The following are short writings and posts to like-minded friends. Together they will present a good picture of the event and aftereffects.
The Color Yellow - by Ken
I have been home for the past three weeks recovering from a bout with prostrate cancer and I feel sad. This morning I went outside in the yard and noticed some very tiny bright yellow flowers poking up through the grass. The color yellow has a special meaning to me. When I was five and my sister was four, we contracted spinal meningitis from a little girl at Sunday school. My mother was a registered nurse and my father was self- employed. My sister and I were very ill and we were taken to a local hospital. I remember all our toys and personal things were burned. I remember being covered in ice to bring down the fever. Most of all I remember the color yellow. Years later while my mother was hugging me she told me that they had almost lost me.
Afterward I developed a strange ability. I would lie on my bed and see what appeared to be bright shiny soap bubbles coming from my skin. They would flow across my bed and down to the floor. The bubbles were very fluid and flowed across the floor and throughout the house. If someone touched them, I could tell whom they were, where they were and what they were. At first, I told people about them and proved that I could indeed do the very thing I told them about. Everyone thought that was interesting then the fear set in and I learned not to speak of such things.
By then a number of other strange things began to happen. I was in extremely good health and a very happy person. I had been competing in the martial arts for a number of years and was a vegetarian. I was one of those rare people who never got ill, not even the flu. But one day I got sick and had to locate a doctor. The doctor told me I had the flu and gave me a prescription telling me I would feel better in a week. A week later I was much sicker and when I went back to the doctor he had sold his practice and retired. The doctor who had taken his place told me the same thing the first one had and gave me another prescription. Another week passed and I felt much worse. I called a doctors referral service and asked for someone not too far out of medical school feeling they might be more in tune with the current state of the art.
The new doctor told me he felt I was having some sort of allergic reaction and wanted me to check into a local hospital. At that time I had a struggling company and no health insurance. That evening I knew something was seriously wrong and I was rushed to the hospital. I went into respiratory arrest followed by cardiac arrest and was told I had been clinically dead for seven minutes. It turned out I had an allergic reaction to a pet cat.
Afterward I begin to bi-locate, 'shift my conscious to a location other than the location I was in' with enhanced senses. I was seeing outside the normal human spectrum, hearing people speaking blocks away and watching the rain fall through my arms. I have always been drug free and I had no idea what was happening to me. Over the years it got worse and I began to be able to look at people and see the real person not just their body. My ability to think went through the roof and I began literally dreaming new technology. I founded a number of companies based on the technology I patented. By then things were getting out of control and I went to a place called the Monroe Institute. I was very fortunate to find people who taught me how to ground out and lead a normal life.
About three years ago I reached a point where I became aware that I was very loved. I would wake up in the morning after feeling myself being kissed on the cheek. I began having days on end where I was spontaneously happy. People around me reacted in a positive manner and life became good. Things literally got brighter. It was like the light level had been turned up. I noticed my vision was crisper, colors were stronger. I felt on the verge of something wonderful. Then I did something that I am very ashamed of. I let myself get caught up in things that didn't matter. I couldn't understand why other people couldn't seem to grasp concepts or see what to me were obvious solutions to problems. I lost my focus and things began falling apart. I believe I caused cancer in myself in order to get myself back on track. There is so much more to what happened than I am telling here. Things are getting better now. I am able to see the beauty in life once again. I feel strongly I should tell others to not make the same mistakes I have. I need to know that the next time I go into the light I made a difference.
When we were young we lived in a one hundred and twenty-five year old barn that had been converted into a house. One winter evening we invited friends over and one of them got too drunk to drive home. My sister-in-law was living with us at the time and slept on a couch in the living room. We got some pillows and a blanket out for the friend and he fell asleep on the living room floor.
My wife and I went upstairs to bed and begin to fall asleep. I was a health nut at that stage in my life. I had been an intense practitioner of the martial arts for years and had reflexes like a cat. I was a vegetarian and not involved with drugs. For a number of years prior to that when I would lie down and relax I would reach a stage where I would see what appeared to be bright shiny soap bubbles rapidly flowing from the skin of my entire body across the bed and floor and throughout the house. I called it foaming. When something touched the foam I knew what they were, who they were and where they were. I used to prove it to people and everyone thought it was cool for a while then they begin to get scared so I stopped talking about it.
