Experience Description

My mother at the time was away at a camp with her special education class. I never stopped bleeding after a menstrual cycle. The doctor I had (my mother's) obviously never knew what caused this condition because he asked me had I had sexual relations. I was raised Catholic and it would have been sinful and no I did not at that age. I heard something about what was attributed as polyps holding the uterus open. I don't know where I heard it -- everything but death seems like a blur. To this day, I believe I should have died (stayed dead) for it felt like my time.

I am perplexed at times when I have read about other near death experiences. Because it seems that, I didn't make it as far as everyone else seems to have gone.

I was steadily weakening so far as to not make it four feet before passing out on my way to the bathroom and then back to bed. My friends were afraid and somehow contacted my mother and brought her home. This was the fourth day. I was coherent enough that night to answer to her that I did not want to go to hospital that I was sure I would be all right. Boy, the body really knows when it is going to die. What an alarm it sends out! At one point during the night after not being able to sit up, I sat straight up in bed and that alarm rang, 'Oh my God! I'm going to die.'

I felt almost peaceful and I didn't want to get out of bed but that Catholicism took over and I thought and thought quickly that 'if I know I am going to die and let myself die that's committing suicide'. I called out to my mother and let her know that I'd better go to hospital. Her friend and she lifted me under my arms and I did as best I could to climb into the back seat of my mother's car. I don't remember how they got me on a stretcher at the hospital but I do remember this was the last I saw through my human eyes. As I lay on that stretcher I saw the face of a nurse who was looking so close into mine, a look of horror on her face as if she knew, and all I felt I could do was smile. I felt I had the largest smile on my face that I had ever smiled. There was nothing but peace and a total feeling of well-being. Death and a total feeling of wellbeing? A very natural state believe or not.

I began to see and feel in a very different state. My perspective was very close to my head as I lay on the bed but outside at the level of my head. I saw the doctors poking me with needles and the thought raced across me, 'How wonderful to not feel any pain. How amazing to be this aware and happy and to not feel any pain.' It was great. The next thing I remember is being up toward the ceiling and looking down, I saw my body and the doctors and assistants hovered all around me. They were looking at my body very concerned and motionless, almost as if they were waiting for something to happen. I was very aware, very happy and extremely at peace. I looked at my body in that state and suddenly tried to make myself speak 'Tell them it is too late.' As I tried, what we humans would call desperately but you couldn't feel desperation. As if, you couldn't feel any negative feeling. This is what is so difficult to explain. 'Tell them', I continued again, almost trying to force, the lips open on command. Then came the realization. 'Oh yes,' I thought, 'dead people can't speak'.

I then looked to the doctors trying to get their attention, 'Let her go, it's too late -- let her go.' When I think back on this, I realize that this was complete separation from the body. It was wonderful. I didn't get anyone's attention and from that minute on I don't remember a thing.

I did not experience any dark tunnel; I did not experience any bright light, no relatives, no life regression, and no plunge back into my body, no silver cord nor anyone telling me that it was not my time. I can't figure why and this is why I would like to get the medical records. Could it be that they saved me that fast?

From such a wonderful experience, I awoke to this big fat face in my face screaming, 'Did you have sexual relations with a boy? You were in shock you could've been dead!' If you've had a NDE you can imagine the devastation. It was like waking up in hell but I know there is no such place. And what we would think of as the antithesis of this whole experience is absolutely ironic.

But I did have my angel, for I felt so alone at this welcome back into the world that I just screamed back at him, 'No,' at the height of my voice that I had found again. After he had left, I was much too destroyed to even be in tears for I was still in shock. I heard the curtain swish softly aside and the most beautiful person, a woman in the next bed, spoke to me. She said so sweetly, 'I was always afraid that when I was under anesthesia that I would call him a big fat frog.' That is exactly what I needed and I haven't stopped laughing yet. I never saw her again.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: NOVEMBER, 1972

NDE Elements:


How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes See main narrative.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Totally aware but dead.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I found out when I awoke that I had lost three days.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total peace, total awareness, and no negativity whatsoever.

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe But only by sense. I felt that this was the natural state of being and was very excited to continue for all true knowledge seemed to stream through you after the realization of death. I became what I can say was my 'higher self' who understands all.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Not really, it seems I have always had a link to my higher self.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have expressed this experience maybe three times in thirty years.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes If I had tended to be psychic before I do see things but at random. For instance: I work for an apartment complex with six historic towers. One day as I drove to work, I would always make a game out of a narrow winding drive where I would look up and see one of the towers above the tall tree line, I saw the top crumble. We have a very serious problem right now with that one building with -- crumbling brick, five years after the sighting. Many other things but at random.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The total peace was the best, waking up was the worst.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Not many. I've tried.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No No drug could ever produce this kind of experience.