Experience Description

A grand-mal seizure causes one to lose complete awareness of not only where you are, but who you are. It short circuits the brain with an overload of electrical impulses, similar to being hit by lightning.

I experienced a massive and severe grand-mal seizure while in my kitchen doing dishes. I fell face forward onto the floor and into a plastic grocery bag that I had left there after unloading it earlier. I lost awareness completely of who and where I was and sunk into unconsciousness. Normally, there would be absolutely no memory of what had transpired during the unconscious phase of a grand-mal seizure. But I actually do have a memory of this event and recall being an energy field, similar to the white garbled screen you would see when changing channels on a TV and finding no reception. A pulsing, constant motion of energy/electricity. And yes, I did say I WAS that energy, not that I only saw it and was drawn to it. I WAS it. I knew everything beyond our comprehension or my ability to communicate in words here. I was connected to all things, both seen and unseen, and had an absolute and intimate knowledge of them because I was them. I also felt an overwhelmingly insatiable desire to experience things with all the senses I had held as a human. I needed to touch, hear, see, taste, learn, and experience emotions.

This is why I no longer believe in a separate omnipotent being called God. We ARE God. Physics teaches us that energy cannot be destroyed; only transformed. This is a proven law. And so it was with my experience. We are simply a beyond vastly intelligent source of energy. That is the simplest and yet most complexly profound answer to our existence that there is.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1991

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Severe Gran-Mal seizure event that stopped both breathing and heart for 10 minutes. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Severe Grand-Mal seizure whereby I fell face forward and was unable to breath for ten-plus minutes. Heart stopped beating. My husband performed CPR (he was a police officer at the time) and I was revived.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? There was never really a 'time' that was higher than the other. Once my pulse had quit and I died, I was there. When brought back, I simply 'woke' up from my unconscious state. A seizure prevents conscious thought.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There really is no such thing as a time/space continuum. Those concepts are again, man-made to account for our reality as a 'pat' answer.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. When there is nothing to physically see, and yet everything is revealed all at once, it is difficult to describe what we experience as 'vision'.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Not sure I recall 'hearing' anything per se. No ears to hear with, just a knowing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I was the light/energy. It was not so much seeing it as simply being it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Overwhelming curiosity and a pulling/drawing sensation to connect, yet I was scattered and unable to do so. And an absolute and intimate 'knowledge' of all things, seen and unseen.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I'm not sure I 'saw' it during my NDE. Once I came to, I knew that my husband was going to lose his job, I knew his Aunt Rose was going to die that week, and since then, I am fairly accurate at seeing certain 'future' events, either in my dreams or simply just a solid knowing of what will happen.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate American Baptist but non-attending.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Again, I no longer believe in a separate omnipotent God character. I believe we are all 'Gods', all connected. There is no 'heaven' or 'hell'. We just are.

What is your religion now? Liberal I am now an atheist.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Again, I no longer believe in a separate omnipotent God character. I believe we are all 'Gods', all connected. There is no 'heaven' or 'hell'. We just are.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I just knew everything intimately as I was everything.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My family cannot accept my disbelief of a Christian reality. They are highly threatened, as are most Christians when presented with something other than their 'pat' answers. Great philosophers and scientists were outcast and often persecuted due to their knowledge. It's best to just keep quiet, but I decided to give it one last effort here and attempt to educate those who are willing to hear.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Because I do not typify my experience with the traditional 'light at the end of the tunnel, life flashing before the eyes' hyperbole.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Refer to answer above.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Just the complete feeling of curiosity and desire to experience the senses as a being. I felt myself to be highly intelligent and connected knowledge wise to everything, yet is was not enough. I wanted to be a physical part of that knowledge.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It's been about a week since I last shared one of my visions of things to come, and as far as the person being influenced by it, well, she's used to my predictions by now, so her reaction was that of belief in what I said.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I viewed my NDE as real due to the time elapse of having no pulse or breath. Ten minutes had gone by before my husband found me and began CPR. I was dead. I should not have any sort of memory of that time frame due to sinking into unconsciousness beforehand; however, I recall my experience vividly.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still recall the memory of my experience vividly. Memories that are both strong and vivid are typified as being an actual experience. I also walked away from the deal with a highly developed ability to see things such as auras, a person's intent, and future events to come. But don't put flash cards in front of me - why would it be important to know the lines on a card? It's things that hold high emotional impact that I pick up on.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wonder if perhaps the reason all the NDE's sound alike to some degree might be due to people fearing that their conceptions of reality might become extremely distorted if they thought otherwise than the common theme of 'light beyond a tunnel, life flashing before the eyes'. It might be possible to assume that we as humans are simply unable to process the kinds of ideas I presented here with my own NDE unless we can relate those experiences to a common beliefs system. It will be interesting to see if anyone wants to actually question me about this.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Why not ask people their beliefs on existence both before and after their NDE?