That night as my wife and I were lying on the bed I closed my eyes and a few minutes later I heard a loud scream. I have always had incredible night vision and the bedroom was well lit from the moon shining through the window. My eyes snapped open and I saw what appeared to be a totally black oval the size of a short man standing at the foot of the bed. My wife was sitting up screaming as something violently bounced. She stopped in mid-scream as I jerked upright. I felt something pushing on my chest forcing me back into the bed and I begin to lose consciousness. I foamed and as the foam touched the oval I felt it startle and for a moment I no longer had the pressure on my chest. I came out of the bed so fast that the covers went flying and my wife was knocked to the floor.
Without thinking I lunged after the oval which was rapidly moving through the hall and down the stairs to the living room with me in pursuit. I felt intense cold as I entered the living room and noticed the front door was standing open. The house was warped and the two-inch thick solid oak front door was jammed in its frame and hadn't been opened in years. I remember wondering if I had just had my first nightmare as I went down into the basement and picked up a large rubber mallet which I used to pound the door closed. My sister-in-law and friend were fast asleep and the noise I was making didn't wake them. When I went back upstairs I picked my wife up off the floor, placed her on the bed, and pulled the covers over her. The next morning I started to tell her what had happened and she quickly stopped me and told me she had dreamed about seeing a black oval at the foot of the bed and when she sat up, she felt something hitting her in the chest and that that was all she remembered.
We went downstairs and noticed that my friend had gotten up and gone home. My sister-in-law was having breakfast and proceeded to tell us that she had dreamed she heard screaming and banging coming from our bed room and that I had chased a black oval down the stairs, which went out through the front door. I don't know what really happened all I know is that after that I lost the ability to foam. Now years later it has returned in a much more mature form which I have only occasionally been able to invoke.
Flat white field locator:
After much practice, I found I could best enter a hypnogogic state when I felt sunlight on my face. A few years ago, the ability to locate things reappeared. I was in a crowd of thousands of people covering some seventy acres when I became separated from the person I was with. I closed my eyes and relaxed emptying my mind of all thought. All that was left was the desire to locate that person. In my mind, I saw a three hundred and sixty degree view of a flat white field extending in all directions. There was a depression in the field. I opened my eyes and walked in that direction right to the person I was looking for. That occurred again later.
A PEM [Privacy Enhanced Mail] to a friend whose husband was dying of cancer written just before I went into the hospital for my cancer operation.
Just as I chose the name Wind Walker for the way I feel when I play the flute I chose two forms of visualizing myself when attempting bi-location. Both forms started out as a means of self-protection and projections of personal power. I used to compete in the martial arts and during that time, I learned many things about myself. I learned to fight for what's right, to be proud of my brothers and sisters and to express myself without fearing the thoughts or actions of others. While I still use both forms of visualization for protection, one of them I use when there is going to be a fight.
Please tell Joe that the Big Black Panther with the green eyes is there to stand with him. We have a small army with us and more on the way. We're camping out in the far corner near the ceiling and we'll all be there and ready when the time comes. We'll make sure no one bothers the dolphins and healers. We're prepared to put up a hell of a fight but if you decide its time to go don't worry I've been in the light. It's wonderful... You don't leave anyone behind everyone is there to greet you.
I have always liked to think and now finally I find I like to feel as well:
I have always liked to think and now finally I find I like to feel as well. When I was young, it was a time filled with exploration. I covered most of the sciences and begin to gain an understanding of my world. In my late teens, I entered a warrior phase like many other young men. Fortunately, I survived without permanent injury gaining respect, discipline, and self-worth along the way.
Meditation and Near Death Experiences opened my eyes to things I had never even dreamed of. I have always been gifted with the ability to see the whole from some of its parts. I begin asking questions and seeking answers. I researched and trained with dogged determination. Having no fear of the opinions of others I spoke openly and found many willing to talk to one willing to listen. I begin to feel a connection with something greater then I. I became acutely aware of the beauty in life. I felt happy and loved then managed to push all aside over things that didn't matter.
With everything I am I decided I wanted the connection, the happiness and the love back at all costs. I feel the cost is my current illness. I have no fear and I feel I have gained that which I sought.
