After the spinal went too high, the most emotionally supportive nurse was forced to leave the room by the doctor and I was upset about this. This was my last conscious thought...
The next thing I knew, a lady whom I thought was a nurse, was on my left and holding my left hand. She acted like my 'support' person. At first I thought she was the same supportive nurse who was previously on my right but whom the doctor forced to leave the room. She said that she was not that nurse. I asked if she was a different nurse but she told me that she was not a nurse at all. I found that confusing. She said she was going to take me to another place. I thought that she was going to escort me to another part of the hospital. I didn't think about how easy it was for me to walk, or that I was walking at all despite having had a spinal and being in the middle of a caesarean. I just walked with her without realizing what was happening.
It was a clean, white corridor and it seemed to go on for a long time and around corners. We talked and she assured me that I should not be scared. We came to the end of the corridor and there was a door. She asked me 'Are you ready?' I said, 'Yes.' I saw both of my maternal and paternal deceased grandfathers. There was another man there who, I didn't know. My paternal grandfather said, 'That's Margaret's father,' meaning it was my great-grandfather who was my paternal grandmother's father. (I later found out that he was a great, kind man). I was thrilled to see these ancestors and not scared at all.
My whole life flashed before my eyes. Although it was fast, I had enough time to absorb all of it. I saw childhood memories that I had forgotten. I can since remember these because of this life review. The focus of my life's 'video tape' was heavily focused on my childhood. There was a gate and a Being asked me if I wanted to enter. I said, 'Yes.' It was very pleasant to be there. The Being asked, 'Are you sure? You have this new baby who needs you.' I replied, 'Yes, I'm sure. My husband Dale will be a really good Dad.' And then the Being asked, 'Do you want to see your girls?' Excitedly, I said 'Am I having a girl? Am I having twins?' The being said 'No, not twins.' I expectantly looked around for another 'video tape' of my daughters. I turned around and I could see the back of two little girls, both in pretty summer dresses, happily swinging on a swing set. Both daughters had dark hair. I was desperate to see their faces. The Being must have accepted my desire to see their faces as tacit agreement to go back to my body. I was only a moment away from seeing their faces when I suddenly found myself back in my body and back in the operating room.
My baby was a girl, and I had another one 18 months later. I now have two daughters, and both have dark hair.
Date NDE Occurred: 16/2/2002
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. Childbirth. Life threatening event, but not clinical death
They gave me too much anesthesia during cesarean childbirth. The spinal went too high and I couldn't cough when I needed. The doctor made all people leave the operating room except for one nurse.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I seemed to have the same cognitive function but I was oblivious to the fact that I was dying and having a near death experience.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was pretty dumb the whole time and didn't realize what was happening. It seemed like it was really happening and I was conscious, but I didn't think at the time that I was having a near death experience.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I guess time lost all meaning but the life 'video tape' was fast.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Vision was normal during the tunnel. But after we opened the door, it was whiter, but not in an uncomfortable or glaring way. The relatives were in two sets of holograms within the white light. White surrounded the Being too.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I'm not sure if the conversations with my relatives were actually words spoken or just exchanges of thoughts between my relatives and myself.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The white corridor was like a long tunnel that had turns and straight sections. I had to walk through the corridor, and was escorted by a spiritual support person.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my maternal grandfather, paternal grandfather, and a man who was identified as my paternal grandmother's father (great grandfather). I think there were a few other faces who were presumed to be my ancestors also. All were deceased at the time of my NDE.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes White but not glaring
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw white and holograms of deceased ancestors.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt happiness and awe. I felt loved, special, and important. I also felt torn between seeing my baby and staying in the lovely place.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I recalled non-descript days from my childhood that I had forgotten, but can since remember.
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I saw two little dark-haired girls from the back. They were in summer dresses and swinging on a swing set. The Being said that these were my daughters and they were not twins. I can't recall the same day in real life when my daughters wore the same dress or were on the same swing set. I can't recall the design of the dresses from the vision.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes There was a gate that I wasn't to go in, but the Being was going to make that decision about whether or not I could enter.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience The Being was before what could've been the gates to heaven, and may have been a Being acting for God.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I can't really remember what the being looked like. Maybe it was Jesus or maybe not?
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain Not sure, I can't recall. Experience was 14 years ago.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain Only as described
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain The Being may have been from God or might have been Jesus.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Uncertain I never saw what was behind the gate, but if my dead relatives were there, then I think it's possible that there's life after death.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Not compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I have recalled more forgotten memories, both good and bad. I have had more experiences that are spiritual.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I can't remember all of the details of what was said to me in the tunnel. I can't explain the sense of warmness and happiness when I opened the door and saw my relatives. I wanted to stay.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember that in more detail than the actual Cesarean, but there are still gaps in my memory. I can't remember if I talked to Jesus or not. I may have.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have had visions where I seemed to talk to angels but I was either intoxicated or half-asleep so I'm not sure.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The tunnel with the support lady and the opening of the door and seeing my dead relatives were significant. I feel guilty that I was so selfish that I was willing to leave my newborn baby to be in the happy place. Now I know that if I had stayed in that place, which my beautiful youngest daughter would not have been born and that would have been a tragedy, as, she is a really special person.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was at least 10 years. It took me a very long time to recall that experience and identify it as being a near death experience. Others dismissed my experience, and they acted as if I was lying and making up a story just to get attention. My husband was furious with me that I was willing to leave him alone with the baby. He told me that he definitely would not have been okay without me. (As I said, I wanted to leave him with the baby and stay in the happy place).
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes TV shows
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real I was so busy with the newborn that I didn't even think about it. I may have thought it was just a dream.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I watched a TV show that had all the same aspects of my near death experience, which made me think it was more than a dream because the similarities were uncanny. Also, the fact that I was told by the Being, that I would have two girls and that came true.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No, all is good.