Experience Description

As I waited for the third blood transfusion to be given to me. It was 10:00 pm of July 26, 2003 when the results taken from my blood test (taken at 5:00 pm) came back. I had 0.001 blood platelets left and 0.001 white blood cells. I thought I was able to reply to my mother's conversation with me, but in truth, I was very weak. Two of the doctors I had, gave up on me because they thought I would die that night.

I felt my body grew heavy as I saw my doctor friend. I read in her eyes that there was nothing she could do anymore for I could see that she had been crying. All she did was to massage my left leg, so I went to sleep. A few minutes or maybe hours, I felt that I woke and stood up; I thought somebody was lying beside me but I ignored it. I stood up on my hospital bed and jumped up and down.

I was so happy that I was finally fine. I looked at my hands and saw that I wasn't on dextrose anymore. I noticed that my hands were translucent (if I use this term right) I felt so light, didn't notice the hairs on my arms. I was just so happy to be feeling so light, happy, free and above all I was healed!!! I jumped up and down. I had no bleeding (terrible!!!) anymore. Then all of a sudden, as if a light lifted me up towards the corner of the room. I first saw the door. There was a nurse carrying a bed-pan full of blood. My doctor, still massaging my left leg. My mother, still pulling out the fist-sized blood clots coming out from me. My ex-boyfriend who was still wiping the sweat from my forehead.

And then, to my surprise, I saw that someone looked like me on the bed. She was just too pale, too weak and helpless - a dead person it seemed to me. So I shouted to my mother. 'Mama, I'm here!!!' I cried. 'That girl isn't me!' I shouted again, I screamed and cried but nobody heard me. I felt so bad that they didn't hear me. Then all of a sudden, somebody came up on my side. He/She had long black and curly hair, wearing a black robe. I didn't see his face. Without communicating with words, I don't know how - it seemed we understood by brain communication - he said, 'Follow me.' So I did. He held out his hand. We literally passed through the hospital wall. I even saw the rusty cable connecting the cemented blocks of my room.

It was crazy but we were ascending. Walking, but like floating on air. We ascended fast and I saw the city, which I know so well. I saw the car lights (like laser), as they circle the rotunda. I looked down and told him. I know the place very well but we went up faster and faster until we stopped by a small door. It was an arched door. It looked very dark. He held out his hand. I placed my hand on his, but I didn't feel anything. Instead, I stepped higher and found there was a man waiting to accept me at that door. The second man let me enter and held out his hand showing a very narrow road.

I looked around. All I saw was darkness. I was on the narrow path. I was in a tunnel. I couldn't find my way out. All a saw was a very bright light ahead of me but it was still as small as a pin head. It was compelling me to go near it.

So I inched my way towards it. The thing was, that path I was following wasn't an ordinary path. I had like clouds on my foot, everything was covered with fog/clouds that I could hardly see what I was stepping to. Only when I'd taken a step could I see that this small path was too narrow, it would only fit me. It was like silver-grey in color, it's a bit shimmering. Once my foot was set on the path, would the cloud move sideward and I'd see what I was stepping to. I moved slowly. No trees, no walls, just darkness, emptiness, that light and me. I was wearing a white-looking robe. I was lighter than a feather, floating and yet walking. I really don't feel the heaviness of having bones (*wink).

I looked back. I couldn't see anybody. I thought; please let me see my family even just for once. But no magic happened. I was getting nearer towards the light. It just occurred to me that I was already dead. I said, 'Lord, if that light is you, then I'm going towards you. I accept that my life on earth is over but please take care of my family because I wasn't able to say goodbye to them. I love them very much.' Having said that, I went faster towards the light, it was like something or someone was pulling me towards that light faster. I was so near that I entered those very strong rays (wish I could draw it). As soon as I was there - I felt LOVE, so wonderful, being home, being happy, being in peace (I could still feel it even until now.) I didn't want to go back. 'I'll stay here', I said.

Then all of a sudden, a very beautiful woman carrying a baby tried to pass by and block the light (which I believe is GOD) in front of me. She wore a golden robe; it was too bright to see the details of her very beautiful face. Then, I saw an angel, swooping in front of me, taking the baby from the beautiful lady's arms. They circled shortly around us and left.

