I was 15 years old during the first NDE and a strong believer in GOD. My spirituality made me an outcast as a youth. Therefore, I tried to go along with what everyone else was doing in order to be accepted by them. This led me to using drugs. At the time, many fake friends surrounded me. My mother was cheating on my father with my own boyfriend. My father would not believe me, though. My brother, who was an Emergency Medical Technician and Fireman, was living with us that year. He didn't like my mother for the things she was doing. I was greatly distressed that she would hurt my dad and me the way she did. It hurt me more that my father wouldn't believe me. She told him that I was jealous of her and just paranoid. Mom was playboy bunny material then. So, he believed her over me.
I had been haunted by spirits and able to astral project since the age of three, so what was about to happen did not surprise me. It was a warm summer day and my friend had brought a substantial amount of crack cocaine over. My mother knew I was using crack and she allowed it. Life was unbearable. We had been using the drug all night and into the early morning hours. I started getting sharp stabbing feelings in my chest and my breathing was slowed. The pain was agony as I fought to take each breath. I got up enough courage to get up to where my mother was sitting, while she was applying her make-up. Blood was coming out of my nose as I tried to breathe. ‘Mom, something is wrong!’ I said. She took a look at me and told me I was trying to get attention and to go lie down. Filled with inner-heart brokenness, I laid on the couch. I kept going in and out of consciousness.
It was like a bright, white light in a tunnel that kept pulling me toward it. I could hear my brother enter the room and tell mom that I was in cardiac arrest, respiratory distress, and that I didn't have much time. She told him that she wasn't going to any hospital until she finished her make-up. The conversation sounded so far away. Then I could hear nothing. I was floating along in this tunnel filled with a bright, white light. I couldn't see anyone because of the brightness but I knew someone was at the other end. I thought it was GOD. I told him, ‘Lord I am sorry for my sins but I'm not ready to die yet, I'll miss my mom’. Then I felt a love within me that I have never known before or since that time. I woke up in the hospital. They told me that if my brother hadn't rescued me that I would've been dead in minutes. The crack smoke caused bleeding in my lungs, collapsed my lung, and bumped into my heart before it collapsed.
Later, they put me in a youth crisis center to heal and get emotional help. Mom said she would visit, but didn't. So I called home. She was home with my boyfriend. Meanwhile, dad was at work and I was recovering in a hospital. I broke down. Later dad came to see me and I asked, 'Where's mom?' He didn't say anything. I added, 'How do you feel, knowing she was alone with my boyfriend all day?' He told me, 'Hurt, because when I got home early I caught them sleeping together.' If this near death experience never happened, my father would've never known the truth. Life would have been havoc because, I'm guessing, the affair would've continued. There were many things that happened after that, which led me to more drug abuse: to kill the pain, I guess. I overdosed once more 2 years back. I didn't see a light that time though. It was darkness and void. No one at the end of a tunnel, no hope, but definitely no pain either. These experiences changed my life. After this experience, I have gotten clean and given myself to GOD, which I should have done from the beginning. I learned that it doesn't matter if the people here accept you. It's if God accepts you, it is the only thing that counts. The next time I do die, for real, I want to see that light knowing: He's at the end to catch me instead of being lost in darkness. Thanks for letting me share.
Date NDE Occurred: 'JUNE 2, 1999 June 13, 2011'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Many traumatic changes, which would cause me a long lasting hurt, were occurring.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I could hear people talking.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I felt the highest level of consciousness when I became aware that I was indeed dead and in another time and place. I realized that I am one with the universe and that I am not a single entity but one entity belonging to a whole: part of something more.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was able to understand that I am a spirit in a body, not a body with a spirit. I saw that it's the spirit that's the reality.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything in the physical world seemed distant yet close: sort of being in another room listening to someone else's conversation.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place Just brilliant light, I saw no details.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt love, I felt fear, but I also felt oddly safe.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths I studied all of my life every religion known on earth and have decided that each one has a little truth in it. Therefore I have combined a bit of all of them together.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I no longer sin deliberately.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Combined beliefs from all religions.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes It felt as I had alwasy existed and would always exist. Eternal.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes We are all a part of a much bigger thing. Since I experienced both types of near death, the light, and the darkness, I believe some become a part of one ofr the other depending on their state of consciousness at the time.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes GOD was definitely there. I couldnt see him but knew he was guiding me. It was confirmed after I had asked him to send me back and then he did.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably existsÂ
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I had an inner knowing that if I hadnt made the conscious decision to return to life that I would become a part of another place and I am sure it is that way for others as well.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I became aware that whatever state our life is in and whatever state of consciousness we are in at the time (Difficulties or joy) determine where we will go.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt an overwhelming love. It was all encompassing. I knew I was important to someone non-physical.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life. I ended up having abilities that are more psychic: empathy, ability to communicate with animals and plants, Clairvoyance, clairsentience, prophetic dreaming, and oneness with spirit. I also have the gift of discernment.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes People think I am weird, due to the amount of spirituality I show and my psychic abilities. I am an outcast.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There were not enough words to express the feeling. If no one has ever experienced it, then they couldn't possibly understand.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My gifts include: Empathy, Clairaudience, clairsentience, clairvoyance, Mediumship, communication with animals and other life. The ability to astral project intentionally.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The reassurance that GOD is real and I matter to him.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had experienced astral projection, unintentional.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Whenever people question whether GOD exists I am taken back to the experience.