Kevin E NDE

Experience Description

I was approximately 3 years old when this event occurred. It was either 1973 or 1974, although I am unsure of the exact date, due to my age at the time, and the fact that this was not, years later, a big deal in the family history. Our family lived in a small, cramped apartment while my father attended Indiana University. My parents were religious Baptist from the Deep South. While I had attended church up to 3 years old, I clearly had not formed any set of beliefs, and what occurred was perplexing to me for years after the event, trying to place it within a religious context. I do not exactly remember everything crystal clear, as adult NDErs often do.

My brother and I roomed together with our beds on opposite sides of the room. I had one of those old rocking chairs, which had vinyl on the seats and sharp points on the end of the rocker. At some point in the night, I fell off my bed, onto the sharp, slightly curved-upward, wooden 'leg' of the rocker. I believe I landed on this, probably around my temple.

As soon as I fell off the bed, I saw myself HIT the rocker and was thinking, 'That's going to really hurt'. Immediately, things became surreal. The door to our room opened and a brilliant light came forth, with a woman (angel?), coming in to cradle me in her arms. The light filled the entire room and I could feel her sweetness and love. She was dressed in either brown or gray, quite simply and had long brown hair and brown eyes, full of love.

Back to reality, my brother had alerted my parents that I was lying injured on the floor. My brother told me later I screamed when I fell.

This woman, I'll call her an 'angel', took me up through the roof of the large/tall apartment complex and through space. I do not recall the time elapsing, but we 'floated' to the hospital, where I recall seeing myself from above on the operating table. I observed that I was placed on the table, with this triangular type blanket/restraining cloth over me. The cloth went from the left side of my body to my right side, but did not cover my right upper shoulder. It was a triangular cloth that instead of a rectangular blanket that goes all the way up both shoulders to the neck if placed correctly. I believe I had a strap across the top of my head. My understanding at the time was that this was to keep me restrained while they put in stitches.

She and I stared at my little body. I don't think I initially understood it was ME that was lying there. Then instantly, I zapped to the right side of my body and saw the injury/blood, bruising to my head. I do not recall her saying anything or even being with me from that point forward. I recall seeing my dad outside the room, in a waiting area, getting something like a coffee from one of those old 60's looking vending machines, the kind that sell coffee, or cigarettes.

Then I recall being 'banged' back into my body and seeing and feeling my father tickling my exposed toes at the foot of my 'bed,' operating table, or whatever it was. I woke up and was very annoyed that I could not move and he was tickling me. I couldn't help but laugh.

I could not explain what had happened, I did not see GOD or Jesus or learn any special knowledge, AT THAT POINT. After the accident, I would tell my family that a female angel had taken me to the hospital, and they were very perplexed. This is way before Raymond Moody's book had come out, so I probably just sounded like a confused child (I was the youngest). I INSISTED that I had been saved/taken by a female who reminded me of my pre-school teacher, as that was my only reference at that time. They kept telling me I was very confused, that NO WOMAN had been present, and that my father had taken me to the hospital, no one else.

For a few years after this event, I would have visions of having lived before, and would actually SEE two women above me, talking about my death, as though it had been in war. They were dressed in 1940's type clothing. Years later I would learn my uncle had been killed in a battle in Korea on Oct. 21, 1950 (187th Airborne); and I began to wonder if I was him or was somehow connected. While still a child, growing up, I continually asked my older brother about the event of my falling. I also continued to ask generally, where I had come from, as I did not feel like I was from this time, but had lived before. He was about 7 years older than me, and kept assuring me that I was born from our mom and dad.

I would also feel a constant struggle in my head, between good and evil (which is sometimes a symptom of psychosis), like demons and angels were fighting over my soul. I was positive I had lived before and was granted this life as a do-over and somebody or some THING(S) was fighting over my very soul. I never resolved those questions of why I thought I had lived before, what the event meant, who the woman was, or anything else.

Then years later, as an early teen or pre-teen, my father had become a psychologist, and I saw a book called, 'LIFE AFTER LIFE' by Raymond Moody. I read it cover-to-cover and started to realize what I had was an NDE and I wasn't alone. I then started a religious quest of writing off to the Rosicrucian's, reading Dianetics, the Bible (more seriously) and everything else, trying to figure out what all the answers were, because I didn't get any special knowledge during my NDE. As the years went by, I started to have 'visions,' which are hard to explain, of things happening before they happen, such as my best friend being killed in a plane crash. I knew of it the last time I saw him, that something was about to happen. I had dreams of particular events, and was very troubled, all while going on with life, joining the military, getting my degree, getting married, divorced, having kids. BUT I always felt the presence of this woman (angel) in my life, even though I sometimes did evil things.

