Before the experience, I had been huffing gas regularly for one year. After my first near death experience in 2010, I quit for three months. I picked up the habit again and finally I had another near death experience. I then quit for a whole year in 2011. I had two more and finally quit for good in 2013. During the first experience, I found myself slowly drifting out of consciousness until I was completely in a void of darkness. I had no sense of time or space. I watched as a bright light came out of the darkness toward me. I joined with the light. Then I became conscious and found myself on the ground.The second near death experience built upon the first. This time, after I had joined with the light, I noticed how everything came to be. There was nothing in the void. All of a sudden, the light was created from the void. Then I came back to consciousness, lying in my bed, and not knowing how I had got there. The third experience built upon the other two. I found myself alone in the darkness. I was the one particle of light in the void. I became lonely and bored, so I split myself into two parts. Then I split into four parts, then eight parts, and then sixteen parts. I kept doubling myself, repeatedly, until I became everything and everyone. I came back to consciousness from being passed out in the driveway.The fourth and final time I had passed out on one side of my body. I was still awake on the other half. I was dead but awake. My vision on one side had been turned to the void. I could think on one side of my brain but was dead on the other side. I physically walked through the door of the house on one side, but on the other side of my body, I felt as if though I had traveled through space and time. I felt that I would never be able to return to my body. Then the live half of me took over the void. I became one again. I was dead but alive at the same time. Later, I tried to commit suicide. Everything went black. No light had appeared. There was pure darkness. I came back to consciousness two days later at home. I did not know what had happened before or after I tried to commit suicide. Apparently, I was awake and talking to people. I don't remember anything like that happening. I don't remember any events that happened two days prior or after.
Date NDE Occurred: 2010-2013
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Other: Passed out huffing gas and stopped breathing
My brain had been starved of oxygen and I was about to die from hypoxia.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw the end of all time and it was so pointless. It didn't have an effect on anything, it was so pointless. I laughed.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal During this time I was not just me. I was everyone and everything. I do not know who or what or how and I don't remember every detail. I knew everything and I laughed every time I came back to consciousness. I was saying to myself, I understand. I finally get it. Then I would forget what I had finally understood but it was so simple and pointless, it was funny.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I became everyone and everything.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time in the void. Then the light came and time went slow. And it speed up faster and faster until I came to.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was as if I saw everything on a smaller scale or a smaller level.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was like internal dialog.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I passed from the void into the light and became one with the light.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was the light I passed into.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw a place where two lines one on top and one on bottom interacted with each other and divided into separate beings.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Euphoria.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I knew everything.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future The world had ended and no one laughed but me. I was spared and began where I had left off at.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was a devout catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I no longer attend a church.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I got re-baptized after 4 nde's from huffing gas and one from a suicide attempt
due to a major change in my beliefs i became undecided
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience What i came to believe was so different than what i had previously believed that i changed my believes to solipsism and later left behind solipsism and made my own believes
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe we are all God.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I heard a voice I could not identify as my own or someone else's.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain previous to all these event before i became a catholic i saw Jesus but during the actual event i have no idea if i did not
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I existed before this life and will continue to exist after this life
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes yes all is one and all is nothing
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists┬
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes God does exist but he is everyone we are all God we are created of him without him we would not be made God exist we are all God
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was told I must live amongst the darkness to bring light.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes to worship God God being yourself and everyone else love your neighbor as yourself do onto others as you would have them do onto you what so ever you do to the leas of my people that so you do unto me
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes i found that after you die you start back where you left off and that in other reality's you die but only to those still livening
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes there has to be balance Good evil right wrong in actuality there is no devil it is all made of God but everything has to be balance in order to survive
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes to love another is to love yourself and come to terms with yourself
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Nightmares of being haunted in my sleep while consciously dreaming.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is hard to put it into words rather than glimpses of thoughts and images in my head.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have conscious dreams now when I'm asleep.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? In the end it is all meaningless. We as humans have been created in our own image. We are God split into separate beings.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes They all deny the possibility of my account and say such a thing is impossible. They all say you cannot make something from nothing. When I tell them that the light came from the darkness they do not comprehend it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was so real I could not pass it off as fake.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real My experience was real and I have affirmed my beliefs though everything spanning from religion to science to physics and so forth. It all says the same thing. All is one and it keeps expanding but is still the same thing it was in the beginning
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I have had things relayed in my dreams.
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