I was physically and emotionally exhausted after running from my husband. We, my teenage daughter and I, landed in Atlanta, Georgia after two weeks on the road. It was nearly 1,000 miles from where we had started. I was experiencing one painful abscess after another on various parts of my body and was in a doctor's office waiting for him to come in and lance it when, suddenly, I was in an immense black, yet clear as glass, void. Wondering where I was, but not frightened. I peered into the darkness and in the distance saw a tiny light that flickered and blinked like an eye. As I watched, it began to come toward me, though I might have been going toward it, I'm not sure. As I watched, it came closer and when it was very close. I saw that the light was coming from inside a large pink Lotus. The petals were opening to reveal more and more light. Curious, I reached out to touch it and instantly I was inside it. An exquisite overwhelming feeling of love poured through me. It was so intense I was afraid I wouldn't be able to bear it. I was feeling safe and loved for the first time in my life. Somehow, I knew that this was God and that I was Home. Then, from a distance, I heard my name being called. I shook my head, trying to deny it, afraid that it was trying to make me come back. It sounded again and again. Suddenly, I was back in the doctor's office. I burst into angry tears and screamed at him, saying he had no right to call me back. He was astonished, of course, and didn't know what I was talking about. He thought I had dozed off while I was waiting for him. It was only a minute or two later that I touched the spot where the abscess was and realized that it was gone. In its place was a feeling of warmth.
Date NDE Occurred: 'March, 1977'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening'
Sociopathic, violent ex-husband promised to find and kill me.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes As I described above, there was the pink lotus and the Light that enfolded me and made me feel I had come home.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Immediately after returning to consciousness.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. When I left the doctor's office, the world looked sharper and brighter than it ever had. My senses were heightened. Colors were primary, like the colors in a child's paint box. I never felt so alive. It was a gift, one that said I didn't have to be so afraid anymore.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had excellent hearing, before, during and after the experience.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Light that was brighter and whiter than any light I'd ever seen, almost blinding, pushing all the darkness away.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm As above.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Exalted and full of joy.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? No comment My race is Jewish and though I believe in God, I believe that all roads lead back to the God Presence and Home.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Jewish I feel that I can and often do qet very quiet and try to communicate with the God Presence.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was keenly aware of God, but didn't know that the life I was living was largely an illusion and that it was possible to go into the closet of my mind, become very quiet and feel comforted.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I felt the presence of God.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes As described above.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes As described above.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes As described above.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes As described above/
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Unknown
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is the only thing that's real. Everything else is illusion.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life No change. I was and remain a social cripple. I freeze if asked to speak before a group or interact with others at meetings and parties. Moderate changes in my life
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I can never forget the people and things that have happened to me, good and bad, and use them in what I write.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I knew that I am loved for the first time in my life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I came from an abusive unloving childhood and married twice, both times to abusive unloving men. Disturbed persons gravitate toward me, as if knowing I have no defenses. I was and remain painfully shy and am easily pushed around. I have many acquaintances, but no friends. The only time I'm brave enough to express myself is when I'm writing. Love is the only thing that's real. Everything else is an illusion. I was keenly aware of God, but didn't know that the life I was living was largely an illusion and that it was possible to go into the closet of my mind, become very quiet and feel comforted. I can never forget the people and things that have happened to me, good and bad, and use them in what I write.
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