Drove (in shock - by myself) to the nearest hospital, which was in the process of bankruptcy at the time and collapsed in the emergency room - three pints of blood in my abdomen hemorrhaging.
The reason that I was on the respirator, doing a hundred percent of my breathing, was that every time the doctors tried to bring me out of the anesthesia/drugs, I went into a panic attack, cutting off my breathing (thus, the trachea tube). I was at that time also diagnosed with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). I have only one sibling, she is three years younger than me. They told her, 'She's not breathing on her own, pray for the best, but expect the worst.' The only good thing she has on her side is that she's fairly young. My sister went home, found my cemetery lot documents, called my bank to see if my mortgage was paid off in the event of my death, and it would've been. I had life insurance added to the loan. She had to write out my utilities, bills, etc. for that month and take care of my dogs, and my mother, who I was taking care of - 120lbs with CAD/Congestive Heart Failure - thirty percent functioning and two replaced hips (osteoporosis).
As I said before, I was reaching out toward the light with such a force, when I woke up, I really could not move my right arm - it felt like I completely pulled out my shoulder and back muscles reaching and grabbing, trying to go into that light.
Date NDE Occurred: 'June, 2000'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drove (in shock) by myself) to the nearest hospital-Citizens General - which was in the process of bankruptcy at the time & collapsed in the ER-3 pints of blood in my abdomen-hemorrhaging. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Diverticulitis, punctured intestine, causing me to hemorrhage abdominally. That's why I was flown in a helicopter, where I had no pulse, breathing, heartbeat for four minutes, according to the doctor, who was beside me the whole time. (I thought it was a dream, until he came in, after I got out of it, he grabbed my arm, and said 'We almost lost you, there!')
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As I said, I thought it was a dream, and as I was unconscious and clinically dead for four minutes in the helicopter, I vividly remember - no tunnel, no hovering above my body, no seeing deceased relatives, it was as if I went directly into and toward the light! I could not see the face of Christ, but DID notice the flowing white robes - I concentrated more on the right arm - why was it raised?
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time was absent, and did not really matter to me at all!
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. At first, the light was SO BRIGHT, I thought that surely I was going to go blind, so I shielded my eyes temporarily with my right arm. Nothing was transparent - things were solid.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was absolutely no sound at all, no words were spoken - I was NOT told to go back. I just proceeded to go backwards when the two fingers on HIS right raised hand went down.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Fairly far off, where the light was the brightest, I knew I was seeing the outline/solid figure of My Lord, Jesus Christ, clothed in white, flowing robes, as if the wind was blowing HIM.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes So very bright was the white light. Mentally, I felt as if I could go blind, so I shielded my eyes at first with my right arm.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Just the light, but never got past it-believe me, I WANTED to, but was unfortunately sent back here for some unknown reason....I believe that beyond the light, was HEAVEN, but I didn't make it - not this time.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? There are no words to describe the warmth, peace, love, joy, happiness and security that one feels when this happens. It just CANNOT be described.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain I knew the boundary was the Bright LIGHT (containing the image of OUR LORD), but I was pulling and pulling with my right arm mentally saying 'Please take me closer - I want to go with YOU-NOW!' I was POSITIVE that HEAVEN was right behind JESUS CHRIST and THE LIGHT!!!!! And that I would once again be reunited with my Daddy, my Uncle Mick, my Grandpap's Eli and John, and both Grandmas (that died before I was born), along with very many, very young friends, who died unexpectedly during my childhood, during high school, and afterwards. I have always been a giving, friendly, kind-to-a-fault, outgoing person who always looks for at least ONE good thing in each person, no matter how bad they are reported to be. I have ALWAYS made the attempt to make friends and stick up for the bullied, making many friends wherever I can. I believe that I should treat ALL people (regardless of creed, color, ethnic background, religious beliefs, etc.) the way that I would like to be treated. I'm basically poor, but see a beautiful heart in everyone, not material things, which no one takes (or will ever take) with them upon death.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist 'My father dies when I was 5 yrs. old, attended Roman Catholic School from grades 1 thru 8; raised Catholic, but began searching for more in my 20's. Became a born-again Christian in my late 20's - read THE HOLY BIBLE (KJV) 3 times cover-to cover, now non-denominational Christian.'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes My NDE just completely proven my reason for my faith and made it even STRONGER!
