Experience Description

When I was twenty-five, I had a second occurrence of parotid mixed tumors. I cannot remember if the surgery was ten hours and I was in the hospital for twelve days, or if the surgery was twelve hours and I was in the hospital for ten days - Probably the latter.

What I now know was during the surgery, I became aware. It seemed like I was in a very crowded area full of my best friends, and I had never been so happy. It was as though I was at my best self and everyone adored, admired and loved me so much. I felt more alive and more aware than I ever had been and I felt exceedingly happy to be with those I felt I had known and loved throughout all eternity. I do know that we did not have actual bodies, but I have no idea how to describe what we were.

Then there was a sudden awareness that I had to go back now. It was as if I went through a dimension, like a wall, I popped through and then I was floating in the darkest space. There were bright stars all around. I thought - oh no, there's been a mistake, and I saw forms of hands and arms trying to reach me through this dimensional wall. They couldn't get me. I felt they were crying, 'Catch her, catch her'! I was floating through space and began to get very worried. I knew that this was the 'real me', and that my 'dream me' was having a surgery and that something wrong had happened. I felt as though I floated in this darkest space for a very long time, and had lots of time to realize that I was in serious trouble. There was nothing around me but bright stars far away and I was totally alone.

Suddenly, I felt like I was grabbed and my body slammed back into my body. I was in the recovery room and a nurse was shaking me, telling me to wake up. I opened my eye (one was covered by a patch), and said 'Thank God, they caught me!' The nurse was very interested in that, and she asked me, 'Who caught you, dear?' I had no idea how to answer her. But I have always known that whatever I was up there is the real me, and this life I am living is my dream. I was not dead, but I am not in the least bit afraid of death. I know that I am, and all of us, are eternal beings. This life is not our real selves, but is our dream. And some day we will all be awake and happy to be home again.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1982

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Surgery-related Other I was having a long surgery for tumors.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was most alert when I was not in my body.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was most alert when I was not in my body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning When I was floating through space, it seemed like I was there a very long time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I went through a dimension, like a plasma wall.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes They were all around me and I had known them always. What was understood was that we loved each other tremendously.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Another dimension.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I have never lost the understanding that we will return to our real lives, but that we will think of this life like a dream.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of joy was ecstatic.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have always known that there is more to us than our bodies.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was happy and not worried.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Too many questions which were redundant!