It was the early morning of March 1, 2014, following my divorce/mediation. The sun had not yet come up. I awoke in a very awkward position in my bed. As my eyes opened, I tried to regain focus of my surroundings. My brain functions were so confused and foggy. I did not know where I was or what had happened. BUT- I knew! I knew something was different!
I was not just 'waking up' from a night’s sleep. I live with a rare congenital arrhythmia. I have an implanted cardiac defibrillator. This device was surgically placed over my heart in January of 2013 as a result of my daughter’s sudden cardiac arrest. I passed the gene on to her so she shares the same lethal condition. Her event happened two years prior to mine. Looking back in hindsight, her cardiac arrest saved and protects us now with modern technology so that we can live full lives.
My feelings that morning were very sacred. I felt pure bliss and peace. I will not ever forget or let go of what I experienced that morning as it has given birth to a strengthened intuitive connection in me. My experience transcended all time and space and is now the source of my objective truth about our reality here in this life on Earth. It’s something that will never leave me.
I remember lying there relishing the feelings that lingered within me that morning. Up until recently, it has been difficult for me to talk about my experience with death that morning. It’s not every day the subject is easily talked about or accepted. I know now, my near death experience is a gift which gives me that simple but powerful unity truth and understanding. It has ignited the deepest of all self-love and compassion for humanity because of it. It’s hard to speak of what exactly happened that morning because WORDS do not come close to what I experienced there. It was, however, extraordinary and transformational.
I didn’t see the face of God in my moment of death. Nor was I confronted with a blinding white light. I saw an encompassing blackness with the most electrifying colors of light throughout it. The blackness hugged me and whirled around my body for what seemed to have a sense of time. I talked with the Divine. I DID become a part of that Divine Higher Consciousness Energy. The conversation was a knowledge untranslatable by words and it filled me with the most intense Joy. It connected me to the most incredible energies of serene, complete unconditional Love. This Love I am learning to access now through nature and dedication to deepening my relationship with MYSELF.
Modern technology blows my mind how it has developed and now protects me every day from these events. After that particular experience in March 2014, the data from my device was given to me in a report from the physician. The report confirmed that while sleeping my heart went into V-Tach and I experienced a sudden cardiac arrest for over two minutes. My device automatically delivered a shock of 65 joules of electricity within 46 seconds of it stopping. My heart did not respond to the first shock and I received a second shock of 75 joules of electricity after the first shock. My heart still did not respond. At the two-minute mark I was administered a third shock of 90 joules of electricity and this brought my heart back into normal rhythm again.
Since my NDE:
I have been healing and recovering from that event. I felt so euphoric that day. I remember thinking, how horribly bad I wanted to go back there. I even have unquenchable thirsts and cravings even now to be close to the Higher, Loving Consciousness as I was that day. I have recognized how my recovery and healing is an ongoing process.
I struggle with feeling as if I don’t it in everywhere I go now. I struggle relating to my own birth family and find that I value my alone time as a necessity to feel replenished and whole. In the last five years, my life has taken a big transformational shift. I have overcome a lot of dysfunction, recovering and healing from the trauma of mental abuse, betrayal, codependency, and addictive patterns and behaviors.
I believe everything happens for a reason and all within a Divine Timing. Today, I tap into my Will to create what feels good to me, dedicate to caring for MYSELF in the highest ways so that I can be here in this Life, and live out my Purpose fully. I harness that Divine Energy everywhere I can find it. I find the Divine Energy in nature, in people I meet, in my closest relationships, in small moments of stillness and all the places I can connect to feelings of Love and Joy. I am determined to integrate the wisdoms, which have heightened my awareness and deepened my Love I experienced that day. I fulfill my passions through my profession. I teach people how to create order. I am seeing how my career path keeps evolving as I become more confident and claim my True Essence. I am working towards creating an empathy and compassion driven business, in the hope that its form will teach people Self Love and to help people FEEL. EXPRESS. And CONNECT more fully to their intuitive wisdoms so that they too can live within their own hearts and thrive in this Life too!
Date NDE Occurred: March 01, 2014
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)
I have a rare congenital cardiac disease called Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome- (LQTS T2). I was misdiagnosed for 30 years and have realized I have had several NDE's. In 2013, I was finally diagnosed with confirmed genetic testing and had a life changing cardiac surgery. I received an (ICD) implantable cardiac defibrillator. In that year, I had three confirmed cardiac arrests.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal All of my senses where very heightened, even my intuitive/emotional senses or awarenesses.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was during the time I was in the tunnel in which I experienced the blackness and electric colors around me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning.
It just seemed timeless, almost like forever.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Very clear and bright, the color was so intense.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I'm not sure about hearing. There was a conversation, but it was not through the exchange of words.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I did not pass through it. I believe I was in it. I had no sense of time while I was there.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I did not see a 'white' light. I was in blackness, but there was intense color and brightness from the colorful streaks of light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. A blackness with electric color lights whirled around me.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt, immense peace, joy, serenity, and unconditional love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. It was the most settling peaceful moment because nothing needed to be questioned or understood. It just was.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was raised Catholic. However, at the time of the event I had already had a shift in my spiritual understanding and views. I have not been a practicing Catholic for approximately 12 years.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I no longer attend the Catholic Church. I am very dedicated to a self-practice of meditation, clean diet, exercise, self-reflection and contemplation daily!
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated I do not practice a religion. I am dedicated to my own self practices that deepen my spirituality and connection with the Divine.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I became clear of my self-worth and everything seemed to get easier around voicing my needs and opinions.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes A unity consciousness definitely exists.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I experienced God as a state of higher consciousness, one love, and one being. God definitely exists.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No My purpose is to return to love unconditional and teach others how to Feel, Express, and Connect to the Divine Energy that exists within.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes My awareness of a Divine Energy and the unity of humanity existed.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes That unconditional love prevails and that I will heal and transcend the difficulties here on earth. Virtues like acceptance, forgiveness, and love need to be practiced and integrated into how I live and cope with life here.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes LOVE! The Universal consciousness energy is accessible by everyone.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. It has shifted my perceptions and the way I cope with daily life and typical life challenges.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes They have improved and I have been able to transcend some very deep emotional pain and suffering over a failed marriage in 2012.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Words do not come close to explaining or describing what I felt, knew, understood, and experienced. I could not articulate what had happened for a while. But, I knew without saying that I had experienced a heavenly realm and a higher state of consciousness, and very powerful unconditional love.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It was all so intense and life altering.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It took me seven months after the experience to begin admitting to myself what had happen. Then I began confiding to someone about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Being out in nature, listening to music, and certain people.