I had undiagnosed Lyme Disease for over a year. What most people don't know is that Lyme can attack your heart and simply stop it. I found this out the hard way while on a trip.
I was just waiting to get on the plane home when I started to feel light-headed and shaky. I laid down on a row of bucket seats and couldn't stop shivering. I was getting colder by the second, starting from the tips of my toes and fingers and slowly moving inward, toward my core, my heart. I knew, somehow, that if that coldness reached my heart, I was done. I panicked and tried to get up, to run from what was happening. It didn't help and the next thing I knew I had the weirdest sensation that I was being pulled by some force into a new place. It was like an inter-dimensional ‘Yoink!’
I opened my eyes, but it was dark. It wasn't cold. It wasn't hot. It was just space without time. Then, that same feeling of being pulled began again. I started slowly for the first millisecond and then it felt like I was moved across vast distances of space at unimaginable speeds. It felt like I had crossed the entire universe in less than three seconds, if time actually existed there. Which it didn't, really. In retrospect, it was a really cool way to travel. At the time, however, it was disconcerting, mostly because I had no idea where I was heading, or why, or what was happening.
Just as quickly as it began, it stopped. I stopped. There I was, dangling in a lukewarm, velvety black nothing. For a brief moment, nothing happened. I looked around and realized that there were, in fact, many millions of lights very far off in the distance, like stars. As soon as I started to focus on them, however, I saw something golden out of the corner of my eye. I looked into the black distance and saw what at first looked like a galaxy-long ribbon of golden-orange light. As I watched it, it grew larger. It took a few beats, but I realized that it was getting closer, and at an alarming rate. As it neared, I realized that it was enormous in height, bigger than any skyscraper and longer in each direction than could be seen. It sparkled in brilliant gold and orange and had the appearance of tassels at the bottom of a robe of unimaginable proportions. Suddenly, I somehow knew that it was the fringe of a Holy robe. And those golden tassels were made of fire.
Ever been in the ocean and saw an enormous wave curling over you and you just knew you were about to be pounded? Well, that is what I felt when that enormous wave of fire tassels swept toward me like a wave. I tried to kick my legs and move my arms to get out of the way. (Which is when I realized that I had them, even though they weren't getting me anywhere as, apparently, I was supposed to stay exactly where I had been put.) Just as it was about to hit me, I closed my eyes and resigned myself to oblivion.
The fire hit me. It did not burn like fire here. It pierced through every atom of my being, pulling me apart to almost breaking. It was agony and cleansing, both. I knew, without a shred of doubt, that if even a shred more force was added to the fire, I would explode into non-being. At some point, I surrendered to it. I could see into my own energy weaving, for lack of a better term. In my head, I asked, ‘What are we? How are we judged?’
In that same moment, He showed me the golden threads, interwoven, that made me, me. But that I did not exist alone. My golden energy threads extended throughout the universe, and they were not ‘mine’ at all. We, humanity, are all woven together and we are part of God's tapestry, of sorts. (There really are no words that can adequately describe this.) In between the golden threads, however, He leaves each of us empty spaces. The way he showed me is that we can fill up these empty spaces between the weave of threads with light or with darkness during our lives. We are made of God, but we are given free will. He has only to glance at us to know how we spent that free will. There is no way to hide any of it. And only His fire can clean up the dark spots.
I also got a private scolding, of sorts, inside my head. It had to do with not being such a coward when it comes to expressing love or trading love for ‘safety.’ Then, slam, I was back in my body.
It has taken me years to incorporate all of the lessons I learned there. In some ways, I wish that it had been warm and fuzzy, light and meadows, like some other near death experiences, but God had a message for me, and I am glad I got it, because it changed my life for the better.
Date NDE Occurred: 1999
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Illness. Other: Was in a foreign country and could not understand what the doctors were saying when I woke up. They just kept saying my heart.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I wouldn't say that there was more alertness, but you definitely have abilities that you don't have on Earth, like telepathy.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was all very real.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time doesn't matter there. There is no time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Vision appeared to be perfect, but it seems that you can look at things, focus on them, and you can see ‘into’ them to any depth, even microscopic.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Where I was, there wasn't any noise. Only answers being sent into my head in pictures and thoughts.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It was like floating in space. Except it was warm and I didn't have to worry about breathing.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Scared and awed. I had been called out by the Principal of all Time and Dimensions and Being. It's a tad sobering.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No I wouldn't want to know, unless it was a warning! That's what life is about!
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian At the time, I was an on-the-fence Christian. Sort of believed, but had a LOT of questions and doubt.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I study the ancient texts now.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian God is not in a church. He is EVERYTHING and EVERYWHERE.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I really didn't think God would ever talk to me during my lifetime to offer education. I didn't even know if He really existed. And, even if I had ever entertained the idea of what a NDE might be like, it was totally different from anything I could have imagined.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes There is hope for humankind, one soul at a time.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I don't know if it was Jesus or God who wanted to teach me that day. He didn't say. It was a very fatherly feeling, though.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes See above. We are made of God's energy, all connected to each other. But we have free will.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Lol. See above. I got schooled!
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I know God exists. I know He wants us to learn. I know that is what life is about, learning about love. I know He loves us, and he WILL put us in a time-out if he thinks we are not doing our best work. I know we show our love for Him simply by having faith in Him.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Its about love. There really is no mystery. Its all about love, and learning all about its many facets.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain He was telling me about judgment, sort of, which, to me, inferred that we are all called to account for ourselves at some point. When I thought this, He didn't correct me.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Fear is what stunts us. Fear needs to be faced head-on. (Don't worry, god is always with you...really!)
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes See above.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I am still me, but I am more open to life and others. I did not suffer fools before the experience, and I still don't, but I reach out to others and always try to pay it forward.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I got married, had kids and, wow, what didn't change with all that?
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes You see things that have no basis for comparison here in this world.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Yeah, well, you pretty much recall every second of the experience for every moment of the rest of your life.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I kill electronic equipment all the time. Batteries die. Light bulbs burn out. Cell phones don't last. It is a giant pain.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The rest between the Big Guy and me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my sister and a couple of friends. They were interested, I think, but they can never know for sure, can they?
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes My Grandmother told me about hers years before, after she had two consecutive heart attacks. She saw her Mom and floated in a peaceful light she never wanted to leave. Boy, did we ever have different experiences!
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It is more real than this place is, that is for sure. This pace is a shadow of that dimension.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? The dying part sucks. It really does. I don't look forward to doing that part again. But it is definitely worth the process to get to the other side.