A series of events:
It's Friday and I'm killing a little time this morning before getting serious about what I have to do for the rest of the day. I have just seen your site for the first time. I want to tell you about three experiences I've had over the years. Approximately twenty-eight years ago, my wife and I were spending a Sunday morning meditating in a Zen meditation hall we helped to build in Northern Kentucky. At the time, we were both heavily involved in the martial arts, vegetarians, in excellent health and did not use drugs of any kind. We normally meditated for about an hour then stretched and meditated again for another hour or so before going on with the rest of the day's activities. Near the end of the second meditation period I was listening to rain falling on the tin roof of the meditation hall when suddenly I was in the air outside the hall about three feet off the ground rotating slowly. I could see beyond the normal human spectrum into the infrared and ultraviolet, hear people talking blocks away and watch as the rain fell through my arms. It lasted about forty-five seconds then I was back in the hall.
After meditation, my wife and I were driving to an old friend's house who was a nationally known artist. After relating my story she told me that she had been standing in the air outside a third story window watching our friend paint a new painting. She described it in great detail. Upon arriving at our friend's location and being invited in, we were shown his latest work with the paint still very wet. It was exactly as described.
All my life I have been a lucid dreamer. When my wife and I were young, we lived in a one hundred and twenty-five year old barn that had been converted into a house. One winter evening we invited friends over and one of them got too drunk to drive home. My sister-in-law was living with us at the time and slept on a couch in the living room. We got some pillows and a blanket out for the friend and he fell asleep on the living room floor.
My wife and I went upstairs to bed and begin to fall asleep. I had been an intense practitioner of the martial arts for years and had reflexes like a cat. For a number of years prior to that when I would lie down and relax I would reach a stage where I would see what appeared to be bright shiny soap bubbles rapidly flowing from the skin of my entire body across the bed and floor and throughout the house. I called it foaming. When something touched the foam, I knew what they were, who they were and where they were. I used to prove it to people and everyone thought it was cool for a while then they begin to get scared so I stopped talking about it.
That night as my wife and I were lying on the bed, I closed my eyes and a few minutes later, I heard a loud scream. I have always had incredible night vision and the bedroom was well lit from the moon shining through the window. My eyes snapped open and I saw what appeared to be a totally black oval the size of a short man standing at the foot of the bed. My wife was sitting up screaming as something violently hit her in the chest pushing her back into the bed so hard that she bounced. She stopped in mid scream as I jerked upright. I felt something pushing on my chest forcing me back into the bed and I begin to lose consciousness. I foamed and as the foam touched the oval, I felt it startle and for a moment, I no longer had the pressure on my chest. I came out of the bed so fast that the covers went flying and my wife was knocked to the floor.
Without thinking, I lunged after the oval, which was rapidly moving through the hall and down the stairs to the living room with me in pursuit. I felt intense cold as I entered the living room and noticed the front door was standing open. The house was warped and the two-inch thick solid oak front door was jammed in its frame and hadn't been opened in years. I remember wondering if I had just had my first nightmare, as I went down into the basement and picked up a large rubber mallet, which I used to pound the door closed. My sister-in-law and friend were fast asleep and the noise I was making didn't wake them. When I went back upstairs I picked my wife up off the floor, placed her on the bed, and pulled the covers over her. The next morning I started to tell her what had happened. She quickly stopped me and told me she had dreamed about seeing a black oval at the foot of the bed and when she sat up, she felt something hitting her in the chest and that that was all she remembered.
We went downstairs and noticed that my friend had gotten up and gone home. My sister-in-law was having breakfast and proceeded to tell us that she had dreamed she heard screaming and banging coming from our bed room and that I had chased a black oval down the stairs, which went out through the front door. I don't know what really happened all I know is that after that I lost the ability to foam. Now years later it has returned in a much more mature form, which I have only occasionally been able to invoke.
Over the years, I have died twice. The last time I went into respiratory and cardiac arrest for seven minutes (allergic reaction to a pet cat). Each time has been followed by years of strange interesting events. Two years ago, I experienced one of my favorite. It had become enjoyable for me to sit in a cold room with my eyes closed facing the sun through a window. I would feel the warmth of the sun on my skin and watch the patterns slowly drift by on the backs of my eyelids. After a while, I would see something and say to myself, 'Oh look there is a dog,' etc. It was much like looking at clouds and seeing things in them. Eventually there would be more and more detail until finally it would be as sharp as a good quality photograph. The first year I saw only landscapes filled with rock and sand. Then I would see water. Eventually cities came into view and I went through a period of seeing very advanced aircraft. One day I started to pop faces. I would see a face pop into place right in front of me and be fascinated by the detail. At times, the faces would move but most lasted no more than five to ten seconds only to be replaced by another. The faces were both male and female and some weren't human.
