1st: Dentist OD'd me on nitrous oxide. ‘I first saw a purple skeleton, at the top of the room, sitting on a stool, with cowboy hat on, and strumming guitar, singing 'The Guitar Man' by Bread.’ It was amusing until I suddenly was up where he had been, alone, and watching the Dentist freak out trying to revive me. Before I knew anything else, I was back in my body.
2nd: I had a very high temperature and massive pelvic infection and was later told I was talking to ‘leprechauns’ before I ‘died’. That I do not recall. What I do recall, and can still recall, was finding myself in the blackest black, cold void, with a crushing feeling of being utterly alone, despair and loss. (It was not at all what I expected it to be as I was one of those little kids who grew up talking about ‘living before’ and had a very unorthodox view of religion from the earliest age.) There was no sense of anyone else being there, no light, vast nothingness and terrible. It seemed a short while, yet an eternity. I was physically taken up by a neighbor and taken to the hospital. The jostling revived me, as I was suddenly very happy to be back in my body & in pain.
3rd: This is all very vivid, even after all these years. I had gone out to the ranch to help lead a large group of people on a trail ride. It was a long day. We got home and I had a terrible need, a command really, to return. I bathed and put on clean clothes. I had to talk to my husband into going back. It was nearly 9pm. I told him I had to go, though I did not wish to. Of course, I know it was my destiny. We went back and a chain of events led me to giving a tour of our African lion prides. I was compelled into an area I never went and was attacked by a lioness that pulled me through a fence up to my shoulder.
Everything went into slow motion during the attack and I ‘split in two’ in that one part of me was conscious, the other was like a separate being, spiritual, but I knew it was my soul. After I was freed from the cage, I lost my ability to see anyone, just grey shadows on a sort of movie screen in front of me. People's feelings and fear (there were perhaps 20 to 30 people there) were palpable, and threatened to carry me away like a tide, if I gave into it. To the right, on that screen, was coolness and peace. To the left the panic and pain of those around me. One half of me kept telling those around how to treat me (I'm a former EMT & I recognized my voice) the other was fighting the desire to turn toward the right as I believed that if I succumbed, the ranch would be in a lot of trouble and perhaps even sold.
I sensed children there, their ‘shadows’ were more golden and I was ordering people to get them away from the spectacle. The ambulance finally arrived. I was still in this double state, telling them what to do, yet seeing nothing but those grey shadows and the emotions of everyone around. Then they said they could handle it and I thought I could then relax and as I did, I was sucked out of my body, tiny enough to still be in the ambulance and finally I could see like normal again.
I saw an EMT pounding on my chest, slapping my face, etc., & my brother-in-law in the front seat turn and gawk, and the shock on my husband's face. The ambulance was bouncing over dirt roads at high speeds and I thought ‘where are we?’ and was instantly above the ambulance seeing and recognizing how far from the city we still were. I recall thinking ‘Well, I'm dead, they can't get there in time.’ When I was sucked back into my body being slammed around on the gurney in that cramped ambulance. We got to hospital and there were no doctors around so it was again up to me to ‘hold on’. 4 hours later a surgeon arrived and I was taken into surgery. Just as I was wheeling past my brother-in-law, I heard him say the same lion had attacked a little girl earlier that day. I gave in then, thinking all was lost.
4th: I ‘died’ during surgery, was revived and in a coma for almost 2 weeks as they could not stabilize my blood pressure. I remember it so very clearly! The surgery death I saw the operating room and the surgeons but before I could think much more about it, I was swooshed into a place with 4 robed beings. No wings. There was Ethereal, beautiful, whiteness everywhere. They spoke without speaking. Like a chorus: ‘Suicide is wrong:’ ‘Love is all that matters:’ ‘Shun those who have killed themselves’ Over and over. I was aware of others there in this timeless space, but they were not the focus. It seemed I was there a very long time.
Now what no one on earth knew at the time: I was heavily into Sylvia Plath at the time, hated my father-in-law with a passion and was in fact suicidal, and had been trying to figure out a way to do it without it being obvious what it was. I was then taken to another place, like the most colorful park imaginable and allowed to see my most beloved grandfather - the only real love I had ever known - and ‘they’ let him stay with me during the entire coma period. It was splendid!
When I finally came to normal consciousness, my first remark was that grandfather had been with me the whole time. As the days passed and my husband’s family members were treating me like a loon or something, I started looking for earthly answers. I started asking if ANY man had been there that whole time. The answer was no, not even my husband or other family members, at least not for more than a few minutes at a time, and they did not talk to me even then.
Date NDE Occurred: 1974 & 1980 & 1986
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Allergic reaction 1st: Dentist od'd me on laughing gas
2nd: high fever & massive infection
3rd & 4th: Shock from lion attack Life threatening event, but not clinical death 1st: Dentist overdosed me on ‘laughing gas.’
2nd: Extremely high fever, infection.
3rd & 4th: shock more than blood loss.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? 1st: drugged. 2nd: high fever. 3rd: split alertness. 4th: surgery and coma.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Slow motion time and then it seemed as though actual years passed when in reality only 2 weeks had passed.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Clicking
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Yes, not like from a tunnel, was just suddenly there.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm White space then later, park like setting, peaceful, beautiful, vivid colors.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe love and compassion are the most important things in this and any other universe. We are all part of the whole, but we place ourselves under the laws of the dogma we select, thereby limiting our access to the ‘whole pie’ I therefore believe organized religion to be a bad thing for enlightenment.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will It was my choice up to a certain point then it was just done even though I did not want to return.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Strong belief in reincarnation & life after death prior to events. Belief in the creator but not in a Christian sort of way. Oneness of all things
What is your religion now? Liberal Strong belief in reincarnation & life after death prior to events. Belief in the creator but not in a Christian sort of way. Oneness of all things
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
I felt as I always had about life after death, reincarnation and etc. It was not a religious experience per say.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No I had them prior to experiences, and still do.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? 1: it was just ‘too cool’ for words.
2: It made me realize just how separate we all are in our individual bodies and how ‘hell’ is being separated from the all.
3 & 4: Seeing, talking, and hugging my dead grandfather. Worst: coming back.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes At first I tried to share what I was taught, after being treated like a loon for years afterwards I became passively suicidal. Still am.
They thought I was a loon. Later, when I got back around normal people, I never talked to them about it for fear of the same thing happening again.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I still have the unshakable belief in life after death that I talked about as a tiny child. However I have the feeling that ‘someone changed the rules on me’ when my parents divorced & my mom married a real jerk who has made my life hell (and still does.) Because I was three at the time, I was ‘told’ (by my over-self which I suppose most would call an angel) that I would have to live out this life anyway. I was been waiting for it to end ever since. (I have MS and a very painful spine, so living is not exactly pleasant.).
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I know what I went through is not what others describe, but there it is. I have gone through some odd experiences, which people tend to call alien encounters, but I've never talked about them and in fact don't know how to square them with my belief in the creator. (Prior being isolated my husband's family.) Maybe all of this is dimensional. I don't read any books or angel books or NDE books, or fiction for that matter. I came because I just learned about Jonathan B. killing himself and it made me think of all this for the first time in many years. I fear for him.