Experience Description

I was forty-one and had my third child. After the baby was born, I was diagnosed with an arteriovenous malformation in my brain. I had to go through three separate embolization and after that, I was to have brain surgery. I really didn't think about the actual surgery, I just knew I wanted this thing out of my head.

When I awoke from the surgery I began telling my mother that I had been on a path made of light that was what appeared to be a night sky with stars all around. The path zigzagged and at the end of the path, I could see a very bright light. I remember just standing in the path and a small girl who was as if bright light was standing next to me and a very tall man dressed in a green suit. In front of me were three beings dressed in black robes that had emeralds around their hoods. I could not see their faces and I was not afraid. I felt very calm and peaceful. They spoke to me with their minds and told me that it was not my time yet. That I had to go back and love Him. I did not understand what that meant. When I described the little girl in the bright light, my mother's face just went white. She later told me that I had described my grandmother when she was about twelve years old. That white light remained very close to me even after I woke up. I kept pointing to her and telling my family that she was right next to me protecting me.

After I got home from hospital, I continued to see other dead relatives in my home and was very tuned into other people's feelings. It was not until I had to go to therapy during my recovery that my therapist, who is Jewish, helped me realize the three beings were the Trinity and that I had to go back and love Him, was God. From that love, love just flowed out of me. It took me two and half years to recover from brain surgery and the whole time I was very close to God. Since I have been back to work, I don't have that love and peacefulness that I once had and I desperately want those feelings back!

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'August 28, 2003'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes IllnessSurgery-relatedDirect head injury Brain Surgery 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening' I was having brain surgery.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness While talking with the Trinity.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While talking with the Trinity.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Colors were brighter which was odd because when I woke up the surgery had affected brightness and colors in the real world, everything was much darker.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Lights ahead of me, lights on the 'path' that I walked on, lights coming from the people, lights from stars.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total calm - I liked it.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I knew when my soul mate was coming.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Catholic but not practising

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I became close with God.

What is your religion now? Moderate Catholic

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I became close with God.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew when my soul mate was coming; I knew how other people were feeling.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I do not argue like I use to. It takes a whole lot to anger me. People and relationships are much more important to me than ever!

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I could see dead people; I could sense other people's feelings.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it was. It totally changed my life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As soon as I could talk and it has influenced my entire family.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I guess I had heard on TV that it was possible but never in a million years did I think it would ever happen to me!

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I just knew in my soul that it was real. How could I have ever known what my grandmother looked like as a young girl.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I believe it was very real but sometimes I think it was just because they were working on my brain - but in my heart and soul I feel it was real. I wasn't really close to God before all this happened and now I am very close to God!

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes After my very first seizure it seemed that I was 'guided' by God to acknowledge certain things that I did not before - I began reading the Bible and understanding what I was reading.