Experience Description

I had a cardiac arrest. The next thing I remember is looking at my body lying on the gurney and I looked inside the ambulance and saw a small sign that gave the load capacity. Being a rather plump person with a sense of humor about it I looked at myself lying there and thought ok we'll both fit. Then I stepped up into the ambulance and my dad, ho had just died in May, said, 'What are you doing here?' (Although he didn't really speak - I just 'knew'.) He was smiling and teasing me, I answered, 'I don't know.' Then he communicated to me, 'You have to go back you have grandkids.' My mom was sitting next to my dad and she communicated her agreement with my dad.

Then I remember floating over my body and seeing the doctors and nurses working on my body and I remember thinking to myself, 'Why are they so upset?' It was okay where I was, but I couldn't communicate that to them, but that didn't upset me I just have no words to describe the light coming from my parents or the way I felt. I still can't put it into words.

The next thing I was aware of was my daughter telling me I was in the hospital they had just done surgery on my heart and I needed to fight because I was in the intensive care unit. She and my two sons, my daughter-in-law and my sister were so upset and I couldn't tell them I was going to be ok because I was on a respirator and it made me mad.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: October 24,2002

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack Clinical death Sudden Cardiac ArrestI had a sudden cardiac arrest, I felt no pain. I just fell over dead on my front lawn.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was as clear as a bell. I knew everything that I was doing but my body was not with me.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes See above.

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes White, but I can't describe its brilliance or how it was coming from the inside of my parents.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The beauty came from knowing where I was. It was the most wonderful place I've ever been. Words can't describe it.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I know I am supposed to be here to finish being a good grandma. I know that the love we feel goes on with us and I know we can communicate with those that have gone before us if we listen and believe what our hearts tell us.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I know where I'm going when I leave this world.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will My dad told me I had to go back and my mom agreed.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I know life is a gift we are here to learn, we chose our circumstances to do that learning and since I chose to be sick most of my life I have no one to blame and I'm no longer angry or depressed about my chronic pain.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I know what happened to me is as real as the fact that the sun sets in the West, I cannot understand why some doubt what I know is true. It has confirmed what I always known was true. That we are not alone when we leave the Earth, that somehow life goes on, and that we can communicate with those who have left the Earth before us. And that there are beings (some call them angels) that are everywhere and they help us when we need it. I guess my frustration is I can't find the words to describe what I felt or what I know to be true.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am understanding my dreams now.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It was really an easy way to die. That is how I hope I leave when I die for good.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My youngest son believes me completely, my daughter believes the parts that agree with her Christian upbringing. My oldest believes me but he won't talk about it without making jokes about it. He's afraid of what people might say.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No