Experience Description

The first experience in 1971 I came out of the drug extremely fearful. Didn't remember much. In 1972, same procedure, same dentist, when they administered the drug I entered the void. Feeling of slowing tumbling through grayish void, very alone, no one to answer my questions, 'Where am I? What am I doing here?' No awareness of body. Suddenly a light appears. I immediately go to it. Sensation of speed, hurling toward the light. I remember thinking, what if this is death. What if I go there, I can't get back. The split second I have this thought the falling away happens. Hellish, the proverbial wailing and gnashing of teeth, and realizing you just lost your chance to be with God. Eternal failure. I come out of the drug during surgery scared straight. I remembered some.

In 1973, again same dentists, they administer the drug, I'm back in the void. I realize that I have been here before. The light appears again. No hesitation I go to it. Getting closer. All of a sudden I think, 'What if this is a trick? What if this is bad?' An extremely fearful situation. Boom! I'm falling away. Hard to describe this hell. Again, I come out of the drug extremely scared. I remember everything. Start studying religions, philosophy, especially God always described as light. After this, the dentists refuse to work on me.

In 1974, my mother took me to a different dentist. At the time I didn't realize what was happening. The dentist was totally unaware of my reaction. Again, when given the drug, I'm in the void. I'm totally familiar with this now and what is going to happen. Again the light. Again hurling toward it trying to put my total faith in what that light is. Again failure. Then I'm back in the void. The light again appears. Instead of going to the light I basically prostate myself in its presence and plead, 'What is it I can do to be with you? How can I serve you?' Boom. I'm with God. I can remember laughing hysterically, not in a physical way, but the impulse that would make you feel that good. I can remember repeating over and over again, 'Is this what it's all about.' Then an annoying sonar type sound. It's distracting. It is more warbled and in time becomes the voice of one very scared and frantic dentist. He has me by my shoulders and is frantically yelling at me to open my eyes. The nurse is trying to pull the needle out of my arm. A very intense moment. I remember everything. I learn true humility and now treasure it.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1971,72,73,74 possibly in 1956

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-relatedAllergic reaction Life threatening event, but not clinical death Extreme blood pressure drop. Ceased breathing.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes No form.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I felt very conscious, very alert.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I find it hard to describe the void, the tunnel, the light, as a space or time thing.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes See main narrative.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Just the light. Does God count as a being? Just kidding.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes See main narrative.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was total love before I was pulled back. Nice place to visit.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? From total eternal failure, to total feeling of love. I experienced both.

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I've come to the conclusion that it's so simple, it's hard to explain. It's just love.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Humility and humility. I now see that light in everyone I meet.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Went to the light willingly. Knew it would be good. Just wasn't sure how to do it.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No Dentist brought me from a long way back. He was absolutely shaken by what happened.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Just as most NDErs just feel great with life.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There wasn't any information available on the subject in the early 1970's. Mostly kept the information to myself until I fully understood what was happening.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Mostly the gift of knowledge. It's time for me to share it. I must have oral surgery again soon and I know what will happen. Feel I wouldn't fare well if I took this knowledge with me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Being with the light. Doubting the light.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes To some it's very important to them. To others just interesting conversation.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I've scared doctors all of my life with bad reactions to shots and blood tests and such.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Has there been any tests involving someone that knows when he will go back to this experience. Under surgery, I know I will go there.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I attend the St. Louis IANDS (International Association for Near Death Studies) meetings hoping for answers to questions. I feel that's why I am contacting you. I've been extremely hesitant in the past.