This experience was from domestic violence. Strangulation. I felt trapped and could not get away. I tried to scream but that only made him tighten his hands around my neck more. I was very acutely aware of what was happening in that I stopped screaming because it was making the situation worse. I did try to get him off me, as I was pinned down. He was too strong and overpowering. I thought I could scratch his face. My finger nails were long and I could see myself embedding my fingernails in his face and pulling them down his face to do something. A thought/voice said to me at that point you will be the same as him and I decided not to do that. I knew at that I was going to die. My chest was hurting. My face felt like it would explode it was so painful. The last thing I remembered saying was, ‘God help me.’The next thing I remember it was dark and I could see sort of figures in the dark. More like forms or outlines. I think I was above them. As I looked down, I saw what I thought at the time was someone with blonde hair. I thought that this is not for me. There is no place for me. I panicked when I saw this horrible mask. This frightened me a great deal. I felt this great fear and my eyes opened and I was looking into the eyes of my then boyfriend. I went into a total panic. I thought I was going to have to go through this again. I remembered sort of gurgling and thought I was having a fit. I think it was just trying to breathe again.
Date NDE Occurred: 1973
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I was being strangled.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Not sure if you mean the actual attack.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When the voice said you will be the same as him during the attack. I now believe that this is what had perhaps saved my life. If I had done what I was going to, I believe this would have made him angry and when I lost consciousness or started to leave my body his anger could have kept the momentum of the attack going. But I cannot say for sure.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I think I was concentrating so much on what to do that I did not notice my vision.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember. My concentration was elsewhere.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Later, when I thought about the experience, I thought there was someone with blond hair among the dark who was a light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It was dark until I came upon the light.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I had the feeling I did not belong there or that there was not a place for me or no room for me.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I tend to go for more New Age now rather than follow my Catholic religion.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Unknown
What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I guess I thought you just died and that was it. Was not aware of once life ended that you went through perhaps a process.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I became very insecure. I did not make any plans because what was the point? I may not be here.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Uncertain Only the forms or outlines I saw I was aware that they were people but could not see them
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I greatly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life It did cause a great deal of confusion for me. If there was a God, why did this happen? I want to believe but have some doubts about how God relates to me.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I find it hard to get close to people.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I can tell you it all but I am not there. I have disassociated myself.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events at time
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I did have a couple of premonitions, but these were a long time after and when I was doing an alternative health course. After I finished I have never had anymore.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It only brought confusion as to why I came back. What was the reason?
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The near death experience not so much because I guess people might think I am a bit strange or made it up. I want to just get this all sorted it has been with me too long. I don't like to talk about it because of the violence that was associated with it. That I don't want to remember.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I kept thinking what would it be like to be dead. I thought about that for some time. When really I should have been thinking about being alive.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was real because I remember/ visualize it. I cannot or do not want to experience the violence.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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