Around the age of 30, and up until this day (now 43), about every five years, I hear my name called aloud by her and/or I feel the presence of something 'neutral' in my life, like an observer. No special information is passed on; it seems to be more of a reminder. On a couple of occasions, I have literally felt evil following me, but usually I feel just her, observing me, letting me make mistakes. Mostly, I feel 'good' vibrations about things or people, but sometimes, I can feel, sense actual EVIL in people, like a dog that knows someone's personality once he sniffs them. I am very attuned to what people are inside, and often can tell if they are very troubled, or conversely, if they are very happy and spiritual. It's a non-judgmental thing, and I do not feel like I can necessarily assist them, other than being nice and loving.

About a year or two ago, I began to have very premonitory dreams, or 'feelings' (it's hard to describe) of events yet to unfold. I was standing in the kitchen one night, and had an OVERWHELMING sense of doom and sadness regarding a co-worker in another state that I did not know well. I KNEW he was going to die, and that a decision had been made that it was his time. This was a Wednesday night. On Friday, I learned he had shot himself on Thursday. To this DAY, I believe that at the moment, Wednesday, when I felt that feeling, like it passed before my very eyes (as a 'feeling', as I stood in the kitchen), THAT is when he decided he was going to end his life, at work. He did so the following morning. The moment I felt it, that sadness, is exactly, when in some quantum way, he had decided to do it. It was written in the book of life so to speak. It was his time.

There were other things since childhood like this, too many to note, most of them petty, but all of them seem to arise from my time away from my body, simply being a 'soul'. I converted to Islam before September 11, 2001, and for the next few years tried to make sense of the three great religions, and simply realized that the Sufi path, which incorporates the teachings of all prophets (as part of Islam's overall belief system) and enunciates the teachings of Isa (Jesus) is best for me. I don't claim to know all the answers, but I merge all three religious traditions into the Sufi path, and work to follow the Ten Commandments and the word of GOD (Allah) in my daily life, imperfectly as I do. I am not a good Muslim, but I was not a good Christian either, instead I am a work in progress. I believe we all have two paths in life we can go down, one of evil and one of love and goodness, and I try to do the latter every day, as hard as it is. I have had dreams of HELL, and even saw what can go on there (as with Saddam Hussein) and that hell is a place that you wouldn't even want your worst enemy to go.

I hope that I see this angel again someday, and that I can make sense of it all. I hope she explains it all to me, but until then, I know I do not have all the answers, and that religion, as expressed today, doesn't capture the essence of GOD (Allah) or His prophets. To me, Isa/Jesus (peace be upon him) is basically an avatar sent by Allah, and we are all in some sort of simulation, where we are TESTED as to our hearts.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1973

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Other: Most likely knocked unconscious, perhaps dead for a few seconds/minutes. Knocked out cold, possible head injury/trauma.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes My Angel and brilliant light. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Floating in the hospital above my body

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see everything as it was, not as we see with our eyes.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I do not recall hearing anything.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No I seemed to develop a special knowledge or understanding of my dead uncle. My mother loved him dearly and he died when she was 6 years old.

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Brilliant, warm, loving light that filled the entire bedroom.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place Floating above the physical world, on the way to the hospital, although it was not heavenly, it was like another dimension

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, separateness from this world. Since that time: the same thing. I also feel like I am constantly being tested for my fitness into Heaven.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I seemed to understand that what happened to me was 'normal' and was as it should be, and that my falling and injuring myself, was part of a greater, and accepted scheme of things. I did not receive the often talked about, 'download' or anything. It seemed I was given the information in a way that a child, which I was at the time, could understand.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No Although later, I have had dreams that the United States will be covered in a volcano, and there will be massive riots and wars.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I realized I had to go back into my body.

