Experience Description

It was a Saturday night and I was hanging out with my friends, we were smoking marijuana. I had been smoking a lot and really started to feel the effects. My boyfriend was in another room and I went to see what he was doing. All of a sudden, I felt really tall and I thought the room was shrinking. I started getting really scared, my boyfriend tried to tell me something, and I punched him. Right then he told everyone to leave because I never act like that. I started crying and so did my boyfriend, which scared me even more.

Eventually I started having trouble breathing and my boyfriend had to call an ambulance. By the time they got there I had turned white as a ghost and my chest had gone dumb. I can't really remember anything after that until I heard the emergency medical technician talking to me. He was trying to get me to stay awake. They had hooked me up to a heart monitor. I could hear it but I couldn't figure out where it was. Then I heard it flat-line. The emergency medical technician started shouting at the driver to hurry up and the sirens were turned on. I started freaking out and asked the emergency medical technician if I was going to die. He said he didn't know.

After he said that I started to have more trouble breathing. I remember thinking, 'Dear God, please don't let me die. I swear I will never do anything so stupid again. Please God I have so much to live for. What will happen to mom if I die. Especially if I die like this.' I kept saying that over and over in my head. I had never prayed so hard in my life. All of a sudden everything became very quiet and I felt very peaceful. I was surrounded by a brilliant white light and felt very safe and happy. I felt like I was floating and I could see everything that was happening to me. I saw myself lying in the ambulance and I became very frightened. I looked so horrible. My eyes were halfway opened and I was shaking violently. My skin had turned ashy gray.

I realized that my boyfriend was crying in the front seat. Then I felt a hand gently pushing me forward and then was back in my body, I guess, if I had left it. I stopped shaking and felt very peaceful. I knew I had walked the line and God gave me a second chance.

Later I found out I had only flat lined for a few seconds, but it seemed as if time had stopped. Ever since that night I have felt a presence with me everywhere, I guess you could say it's watching over me. Sometimes when I get myself into trouble, the presence seems to become stronger.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Early March, 2003

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug Overdose Life threatening event, but not clinical death My heart stopped beating.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I couldn't see myself out of my body.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I guess I was only half conscious.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time felt like it had stopped.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I couldn't hear anything.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I was surrounded by a beautiful, bright, white light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I just felt like everything would be alright.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was pushed.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Catholic

What is your religion now? Liberal I don't go the church anymore but feel closer to God.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My belief in God became much stronger.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I just feel like there are no words to fully explain what happened to me. If there were, don't think anyone would understand or believe me

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I now feel the presence of something. It may be a guardian angel.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Feeling that God was with me was the best part. Seeing myself the way I looked on that stretcher was the worst.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I tried to tell my boyfriend about it but he said I was just high.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No.