The day it happened I remember writing a note to my husband's parent's pastor telling him to watch over my husband. I knew the end was near. I remember looking at my husband and seeing the anguish on his face, it hurt my heart. Then I was in what I can only describe as a hallway but it seemed fluorescent white but no lights were in it. I sensed my mother, not like seeing her here but the best way to describe it is like she was all around me and through me, like a mist but more real. A very wonderful feeling of peace, no stress, no worries, no pain, no issues, but this enormous peace, words fail the experience. It was like we communicated without words, just a knowing, and I knew I had to come back, I did not want to. I felt assured at that time that, and the way that I have said it to anyone I tell, it was like we are (visualize a large spot, then superimposed over that spot the same spot) here, but also here! That God IS - I to this day am ready to go back!!! Now for the real interesting part! I saw my husband when I came back, the first words I said to him was I had to come back for you. I have to tell you part of his life for you to truly understand this. My husband lost his son who was riding a bike to a drunk driver. My husband has been terrified of death since that time. Last year, my husband was diagnosed with stage IV cancer; he is terminal and has months to live. I believe with all that I am that I had the experience to share it with my husband and others to help them to not be afraid.
Date NDE Occurred: 2003
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Life threatening event, but not clinical death . I had a very unusual disease that had me in the hospital thirty-eight days. Bi-lateral obliterating organizing pneumonia (BOOP). Slung biopsy was taken to identify what is because no medication was effective. Doctors told my husband I would probably not survive the biopsy but it was necessary to determine what was wrong.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Within the presence of my mother.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Within the presence of my mother.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time there isn't relevant.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Much more clarity.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Hearing was different, as I said communication was not like here, it was more of a knowing.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I didn't pass through it, more like stayed in a hallway of light.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes As I said the presence of my mother all around me. She expressed without words that I had to return. On question 20, you asked did I see deceased spirit. My mother is deceased but it was more like an enveloping presence.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Like very brilliant fluorescent light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peaceful, joyful alert.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I knew I came back for my husband, it was years later I felt my experience would help him with his dying, but I always felt I came back to assist or help or do something for him.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes That GOD IS.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The intensity, overwhelming awe, and feeling of a peace that to this day I cannot truly explain, also the feeling of regret that I had to come back.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The peace. It was the one thing I can't put into words correctly and the one thing I long to return to.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Hours.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I viewed it as hope of things to come when we leave this earth. That that place is more real than this one will ever be.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I know without a doubt it was real, I share it because I know it to be truth even when people think I am crazy. If it was not true why would I subject myself to speculation. I know my experience will help my husband transition through his cancer, even if he doesn't understand truly he knows I do not lie.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No