One day I was popping faces and suddenly I could feel a presence in front of me but there was no face. I said, 'Show me the face,' but nothing happened. Again I said, 'Show me the face,' and still nothing happened. I'm not sure why but the next thing I said was, 'Show me the stars,' and suddenly I was looking through someone else's eyes at a dense field of very bright stars. I felt I was much nearer the center of a galaxy and I felt extreme cold and caught a whiff of ammonia. It didn't last long then I was back feeling the presence in front of me once again with no face. I repeated the procedure stating, 'Show me the face.' I felt a sense of bemusement and saw nothing. Again I said, 'Show me the face,' and suddenly in front of me was a face that was so ugly it was beautiful. It kind of reminded me of a crab and I got an overwhelming feeling of intelligence, humor and kindness then it was gone.
I had an interesting experience this morning and I wrote this note while it was still fresh in my mind. Recently I've been making a sincere effort to maintain my health by eliminating bad habits, eating properly, exercising, meditating in the evening, listening to soothing music and resting. It is my attempt to bolster my immune system in the hopes it will enable me fight any cancer cells remaining in my body following the radiation therapy I am presently undergoing. While I have noticed after affects from the therapy, I feel that I am tolerating the treatment well and controlling my reaction to those aftereffects by maintaining a positive attitude.
This attitude is not a new state of mind for me rather one that I tend to loose under adverse circumstances. I am being encouraged by the loving support I have been receiving and in improvements in my self-image brought about by interacting with other people facing their own challenges in a caring way. At this point, I am aware of the changes in myself because of the shift from a less desirable state and the contrast between the two being fresh in my mind.
This morning I awoke and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and accomplish the myriad of other tasks that make up the start of my day. As is normal for me for a few minutes I feel a suspension of consciousness between the states of sleep and being awake. It appears to be a mild hypnogogic state. I am still able to maintain a connection between my waking mind and for want of a better word my subconscious. Subconscious is an inadequate term to describe the connection I feel. It's more along the lines of a connection to a greater self. In this state, it is not unusual for me to clearly and profoundly comprehend complex matters.
The events of the morning impacted me and that is the reason I wanted to share the experience. Depending on a combination of factors genetic makeup, environment, and belief systems etc. I believe every one of us capable of reaching levels of awareness far beyond what society may consider our normal state. For a few moments, I experienced what I feel to be another level. I have been quite happy with my current state and felt it was very possibly the best I could hope to accomplish this time around. I was amazed that I could even be aware of another level much less experience it however briefly. I was left with the strong impression that I need to focus on my current path. But that I needed to really live it all the time rather than drift in and out, as I appear to be doing. This may sound simplistic and I feel unable to adequately communicate the concept but to me it feels profound.
Along the way, I have learned we all have gifts or talents. It appears many of us reach a point where communicating concepts in our areas of specialty becomes so difficult that the listener may feel patronized and we become ineffective in our ability to be clearly understood. I feel I may have reached that point here and perhaps be ineffective in my communications. What do you think?
Date NDE Occurred: Approximately 30 years ago.
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Allergic reaction Clinical death
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes A point of consciousness.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Very good.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
After withdrawing from my body I sped up and as a result time slowed for me giving the appearance that everyone working on me was speaking and moving rapidly.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Because of that I knew what I was, why I had been in-body and I understood time.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I turned and I entered the light.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was offered a choice.
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light is love. It is our real home. There we realize the connection.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No Not at the time but later I did.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, shock, reflection, curiosity, relief, joy, love, understanding, disappointment.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I learned what I was, why I had been in-body, and where I was going.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I remember that everything was okay with one exception. I thought, 'What a fool I was to have spent the time I spent accumulating those things.' What was meant by that was that I needed to concentrate on the things that were important. I have succeeded in doing that.
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Possible highlights of my next two lives and choices I must make.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes When I was given the choice to go on or return.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I chose to return.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I became Spiritual.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes See main narrative.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? My death was scary and very uncomfortable. I remembered thinking, 'Man that really sucked.' I had a feeling that I had had a bad life and I was relived to be free of it. The best was the knowledge I gained.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Their reactions were generally very positive. I am well liked and respected so the events I related were well received. I have had and continue to have a very positive impact on other peoples' lives.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain My experiences at the Monroe Institute touched on an NDE.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There are other ways to gain the knowledge. I wouldn't recommend a near death experience to anyone for that purpose.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I had just about finished the form when all the information vanished.