For weeks I had been feeling painful tugging and cramping in my lower left abdomen. The cause was unknown. All pregnancy tests had been coming back negative, except for one blood-based test. The gynecology surgeon was sure, based on that test, that it was a tubular pregnancy. She wanted to operate immediately, as this situation had been going on for weeks. She and I discussed the surgery, and, since I had not eaten in the last 12 hours, she felt it was safe to take me into surgery right then and there. As I had never wanted children, I asked that she tie off the right tube, since she was already going to be removing the left tube, and possibly the ovary, as well. She and I got into a heated discussion over the topic. It ended with her saying that if I were twenty-four and had 4 kids, she would do so, but, 'Since you do not have children of your own, you really do not know what you are giving up.' I went under rather upset because she would not tie my tubes. The next thing I remember was flying over a large expanse of dark water, heading toward a green land. There was an entity flying to my right above and behind me, so that I could not see him. He told me that once I reached the Green Land (Island?) that I saw ahead; all my questions about everything would be answered. However, if I went there, I could never come back, nor could I ever communicate those answers to anyone still here on earth. We were just getting close enough to hear this wonderful music, when the entity said it was time for me to decide to go back or to go forward. I had just had the thought that my husband would not begrudge me this chance, when I was yanked back and slammed back into this world, with bright lights and pain. I remember saying 'I was not supposed to come back this time. Damn you all to hell.' The surgeon and anesthesiologist said it sounded like the true curse I had meant it to be. I could not remember who I was, where I was, or anything. It took me a couple of hours to put myself back together. To this day, I wish I had not been forced back here, and I am still very resentful over the situation.
Date NDE Occurred: January 1984
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related Life threatening event, but not clinical death
It was thought that I had a tubular pregnancy, so the surgery was unplanned, but not a life-threatening emergency.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Before going under anesthesia and during the experience.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I wore, and wear, glasses for near-sightedness. During my experience, I was not wearing glasses.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No difference.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It seemed to me that the passing over the 'dark body of water' to the 'land of green harmony' could be taken as being symbolic, rather than 'actual.' But at the time, I felt like I was going back to my real, innermost home.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, relaxation, no stress, no hurry.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain No one can go through something like this and not have some of their religious and spiritual beliefs and practices change at least a little bit.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Unknown
What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience At the time I was starting to become disillusioned and disappointed in mainstream religion and was starting to look at the belief systems of other countries and peoples.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes The right to die question now has a very personal meaning for me. I feel that we, the human race, are playing God just as much by keeping someone alive as by allowing someone to choose their own death and assisting in it.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain "All questions will be answered when you get to the land ahead" was all the answer I could get out of my guide unless the question dealt with my decision of to go or to stay
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain "All questions will be answered when you get to the land ahead" was all the answer I could get out of my guide unless the question dealt with my decision of to go or to stay
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain "All questions will be answered when you get to the land ahead" was all the answer I could get out of my guide unless the question dealt with my decision of to go or to stay
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No It was stated that I would have the true answers to all my questions, which implies that my 'life' would continue on.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain "All questions will be answered when you get to the land ahead" was all the answer I could get out of my guide unless the question dealt with my decision of to go or to stay
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Yes It was stated that I would have the true answers to all my questions which implies that my "life" would continue onward
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain "All questions will be answered when you get to the land ahead" was all the answer I could get out of my guide unless the question dealt with my decision of to go or to stay
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Not that I noticed or can recall but it has been a long time. Three years later, I moved out of the area.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Like most of my memories parts are like snap shot photographs especially the more emotionally charged ones.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with my husband within hours of me getting out of the recovery room. His was pissed that my right to choose had been taken from me. Other than that, he thought it was a very interesting event and accepted my word as fact.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No It happened. It was real. It was not a dream. At that time, I had been dreaming almost every night, and this was NOTHING like the dreams I had been having at that time. In fact, it was nothing like any dream I have ever had, before or since.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No
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