Before I left my body, I felt COLD from the inside out. Then I didn't feel my legs. I told the nurse, 'I don't feel my legs, I mean, I don't FEEL NOT FEELING them.' Then I left out of my body as if out of my chest area. I was very high upon the 'wall', 'nose to nose' with the clock - a female voice and three male voices were there. Neither stranger, nor do I recall WHO they are? SHE said for me to remember 12:05. I asked, 'a.m. or p.m.?' She said that didn't matter, just remember 12:05.
I looked very far down to the yelling I heard - I saw the room and the people FAR away. Then I was THERE, standing there, but they wouldn't move for me to see - I leaned through them or something - then my vantage point took me to the head of the bed. I thought, 'Oh, I don't look too good. I should've taken better care of myself.'
The voices said I didn't have 'much time'. The people were upset and I didn't understand why? I was FINE. One lady yelled numbers, the others moved faster. She said, 'nineteen over eleven!' and I thought, 'Oh? If I run out of numbers doesn't that mean I am DEAD?' And I laughed, 'THIS IS IT? THIS is what everyone is so afraid of???' I laughed the same as I hear myself laugh now inside this thing once again. I was still ME, just not in this.
I saw that 'light' - it is a being, LOVE, HOME. It knew me, it knows all of us. It made me aware that I have always been loved and will always BE loved, even if I forget again.
The female voice 'behind' me said, 'She doesn't know, you need to tell her!' I focused my attention to her and the 'light' was gone. She said, 'You had a baby!' And I thought, 'Oh! A baby? I can't leave the baby with Doug. Before I completed that thought, I hit my body like a ton of lead. The pain was AWFUL. The voices were 'gone' and I was trapped inside this again. It was seven years before I figured out they didn't MAKE me come back. It was my THOUGHT, 'will that brought me back here?' Here is there - just different.
Date NDE Occurred: 12/18/1990
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth Clinical death Emergency c'sarean section.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes It didn't matter.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? TOTAL.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I still do. I can't FEEL Mondays from any other day of the 'week' - don't FEEL time like I did - distinct impression it doesn't matter.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? PEACE.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain At the beginning of it.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes They were with me - I think I knew who they were, but I don't remember now. I remember knowing them, but not WHO they are.
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Without my physical eyes - I recall thinking; it is so bright that it would burn your eyes through your head, if you had them.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Everyone goes home. Everyone is loved. All is forgiven. God is God by any name.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I think I knew what my son's life would be like without me here. I was not going to allow it - I HAD to come back.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Death is a reward, not a punishment or end.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No Yes and No. Words give much room for free will and misunderstanding - in that way, I would say 'yes' - I notice trying to explain the unexplainable feels like talking in circles, never ending.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Aware of more - trust myself more.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Sometimes I feel very 'homesick' - I long to be in that 'light' more.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Every chance I get - if people are interested. Some people are happy not knowing. I do not imagine that if they don't know now, they won't know 'then', because God knows everything and everyone, all ways.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Drugs is like dreaming with your eyes open - NDE is different from that.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? If people weren't so afraid to 'die' they wouldn't be so busy killing each other.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? If I could do it again, would I? YES, I would. Has life here been easier because of it? Yes and no.