Let's face it, people NEED intercessory prayer.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist Non-denominational saved Christian.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My NDE just completely proven my reason for my faith and made it even STRONGER!
Let's face it, people NEED intercessory prayer.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I'm a kinder, more gentle person, and since the experience, not materialistic any more. I donate and volunteer more than ever, and love to share my story with whoever will listen to me. Maybe it can somehow get people to think that the body is just a shell, the real self is within - in the soul itself. I can at least plant a seed, if anything, to make people think about eternity - not just today, this weekend, or the near future. I have a totally different outlook on life, now.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes For years could not tell the story without crying, don't care whether anyone believes me or not. It was the most warm, peaceful, beautiful experience in my life. The Light was like one hundred times the hot sun on a July, clear day. No medication could ever simulate that feeling. I was reaching toward the light with my right arm - wanted to go into the light. No thoughts of anything else at all - I could make out the figure from a distance inside the light, which I KNEW was the Resurrected Christ. He had his Right hand up, along with his index and middle fingers only. As I got closer, those two fingers went down and that's when I went backwards with unimaginable G-force. I explain it to people in my area as 'like going in reverse on the 'Laser Loop', and older roller-coaster at nearby Kennywood Park, now defunct. I DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK!!!!!!! No words were spoken and I did not have a decision to say or go, either.
I went into a very DEEP depression in the hospital afterward, could not stop crying, since I thought I wasn't good enough to go with The Master. I asked my sister to bring me my Bible, so that I could find ANY reason that I was sent back. That's when I encountered a very large African-American man (in green scrubs), on the day of my hospital release, emptying the 'toxic' container. He noticed my Bible and told me that he was a member of 'Promise-Keepers', of which I have heard. I told him my story, crying again, and he said to me, 'How do you think Moses felt after being in the presence of GOD receiving The Ten Commandments, and then having to come down from Mount Sinai to all of the evil people worshipping the golden cow?' Well, a light bulb went off in my head - he was right - my answer was given. He said to me, 'Well, I guess I'll never see you again'. I replied, 'Oh, yes, you will - in Heaven!' He grinned ear-to-ear and left the room.
I called the Hospital when I got home, to get his name - send him a letter for helping me. Gave the floor, room number, described the man - to the Supervising Head Nurse. She said 'I'm sorry - no one who fits that description, works, or has ever worked, on that floor in the twenty years that I've been in charge!' So, therefore, not only am I not afraid to die, but I now also believe that angels CAN and DO take human form. Great is our Creator!!!!
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes In my mid-twenties, I began to experience premonition-type disastrous nightmares, but these tragedies would happen to ME, so I had NO WAY of warning anyone of impending doom. I knelt down on my knees, prayed and asked OUR LORD to take these from me, as they were affecting me mentally, and I was not ready to harness/deal with these dreams. Example: I grew up in a very close small-town, Caucasian neighborhood, and down the street, about five houses away, there was a 'poor' family with seven children, some younger, some older than me. I became very good friends with 'Karen', two years older. She married a 'mafia-type' man, who both mentally and physically abused her. SHE WAS GORGEOUS and EXTREMELY well built, but quiet and a good girl. I was also friends with her brother, Larry and (being the 'caretaker-type'), he called ME at 3:00 am, after slitting his wrists, when his wife was out with another man, and two toddlers were in the house sleeping! I immediately sped up to his house ten miles away, and took care of the situation. But, anyway, Larry's sister, Karen, died at the young age of twenty-nine.