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant Was raised in Christian home, now Sufi (Islam). Event occurred at age 3, prior to intellectual formation of religious beliefs, but would later shape questions that remained after event, and context to what occurred.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am Sufi Muslim because I believe Christianity is too limiting to humans. Isa/Jesus taught that we are to pray to GOD (Allah), the father, not to him or others. He taught the two most important things were to: 1) Love GOD with all your hearts, 2) Love your neighbor the same.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Muslim Converted to spiritual Islam (Sufism) in my 30s, but have attended Church, Synagogue and Mosque as part of religious/spiritual path.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Can only really speak to what I learned AFTER the age of 3, at the time of the accident. It definitely does not align with modern Christian thought, but more like Sufism and Islam. There is only ONE GOD--Allah (swt)--and we are all accountable for all we do, and will be judged once we stand before Him.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Others see Jesus, including non-Christians. Some Christians do NOT see Jesus, no one ever sees Muhammad, which makes sense, since worshipping God/Allah, is NOT about a man or person or created thing. I saw and experienced a female angel. Because of this, I believe that there is only one GOD. GOD and all His prophets are important and part of the larger scheme of things.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Female Angel.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No But later visions seemed to indicate past knowledge of two women, talking about someone who had died. I believe they were referring to my uncle, and were talking about it in terms of "how sad", as if they were cousins or related to my mom, but not as mou

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain Still not sure, but think I did, which does not really correlate to Abrahamic religions. See above narrative.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Yes, we are ALL connected, and all part of one body, coming from the Creator/Allah.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes GOD exists, and we can never truly know or understand Him, which is why we have Angels, or if you are Christian, Jesus, who was like an Avatar sent to our realm, as with all the prophets, so we could relate to GOD (Allah, swt).

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I don't like acting like I 'get it' all, and have some knowledge over others, but in a way yes. I think EVERYONE has the potential to know and understand their own purpose. Any variety of events in their life can bring this to the forefront, from having a baby and seeing your child for the first time, to a beautiful day where you see the trees, flowers and feel the breeze, almost like it's in 4-Dimensions. You FEEL GOD right there, all around. It's THOSE times you know your purpose, and that love is the key, and you remember those times when things are dark.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes LOVE. Obedience to Allah's word

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I am certain that there is life after death and that we all, individually experience our own realm--nothing like this world (as the Prophet Muhammad [saws] noted, it will be different) and like Isa/Jesus (peace be upon him), said, "In my Father's mansion,

Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain I am not certain that any ONE religion is the ONE path for anyone, despite how contradictory that is. I believe that, spiritually, we are all assigned different vibrations, and that we are all designed to love each other and fight the evil within us. Our lives are

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Seemed to understand that we are not meant to always be happy, but that accidents, like mine, serve a purpose, for all humankind, even as small as we feel or as insignificant as we believe we are, just being nice to a person passing on the street, and lov

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes LOVE is all there is. WHen we don't feel it, we lose part of our spiritual strength and when we don't give it, we weaken and lose our focus. If everyone LOVED as best they can, we would be like a human-powered love machine, bringing about the natural en

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Moderate changes in my life. Since I was so young, I cannot accurately relate what exactly my beliefs were at the age of 3, but I do know that I believed in GOD and felt His presence in the world as a reality.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I saw both the good and bad in myself since that time, as I knew I would, and I have hurt others and at other times, been good to others. Life is a constant forward progression and I suspect that the day I have learned all that I am supposed to, to love, appreciate others, is the day Allah will take my life from me, and I will stand in judgment over ALL I have done in my life.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I cannot explain how confusing it was, because as a child, I had no frame of reference for what was happening or where I was.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Premonitions through feelings during the day, also dreams. When I was growing up, my sister and mother also seemed to demonstrate this on minor levels.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Knowing that we can be lifted from our bodies and experience ourselves in our souls.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Very few. I tried to explain to my dad, but because he knew I was so young at the time, he probably chalked up as a kid's imagination.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I did not put it all together until about ten years later, as a teen, when I stumbled upon Moody's LIFE AFTER LIFE.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I was always trying to figure it out. It was definitely real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain I have felt a bit 'other worldly' at times, but cannot exactly say how or why. Comes out of nowhere, where I have that instant recognition that this life is a gift and that we are all actors in this giant, universal, divine script.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have thought for years about writing this experience down. I've read this website and others for a long time and made NDEs a part of my life, trying to reconcile what happened to me (then, and since) with other peoples. I realize that while I did not have all the same elements, I definitely went to the 'other side' and experienced something special and unique. I know someday I will go back. I have no idea why some people 'see' what they see or experience what they experience. Some see Jesus, some don't, some dead relatives, some not, some a cathedral, some a river. It's ALL real, but it is our own quantum reality we experience.