In the middle of my surgery I woke up, looked at the doctor and told him that what he was doing hurt. He told me they would be done shortly and then realized I had woken from anesthesia, I remember they were talking about golf. He started ordering more anesthesia then I remember hearing my heart monitor beeping. The nurses started saying they were losing me and asking me to stay with them then 'beep, beep, beeeeepp'.
Next thing I knew, I was standing over the doctor watching them work on me, I wasn't scared I was fascinated. I could see everyone. I knew they were working on me, they seemed extremely hurried, and I remember it amused me because I was no longer in pain. I remember being pulled backwards and when I turned I was in an earthy tunnel and a door was before me that opened into a spectacular light. The light was brilliant, but it did not hurt! As I passed into it, it glowed with warmth, love, knowledge, and understanding. Not just my own knowledge but knowledge of everything. I had complete understanding, collective but separate. Everything made sense. Everything was more vivid, the colors were brighter and deeper, everything was tranquil and at peace the moment I crossed into the light.
I was now standing in a lush rolling meadow, covered with blooms and trees. I felt a presence strong and even more wonderful; I knew my family was with me. The presence had a deep resonating voice that touched the core of your soul. I don't remember what the voice told me, but the peace and calm seemed to magnify. I remember sitting in the meadow, I was cradling something in my arms, asking to cross a small free flowing stream, and not being allowed, I asked to stay. I did not want to go back. I knew the peace, warmth and light could not follow me back. I tried to walk toward the stream, but then I was being pulled down and backwards through the door. I remember leaving the warm glow of the light and being filled with immense sadness as all of the knowledge and peace left me, my senses dimmed, and my vision seemed muddied compared to the brilliant vibrancy of the meadow. I was angry, mad. I felt the air being knocked out of me as I hit my body and the pain returned.
I remember the nurse saying she's back and I started sobbing telling them I didn't want to come back, begging for them to send me back to the light. The nurse just kept saying stay with us. Don't close your eyes just stay with us, and she was holding my hand. When I think about it I am filled with an extreme since of grief and loss but I know that I will be returning someday and then they will let me cross the stream.
Date NDE Occurred: 04-19-2000
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related Gallbladder surgery. Other 'I have died 2 times at birth I was dead for 8 min & when I was 19 I Had gallbladder surgery & died on table not sure how long I was gone. I don't remember much from the first, So I will discuss the second.'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I passed through the light.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I passed through the light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time seemed endless. It didn't matter to hurry or rush, there was no need.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was clear, colors were vibrant, alive, deeper and brighter.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I remember just knowing the voice I heard was penetrating, but the knowledge of the universe felt shared. I could feel my family's thoughts.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I felt like I knew everything would be okay and I am more patient know, I have a better understanding of people and their needs and fears.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future See answer to 'psychic' question.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes They wouldn't allow me to cross, I knew that if I crossed I would stay there.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate none
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am more open minded.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'I believe everyone is basically trying for the same thing, there are just different ways to get there.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am more open minded.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have learned to be more patient with people, because I know that while here we all have a limited understanding.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is extremely difficult to express the warmth, comfort, love, and profound knowledge. There aren't enough descriptors in the English language that would ever truly be able to convey the depth or vibrancy.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I sometimes have dreams in which I feel a hint of the warmth for the light and most times those dreams come to pass, but some of them have been months away. I will tell my husband and then remind him when it is happening and he can relay what I had originally told him and when. I seem to know more about people than they would normally let any stranger know, I have a deeper understanding of what life is supposed to teach.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My family didn't believe me until I had told them about a few dreams I had had where there had been family turmoil and I had not been privy to any of that knowledge. I told them what the problems were and the different paths they had in life. I also told them that passed loved ones were watching and there with them whatever their decision. It scared them. I also know when people close to me have passed or are going to pass, before anyone calls to tell me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No