During sex, I suddenly felt as if an axe had been put into my head, and the pain would not stop. I made it 5 feet to the bathroom, where I immediately vomited and lost control of my urinary tract and bowel. I told my partner to leave as I was sick and wanted to be alone. My partner left and I flopped onto the bed.
As I lay on my bed after my partner left, I went into a state of pain beyond pain and into a dark place. It became a deep blue, then a turquoise blue, then a pale blue. It changed to a dark white, then to a brighter white, and then to a white like a welding torch. I could feel my body going upward as this happened. I was then standing and saw the beautiful sight of a man who was sitting on a rock. He had a beard and a tunic. This man was talking with little babies who were standing around him and they understood him.
Then I saw my grandfather. As he came toward me, a lady in a clear soft blue flowing gown stepped between us, saying, 'She has not yet done her assignment and has to go back.' My grandfather said, 'We will be here for you Lillian.' I felt her touch my wrist and I was back to the entrance of the torch bright light.
That was Friday night. I never saw Saturday. On Sunday, around noon, a neighbor woke me up and took me to the drugstore for medication, as I thought it was a flu bug. I pushed the car out of a ditch of snow and went home to sleep until Monday morning for work. I then went to work and remember walking into a waste basket, after which I kept walking. Later I decided to go to the doctor and was taken from there to the hospital by ambulance. I had a brain operation within minutes of arrival at the hospital. That was Feb 02 1993. Two days later, I had a second operation for a subdural hematoma brain bleed.
Date NDE Occurred: Jan 31 1993
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes a completely unexpected brain aneurism.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was looking at myself on my bed and went into myself and slept. Before the second level of pain. Then I felt like myself when the lady touched my wrist. Two days later when I awoke, I was still dizzy.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. All was clear. I wear glasses and just had a cataract operation last year in the right eye, but during the ordeal, I had 20/20 vision and no glasses. I was in extreme pain and when I went into the colors of light, I had no pain. When I woke up I had pain in my brain once more.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Kind of. My bedroom in the trailer was small and it felt like it transformed into this hole, which I fell down into the dark blue and then gently up to the light blue, and then faster into the torch white and final journey. Going back was like a light silver ribbon led me back to my body.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The man with the beard on a rock, infants that could stand upright, a lady in a soft blue flowing gown and my grandfather. The lady had a nearly transparent face and told me not to worry and that she would guide me.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Darkness, dark blue, lighter blue, dark white, lighter white, welding torch white, almost a golden opening of light, bright and peaceful and beautiful.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm beautiful lawns of green and pink, trees of petels falling like snow, diamond
and gold like homes in a distance. Large rock by the entrance with the man
with a beard on it. Flowing blue gown of the lady who seemed to float not walk
to me. Her eyes were large and i did not see her mouth move .
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I had many questions. I wanted more knowledge. I felt pain free and was able to see 100% better. I could feel the coolness in the dark colors and warmth in the light ones. I had the smell of burning rubber when the head pain started and now it tasted like cinnamon. I felt like I could do anything and fly anywhere. I loved God with all my heart.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I learned that death is nothing to fear, but to welcome for your next life adventure.
I was told not to worry and that it may happen again very soon (which it did on the 4th) and to just go with it. I told my doctor, who couldn't believe it as I showed no pain the second time (when I was operated on within minutes), although I did feel a sharp thin blade cutting my head above my eyebrows.
The doctor said the first operation was for an aneurism, but as the hospital had nothing to compare it to he had to put the condition down as subdural hematoma. They sent me to another hospital after that and I had an angiogram. They found both ends of the second one, but only one end of the first one. My veins in my brain should be a figure 8 but mine are becoming 'c', like half an 8. Nerves in the brain are like mounds that send the signal, but mine are deteriorating in the middle of the hump with white partials at the base. I feel stuff happening inside my brain sometimes and know it's only a matter of time before it all ends, but I am not afraid to die. I know I will become energy in my next step and others will see me as orbs of light energy if they look for it. As it is written, life will no longer exist as we know it.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate believe in god
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I have always believed in God, Jesus and Mother Mary. Nothing else except the Great Spirit. I can't explain it, it may be Indian related I'm not sure, but I know there is a Great Spirit.
What is your religion now? Moderate believe in god
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I have always believed in God, Jesus and Mother Mary. Nothing else except the Great Spirit. I can't explain it, it may be Indian related I'm not sure, but I know there is a Great Spirit.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes No fear in death, rebirth as energy. Other things are within my brain but I can't quite grasp them - maybe a message, I'm unsure. I would be prepared to undergo hypnotherapy.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I neither have nor want any romantic relationships. I have had my female parts removed and my thyroid removed after a year of radiation and radioactive iodine. I have three forms of arthritis and all kinds of medical problems since the brain aneurism. It keeps coming, but I know that I can take it and will be a better being in the next life. My family is enough.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have no luck at games or anything, but I sometimes answer the phone before it rings or know someone is coming when I don't normally have visitors. I seem to bring luck to people around me, like at bingo.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing my grandfather smile. This relieved me, as he had a scared look when he held my hand as he was dying and called me Grace, my grandma who died when I was 4. He had spent almost 30 years by himself and never remarried or dated. I have not had a relationship since 1993 myself. Prior to that I was married 6 times to 5 different men. Yes, I married one twice. The man I loved the most I wasn't married to and he died of an aneurism. He just dropped dead and it was a great loss.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My kids have some precognition as well, and my grandchildren even more. My great granddaughter visits me and tells me what is happening at her home some 70 miles away and is usually right.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real To this day I know it was real, and someday I will repeat the journey and close the lighted path behind me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Just doing things like this info sheet bring it back somewhat, which is ok.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I can endure a lot of illness pain, and think I have to so others won't maybe. I have the feeling that if someone dies their spirit can jump into me and live within me until God is ready to take them into the light for their journey to their next life.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Ask if they can feel like they physically touched anything and if it still remains real today. I did - the lady's hand on my wrist. Thanks for letting me talk about it. I think it makes me feel better to talk or write about it. Maybe more will come to mind in time.