I was a 19 years old, charming and energetic girl preparing for my University exams. I know the date and time as well. I watched the program called the 'The World This Week' with Prannoy Roy. There was a session about NDE. My parents, elder sister and youngest brother were sleeping. My other brother, Anand, was exercising lifting, weights in my room. I resumed my studies, switching off lights and the television.
We had a casual chat. He questioned me, 'Hey, what will you do, if you are about to die now'? I said, 'I just now watched something on death; I am not scared. You can try.'
He was 18 years old, strong and well built. He told me, 'I do not believe. I shall hold your throat, you won't be able to breathe, and then you will kick me.'
I said 'Go ahead, why not?'
He held my throat and I could not breathe. But to win the challenge, I said to myself 'let me see, how I am going to face this?'
I felt light, cool, pleasant and indescribable. I saw soft soothing bright blue light and felt somebody smiling. I saw a figure with human male features, golden globes all around and felt like I was warm comfortable in this form. I saw myself seated on a wooden armed chair in front of a wooden table.
I was wearing a light pink knee-length skirt and an orange shirt. My brother was stroking my cheeks. My father, mother, brother and sister kept sleeping. Although I could see, it wasn't quite like seeing, but rather a knowing. My brother was crying and feeling so miserable. I could hear him saying 'NO, I killed you Kashi.' (Kashi is my nickname.) I wanted to melt into that beautiful light. But, I said 'I can't do this to Anand, I want to go.' The man's face was still smiling. One thing about that face is that it was not as if it was made of skin and flesh of any sort. It was like shapes you notice in clouds, but it was full of beauty, serenity, and completeness. >br> I just slipped into my physical body. I could feel the shake and relief in my brother.
I saw him and smiled. He asked 'Are you alright?' several times. I kept telling him, 'I am okay.'
He said he was sorry. Then I went to bed and slept.
But that experience remained with me.
My brother later shared that, my eyes popped out and when I regained my posture, I closed my eyes. I talked in a strange language, which he could not comprehend and had not heard before.
Date NDE Occurred: 10.09.1991
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Other: Studying for my University exams, quarter past 10.00 p.m. healthy, cheerful
Playfully, my brother choked my throat.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No I saw my family sleeping.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt deep pain for my brother. I was worried of what he would experience, if I did not return to my physical body. I could feel that my mother had some unexplainable pain about her father's demise and had more love and attachment towards my youngest brother.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As I was looking at myself and things in my room, at my father, mother, siblings and Anand crying, I was fully aware, I felt light, and delighted.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I felt there was no time at all. I was there, but not as my body or any other identity. Time it's nothing, nothing at all.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is not seeing actually. I don't think I was using any of my body senses at all. Nothing was verbal; it was like flow of water or smooth siphoning and instantaneously happening.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was not like hearing. The man's face kept on smiling and didn't even move its lips. It was not hearing literally. It is more like absorbing.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was smooth, hues of blue and golden, and full of some vibrating energy. The face was illuminated with the same hues and energy.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm That face I have never seen in any comics, books or on TV. I have never encountered smooth features, but I never saw any other body parts, not even hair on the face, and the smile as though it is always eternal.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Exhilaration and feeling of melting and deeply moved for Anand
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life My Anand, I felt his misery. Otherwise, I never wanted to come back since it was so soothing.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Hindu I am a Hindu with secular outlook. I had a strong sense of belief that different religions have evolved after some empirical or some experience. I loved to read books related to these experiences ; I infact loved Of Human Bondage, and my favourite was The razors edge.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I don't feel compelled to chant because I'll encounter sin. I do it for the joy of doing it and I love doing my oblations to god [Pooja] without any religious dogmas and donΓÇÖts attached to it.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Hindu I am a Hindu and recite verses written by seers, which are simple and emotionally connected. I strongly feel now that I must pray for the pure joy of praying but not seeking something.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience We are told about Brahman or the supreme self. We are not this biological body. Death is like passing from one room to another and the atman is eternal.
During death, it is said, we will encounter Yama the death god, who I did not experience.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I felt the same pain of my mother... and anguish of my brother. I stopped killing insects because I know how the pain feels. I was born in a vegetarian family, I thanked god for that.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin When I said I want to go, the face did say, 'Go now.'
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No See Experience
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I felt that face was, it is everything and the force behind everything. God definitely exists.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt my mother's distress. I feel I was with my mother helping her later, even though she never acknowledged it. I never felt bad about that, but I knew something is going to be wrong with her and it certainly will. Why? I don't know but it did not shake me much. I remained calm and sailed through.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I felt liberated but I will be there always.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I felt my mom carried lot of pain in her heart. I felt her life would be miserable. I don't know why. Later on it became true. My mom became schizophrenic, though she is no more, I feel as though I knew it. I became attached to her; and started helping her in daily chores. As a young girl, I could not explain that. I was ever ready to handle her mood swings and concerned about her.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes That light and face and the entire flow of light, was nothing but love.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown It happened when I was very young. But it made me aware that something exists beyond physical life. My inclination towards my mom became more.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My attitude towards my mom changed a lot.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain Because, of the things I saw, the golden balls or circular objects innumerable, but I felt they had life force or energy. But they are not sort of living things or celestial objects like planets or stars. The face and the feel of the travel, if I put that in words, how much ever I try, it is clearly inadequate.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I don't know. If you ask me, what clothes I had on and unless I see photographs, I cannot recollect how I looked. But I remember my pink skirt and orange shirt so very well and the world this week and the doctor who interacted with Prannoy Roy. Even now, it is crystal clear.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I don't know how to explain. If I say something out of my mind, it comes true.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I have innumerable reasons why I don't have time to sit and close my eyes. But once I do, that face flashes and I melt.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain With my daughters, but not in detail, I am afraid people may not believe me or I just don't want to share, simply.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was long ago, but I remember touching my hands legs, eyes again and again. I used to gasp my breath to experience the same again, which of course never happened. But I felt light and calm.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real That face and the flow of light lightness, it is still with me.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It was real. That's it. But if somebody gives me any other explanation like my brother Anand did 10 years ago, that it is called asphyxiation or something, it is not, I do not argue with him or her.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None comes to mind.