I went into insulin shock, convulsions and then nothing (no movement). (This was according to my ex-husband.) I could see a hard to describe 'void' because I could 'see'. I saw no light, no deceased people (known or unknown). I somehow 'received' the understanding (the message? It was not a voice.) That if I died right there and then, my eight month old son would be okay and that my parents would be okay in the long run. I had the certainty that the world (my world) would be okay without me. That my son would grow up healthy and well (he did), and that my parents would survive the pain of my loss. I accepted dying and was willing to let myself go (that's when I felt a weight lift).
As I was 'returning' (my ex-husband shoved about four tablespoons of sugar in my mouth), I felt a 'sucking' pull taking me back (I did not 'see' my body from the ceiling or anything that was going on around my body). As I returned (after the pull (strong tug), everything seemed to be moving in incredibly slow motion. I could hear my ex-husband yelling my name in slow motion from a very, very far away place and I began to see his hand moving across my face repeatedly (and very slowly). He later told me he was slapping me to wake me up but I never felt his hand touch my face.
Date NDE Occurred: 1984
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Life threatening event, but not clinical death
Type I diabetic. Mistakenly took double dose of insulin by using wrong gauge syringe. Loss consciousness and was having convulsions, eyes rolled back (told to me by my husband at the time) and then laid limp during the NDE.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Once the feeling of peacefully dying without worrying about my baby or my parents was accepted. I was quite aware that I could let go.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Things occurred in slow motion as I 'returned'. Time stood still during the experience.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Void, I could see, but I couldn't 'see'. When 'coming back' I could see my ex-husband's hand slapping my face in very slow motion (he was trying to wake me up). It was a slow return to normal vision.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Loud, prolonged pitch until reaching acceptance of death and total peace (no sound at all after this). When 'coming back' I could hear my ex-husband's voice as if he was yelling from a very, very, far place.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, unbelievable, indescribable peace. Loss of fear of death. I felt as if a heavy weight was lifted from me. Elated, happy, ready to leave this world, acceptance, okay with everything in the world.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I knew that my baby and parents would be okay - this cannot be proven since I did not die. But I know that the future for them would have been okay had I actually died. Does that make sense? It does to me!
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist Agnostic-None
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist Agnostic-None
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes It is okay to die. We should not fear death. (I did before this because of my diabetes from a young age). My baby will be okay (unquestionably). My parents will be okay if I die. All will be well if I die. Life will go on as it should.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Indefinable peace.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I sometimes have premonitions of plane crashes, not specifics, only feel that it will happen. Usually within the next few hours, they do. So I am not sure what this means. And it does not happen very often. I don't think it's anything 'special', I think most of us have had this happen. So, definitely uncertain on this question. Sometimes I see the same number repeatedly on different places I go throughout the day and they end up being a winning number on the 'Pick 3' (it's always three numbers). I don't play though, but curiosity makes me check the numbers, and yes - it's the same number.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? What I got out of my NDE was not to fear death anymore. Of course it was very important to me and changed my life because I had always been afraid of going into a diabetic coma.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I did not share until about eighteen years after the experience for fear of ridicule or disbelief. However, when more people began sharing (Discovery Channel, etc.) I told people under certain situations. Reaction? I don't know, blank stare, I guess. I was not told by these people if they believed me or thought I was nuts.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes As most of us, I had always heard about people claiming they could see a bright light or dead people from their past. I did not experience either so I don't think this knowledge influenced my NDE at all.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The experience changed my life as far as fearing death. I have absolutely no qualms about dying anymore. I felt the most amazing feeling of peace that I cannot possibly feel from a day to day standpoint. I look forward to feeling it again. Had it not been real, wouldn't I be able to feel this peace and 'lightness' again? THIS WAS REAL, no question in my mind, EVER.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Same answer as before. The reality of the experience has stayed with me throughout my life. It has been twenty-three years and I remember everything like it was yesterday. I also never had the same sense of peace again that I could only reach during the NDE experience. As a matter of fact, I think about it every day because of my bad health. It is a constant reminder that things are going to be okay with my kids and parents when I die. (I don't believe I will reach old age.)
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I guess you could ask people if they felt any physical pain, since most NDE's occur under medical emergencies. I personally did not feel any pain. I had no sense of my body - but I did not see my body lying on the bed either. I felt sort of a 'sucking' motion pulling me back to my body, but it was only a strong feeling, not something that I could see.