During sleep, I experienced a dream of feeling entirely encircled within a warm embrace, beyond anything possible on this earth. I did not want it to stop. I saw my father and some people behind him, who I think were my sister and grandmother. All had passed over.
A voice I didn't recognize said, 'If you want to go back, blow'. I guess I decided to go back, so I went to blow but to do so, I had to draw breath first (to be able to blow). I suppose this is when I started to breathe again.
The unconditional love in that embrace stayed with me for many weeks after. I don't feel it so much now. I just remember it was amazing and wonderful.
Date NDE Occurred: 2000
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Overweight - sleep apnea most likely due to overweight - stopped breathing during sleep
How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the whole time û I don't remember going in or coming out or a regular night's sleep.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My father seemed younger than I remembered him. Other people were not so clear û it was kind of grey and murky around them. But they were together and my father was in front and he was the last one to pass. They recognized me.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Same.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I don't remember anything about that. I just analyzed what happened afterward and figured it was sleep apnea due to being overweight at the time. Sometimes, back then, I would awaken during the night because I had not been breathing.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Great love during the embrace.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I only remembered the feeling of warm unconditioinal love and how unusual the words spoken to me "if you want to go back, blow". Prior to that I had not considered near death experiences, nor been religious.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I turned to religion because of suicidal thoughts.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify [as detailed in above narrative]
I remember, before this incident, the words 'You can go if you want to, but it will be hard' and I responded 'Yes, I want to go'. I believe this was my decision to come into my birth mother. Yes, it has been and is hard and I sometimes wonder why I agreed. I am in a lot of pain.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I remember during my life hearing the words spoken "You can go if you want to but it will be hard" and I replied "Yes, I want to go" As I read NDE's I realize we may exist before we are born here. I have always felt I was born into wrong family, like I
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Unknown
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life Perhaps I misbehaved in prior lives. I am a moral, honest, quiet, supportive soul, a mother of five, who has experienced much suffering in this life. I offer all suffering for souls. Some days I regret saying 'yes' [to be born into this earth life] but this universe is such an incredible creation: the way it all fits together so perfectly. We make the suffering, not God.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No I was searching for a reason. I went to psychics, new age areas, explored meditation, did angel study. I finally found religion and have come home. I can't say that there was a dramatic change due to my near-death experience.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No I have only begun to mention it recently.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events at time
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I did not think much about it at the time, but recently, as I've been reading about near-death experiences, I've realized that I've experienced oneàalthough mine is not as colorful or as exciting as others.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Years ago, I shared it. There were no reactions; no-one was influenced,
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain During my lifetime, once in a while, I would read or hear about near-death experience but did not pay much attention, or give much thought, to it. I didn't know anyone personally who'd experienced near-death experience.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I felt the unconditional love in that embrace for weeks afterwards, every time I brought the incident to mind. The feeling has faded but I remember; it was the best ever.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real After reading about many near-death experiences, I realize that what happened to me that night was a near-death experience. Sleep apnea seems like a lightweight way to get into one, compared to the other people's accidents and operations. I am not overweight any longer and sleep better.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wish it had been as exciting as some of those I read about, and that I would feel 'altered for the better' like others seem to experience after coming back. My experience seems 'flat' compared to most others I read.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? Yes I remember during my life hearing the words spoken, 'You can go if you want to, but it will be hard' and I replied 'Yes, I want to go'. As I read near-death experiences, I realize we may exist before we are born here on earth. I have always felt I was born into the wrong family, like I don't belong here.