Experience Description

I was walking with a friend after school. I never saw the drunk driver go off the road, because he hit me from behind. Suddenly I was floating in this black void, totally conscious of myself and my identity. I was curious, but not afraid. There was nothing to see, just blackness. I had no idea what was going on, but I had the feeling of moving forward and going somewhere. I was extremely excited and happy. As I moved along, the happiness became intense joy.

Then it changed. I had reached some sort of barrier and something indicated to me that I had to 'go back.' I have not, to this day, ever experienced such bitter disappointment as I felt when I was 'told' to return. I did not want to return, but I had the distinct 'feeling' of turning around. Returning felt like falling from a great height. It was a very uncomfortable feeling. It was as if I were plummeting into the depths of HELL. It became terrifying! As I got closer to my destination, I could hear someone screaming. As I fell, the screaming was getting louder and louder until I 'fell' into my body and realized that I was the one who was screaming. What I was screaming was, 'Let me die!' over and over, while I was struggling with the medical personnel who were working on me, trying to save me.

After this, I was heavily medicated and I remember slipping in and out of consciousness during the next two weeks. When I finally woke up, I had no idea what had happened to me, no recollection of the accident. When I talked about my experience, no one seemed to be interested. I, myself, did not understand what it was about until many years later, when I read about near death experiences. I knew, then, that is what had happened to me.

The physical injuries I received took nearly ten years to recover from.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'November 11, 1965'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' severe trauma. Concussion, severe bleeding, broken bones, internal injuries.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Definitely altered, but indescribable. Separate and real.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Actually, I couldn't see anything. All was a black void.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no sound, either. When I was 'told' I had to return, it was more like a telepathic communication.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It was a black void, with the feeling of movement.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt excitement, anticipation, and joy - until I realized I was to return to this life. Then I felt sorrow, disappointment, dread, and terror.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I did learn that consciousness exists outside and apart from the body. I do not feel that I will be afraid when it is time for me to die. I feel that death will be another adventure.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Before I reached my 'destination', it was indicated to me that I had to return. I was not to go on.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal NONE

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal NONE

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes That there is more to us than what we experience here in this worldly plane of existence.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No I love nature and simple things. I do not understand why people struggle so hard to accumulate stuff and why they fight and hurt each other so much. I had been a very outgoing child, but as an adult, I keep to myself, except to help out where I can. I have been able to care for and help three people that I love go through the end of life process without myself becoming paralyzed emotionally about it. It was when they were dying from cancer. I was able to do this because I knew death is not final - I knew that they would continue to exist. I related my experience to them and hoped it would comfort them. Not sure if it did. I doubt I could have assumed the caregiver role had I not had this knowledge. I saw so many others too afraid to even visit them.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, the feelings of extreme disappointment when I was 'told' to return and when I heard, very faintly at first, the screaming that got louder and louder until I entered my body to realize that I was the one doing the screaming and WHAT I was saying.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes When I had recovered enough to be able to speak coherently, I attempted to tell my family and my doctor what I had experienced. The doctors told me I had experienced hallucinations from anoxia. My family did not appear to be interested. After all, I was just a child.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I had never heard of such a thing.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Shortly after my experience I saw it as 'definitely real.' I did not know what to think, I had no frame of reference.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Currently I view the experience as 'definitely real.' I had been near death - was very probably in the process of dying, and my consciousness had separated from my body. But then I was saved before I 'crossed over'.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I feel that I have privileged inside information.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? You had it covered as far as my experience went.