sense of loss. I actually felt sad, like I had lost my best friend.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real See Narrative above.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Without wishing anyone any harm, I would like everyone to experience it and know what is on the other side.
What occurred during your experience included: Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I really had no strong beliefs as to what happens once we die. I know that religion tells us that we will be with God, but I really was not prepared for what I experienced. It was nothing like what I would have ever expected
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? You should ask about the pain being experienced when re-entering the body. Also ask about the sense of loss, when returning.
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