Experience Description

I was in a dark space. There were others around me, to both my sides, above and below me. The dark space I was in was almost ‘soupy’, filled with liquid mercury. I was floating in that mercury.

There was a lighted "doorway" above me, and the light from outside that door flooded the vast room I was in. I was struggling to make it to the doorway, but somehow I then knew I couldn't make it yet. I realized I had to stay and help the people who were crying out below

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: August 1989

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness On life-support system in ICU due to viral encephalitis Life threatening event, but not clinical death I had contracted viral encephalitis [inflammation of the brain, usually caused by a viral infection]. I was in the Intensive Care Unit on life-support for two weeks and in hospital for a month.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Disturbing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes It was a very physical experience, but the physicality was to do with my mind, not my body. It was my mind that was moving and reaching and floating, not my body.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was more real than anything I've ever felt. I was very much awake and "with it".

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I think I was in a different time. Certainly not in a place or time that has happened here on earth.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I could hear the people crying, but it wasn't hearing them so much as sensing them.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I was in an enclosed space, but it was huge. I feel sure that the “lighted doorway” led to "outside".

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My family were down below. They wanted me to help them and stay with them.

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was like a doorway, with light flooding from the doorway into the dark space I was in, creating a path. I felt like I was moving along the path, but my hold was tenuous, like walking along a light beam that could collapse at any moment.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt a terrible fear for the people below me. I was scared that I would fall off the light beam and fall down. I also felt desperate to reach the “lighted doorway”.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe That all life is precious.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Since the experience, I have known how precious life is. I became a vegan and a practicing Wiccan. I am now very involved with environmentalism and the earth-religion movement.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I couldn't get through the doorway. If I could, I wouldn't have come back. But I don't know where it went.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was aware that I couldn't go through the doorway and leave the people I love behind. But I'm not sure whether it was a decision or just something I couldn't do. I'm not aware that the decision was made for me.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I became a Wiccan and founded a religious group. I also became a vegan, and founded a website and associated newsgroup. I'd been neither Wiccan nor vegan beforehand.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The strength of emotion I felt makes it difficult. But mainly, I find that even though I'm usually a good communicator, this is one thing I can't talk about. It's been 12 years since the experience and I still start crying when I think about it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I've become very empathic since, and can zone in on what others feel. I can sometimes hear what they're thinking.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part was knowing the light exists. The worst part was knowing that there were people down below that I couldn't reach to help.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some people suspect that the drugs I was on might be involved. I think that would be possible, except for the way in which it affected every aspect of my life. I have been a different person ever since. The close friends I have told know that it's true, and it has affected their lives too.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I guess I'm writing this because I need to know that others out there have been through the same experience.