I stood in front of that beautiful lady and the Light. I understood their communication. It wasn't English, German, Filipino or Latin. It was something else, another language. But we communicated through the mind. (This I can't explain in words alone.) The Light spoke (man's voice, a bit firm). 'She is staying here now. She's done and she's back home.' But the lady said, ' No, she isn't done yet. She has to go back.' I cried at the middle and said, 'I don't want to go back there. I'm here now, I'd like to stay here. This is my real home.'

But the lady told me that I had to go back because I had something to do. But I insisted on staying. Then, she turned towards the light and they talked. This time, I didn't understand what they talked about. All I noticed was that there were silhouettes of people moving towards that light. It was like a shining city around me (which I can't figure out until now) I saw angels flying all over the place. Happiness, love and peace around - all positive energy.

Then at last, they finished talking and I saw that the presence of the bright light was fading. The beautiful lady in gold held out her hand and told me that I wasn't done yet. I had to go back and finish something. I wasn't able to protest because the next thing I knew, I was in a narrow path again, leading me back to the entrance of that tunnel.

I was hesitant to enter back to my body but I couldn't do anything, I had to. So I slipped right back to my body, but it was very cold, I shivered so much only to wake up with the heaviness and that the third blood transfusion being 'dextrosed' into my body. I felt so heavy and tired. It was 7:30 am. Thirty minutes short before I'd be declared clinically dead.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: July 27, 2002

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Hemorrhagic Dengue Fever Life threatening event, but not clinical death I was waiting for the third blood transfusion because the two other transfusions made were unsuccessful.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was alarmed as to what was going on. Especially when I saw my body on the bed.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was conscious the whole time.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time seemed to be so fast but too slow - can't define that.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did your vision differ in any way from normal? The brightness of the light affected my vision.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? The sound seemed distant but near, it wasn't an echo, just something else.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was dark, the tunnel was arched and there was somebody at the entrance.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Angels, beautiful lady (Mother Mary I should say) Baby Jesus. Mary said that I had to go back. I'm not finished here. The baby smiled at me as the angel picked him up.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes When I was still at the tunnel, it was bright and like as small as a pinhead. Then it became brighter and brighter but not blinding.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm a beautiful, shining and bright happy city

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Beautiful, wonderful, happy, a little sad when I realized I was dead and sad/sorry that I wasn't able to say goodbye to my family.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Very accurate.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No I think I'd be a lost soul on earth, if I didn't enter back to my body.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Life is all about faith. It isn't about religion. It's only about how we live life and how we love and respect others. We are all equal.

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Life is all about faith. It isn't about religion. It's only about how we live life and how we love and respect others. We are all equal.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I am more able to give comfort to a lot of people. I'm able to heal simple discomforts to my family and close friends.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I love and treasure my relationships more than ever before, but I can also let go so easily.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The wonderful feeling is just too hard to express. And there are some things (I think) that I can't remember yet. I'm reminded of a specific event only at the right time. Until now, I'm still searching for a lot of things...

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I had paranormal gifts before the experience; I think after the experience this was even more and stronger.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, it's still the best thing that ever happened in my life. I'm still in search for the purpose and meaning of my life on earth. I'm taking life easily and I'm looking forward to my life after this life on earth.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A week after I was discharged from the hospital. (this was the time I remembered that I was somewhere else during my confinement). First, my father told me I was hallucinating. I called up my doctor and she believed in what I experienced. Others were very touched about it. Some would share their own experiences. Then they ask about death.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I heard of near death experiences but I never believed in them - not at all. Only after my NDE did I read books and stories about it to see similarities and to find answers to my questions.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I knew that it happened and my doctor confirmed it to me. My mother confirmed it to me too. It was real because I was very conscious when these things happened.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I believe it's definitely real because even until now, I'm still searching for the answer as to why I was sent back here on earth.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I'd still like to know why this happens. Will it be everybody who will experience this or is it just chosen ones and why? Why did I come back here? What do I have to finish because I don't know if I even started something? I'm in constant search.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Why do you think you experienced that? Do you think there is a reason why you had to come back on earth and why?