The night she 'burned in a fire to cover up the evidence' (we knew who killed her) I had a nightmare: I was smoking a cigarette, I dropped it and it started to burn and smolder my mattress. I woke up patting my bed to put out the 'fire.' Of course, there was none. Five minutes later, my bedside phone rings, and I get a call at 5:00 am EST from my friend, Larry (I still thought I was dreaming). He said to me 'Karen, my sister, Karen burned to death in a fire (the SAME night) and I have to go to identify the body! This experience COULD NOT have been a gift from GOD, or I felt that I would've been able to warn her, so I began to pray 'GOD, please, take this from me,' and HE did. I KNOW HE exists, since I've had no such 'nightmares since.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I now have absolutely NO FEAR OF DEATH!!!!! I cannot state this of many people that I know, including family members - I guess one has to experience it before they truly believe. I feel that emergency room doctors believe it, and I don't know if you get BIO (Biography Channel) or not; but in Pennsylvania, on Sunday nights, they have a series called 'I Survived', and then later, one called 'I Survived - Beyond and Back'; if you can, watch it! Seems everyone's story is different, some have been 'clinically dead' for up to fifteen minutes, even an Internal Medical Specialist! It changes people's lives, and there aren't many who WANT to come back! I've also seen stories of atheists who claim they've gone to HELL and asked GOD, due to the painful torment experienced, to save them; one is now a preacher. There IS Life After Death - I'm living proof (not suicidal, but can't WAIT to experience that beautiful peace once again)!
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately. Of course, most people said, 'You were drugged-up.' An insult to me since Hospitals do NOT release a patient-drugged-up!!! Especially, after about a month, most of it in intensive care unit. I was weak, lost a lot of weight, But I was thinking clearly! Later on, I made friends with 'David', who needed a liver transplant. He has some blood disease alpha-tripten (I think I got it right, and it's hereditary too). He has to go for a lot of 'blood-letting', whatever that is, and he lost a twin to the same disease. He was only forty-nine when he had a successful liver transplant. It eventually attacked his lungs, after about one year and I think he knew he was going to die soon. He MADE me tell the NDE story SO OFTEN that I was getting tired of telling it! He and his wife, Donna, (he made me PROMISE that if he should die I would become friends with her!). We have been very close friends since his death one year after his transplant in 2004. Maybe I survived just to ease friends in the transition of passing to the other side. Dave was never saved - but DID believe in GOD! I pray that he's at peace in Heaven.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes While I was sole caretaker for my dear mother, one of three nurses came to assist her, and I asked her if she's ever heard of an NDE. She told me of a website to look into - afterdeath.com; and two days later she was unexpectedly killed in an auto accident! I tried to visit the site, but it is 'under construction'. You ALWAYS think either you're crazy, or the experience was drug-induced!
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real No more fear of death, even to this day, almost eleven years later, I believed it in the beginning, now, and will in the future. It's just a matter of time until I get there again, and I'm actually looking forward to it!
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real If I had faked it, or it was just a 'drug-induced' dream, I would not remember every single detail - vividly - to this day. IT was REAL, and that, I'll carry to my grave - when I finally get there! I guess, that is why on many tombstones, you see 'R.I.P.'. This will be the ONLY time you will rest in peace!!!!
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Everyone needs to know that there is an afterlife. I, personally, believe in The Torah, Isr'l, The Old and New Testament and Jesus Christ (God's only SON-given as a ransom for the sins of the world, crucified for you and I). As the Holy Bible states: 'There is NO NAME under the HEAVENS or EARTH, by which a man be saved - except By THE LORD JESUS CHRIST'. HE said, 'I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE, NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER EXCEPT BY ME.' I truly believe this, and I fear not those who can kill the body, but those who can destroy the body and soul in HELL - 'The Lake of Eternal Torment'. JUST THINK ABOUT IT.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Would like to see many websites regarding NDEs; ALL seem to be different. My personal friend, Cheryl, a kidney-liver transplant patient, had an NDE, but was given a 'Choice' by someone that she could not identify (not open-minded, like me). This person said to her 'Are you ready to pass to the next level, or would you like to go back?' Well, she has two sons, Chris and George, and is a grandmother. She chose to 'go back'. I have no children, never could due to female problems (in-vitro, etc.). I wasn't given a choice, it seems everyone has their own 'personal' sort of NDE; but I believe all lead to the same place - 'THE SUPREME CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE'. Period.