I was found by my mom after taking a bottle of high blood pressure pills. My mom called the ambulance right away, but I passed out on the way to the hospital; my blood pressure was already lowered to rock bottom. They said in the ambulance that I was fading fast. At the hospital, they forced me to drink charcoal, but they couldn't get all of the drugs out of my system. My blood pressure wasn't coming back up, so I was under watch for death from the start. After I was admitted to the hospital, I was kept for several days, but it was the first night I was there that my experience happened. They said I died three times during the night but kept coming back without resuscitation. (I had never been afraid of dying my whole life and that has not changed.)
I remember feeling this warm, calm feeling and being in a warm light like the sun. I felt at peace and felt like there were others there watching me, but never showing themselves. I felt I was receiving a gift from somewhere. I know I didn't want to come back, because it was so peaceful there. I remember traveling to that same place all three times - but even when I came back to life, I didn't realize I had died until my mom told me later. I thought I was only dreaming. I have always been able to feel what others are feeling emotionally - I think they call that kind of person a 'sensitive' or an 'empath,' but this ability became stronger after my experience. I believe that this is a gift they gave me to help others. I can see things and feel things most people can't. I know that every time I went back there, I was only going to be allowed to be there for a short period of time. I would feel a pushing sensation making me go back. That's the best way I can describe it. It was as if I wasn't supposed to be there yet and needed a push to go back home. It felt like a loving push, because I was being stubborn and didn't want to leave the warmth and comfort that the light gave me. Since that time, I have learned to meditate and to leave my body to try to answer the questions I have about where I went during my experience. I haven't made it back to the same place, but I have been to a garden of great beauty and have been told I already know the answers to my questions.
Date NDE Occurred: 2000
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had taken pills to commit suicide. I could have never come back if I had not been rescued.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't know - it felt like there was no time there. It just was.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It felt like there was no time there.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything became more vivid in color and brightness.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could not really hear the talking going on around me there - like it was muffled. I felt they were talking about me.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was like a tunnel of pure light, and I was just drifting.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I felt them there but never saw them. I could hear, like, whispering.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was like the sun, but it didn't hurt my eyes and was very warm and comforting.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy, peace, calmness, comfort and great sadness when I had to leave.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate more spiritual than religious
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have tried to get more in touch with my surroundings and nature.
What is your religion now? Moderate more spiritual than religious
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have tried to get more in touch with my surroundings and nature.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt I had a purpose and was sent back to take care of it.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have been more understanding and compassionate to others.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It seemed there weren't enough words to describe the feelings I felt while there.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes The ability I already had, became heightened. I can see shadows, which I like to call spirits or ghosts. And I can feel others' emotions more strongly than I used to, almost as if I'm the one feeling them.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? When I felt like I was touched and filled up with this peace and then pushed back home.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with my dad and mom but they didn't believe me, and recently I shared it with my boyfriend. He understands, because he had something similar happen to him when he crashed his motorcycle and died. I didn't want to tell anyone after my parents didn't believe me, until he came into my life.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I knew that some people had claimed to have had them but wasn't sure they were real until I had my own. I don't think knowing about them affected my own experience. I didn't really take what I heard that seriously, since I didn't know if they were real or not.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Right away, I saw the experience as 'definitely real.' I believed it was real - it seemed that something that peaceful and that beautiful had to be real. I was in awe! I felt it was real because I was aware of my surroundings, too.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still see the experience as 'definitely real.' I believe now, as I did then, that something that peaceful and that beautiful had to be real. I was in awe and still am! I also felt it was real because I was aware of my surroundings at all times.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain I meditate, but meditation has not caused the exact experience to be repeated - but something different happens, seeming also to be of another world.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wish I could have stayed longer so I could have had time to ask questions about how to help those that I love.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? It seems to me that you have covered a great deal already, so I think you have it well in hand.