Following an accident it is difficult to pin down exactly when during the following week that I had the experience, as I was in surgery much and also in an Coma for the following week. I do remember being transferred from one Accident and Emergency Hospital to a specialist unit, as the medics could not help further and after being resuscitated and deteriorating further as part of the experience. The ambulance that took me by police escort to the specialist trauma surgical team drove for a distance up a motorway at night.
When I awoke from the coma, I had a clear recollection of Flying above the scene looking down going backwards looking down on the ambulance, keeping pace with it. I also remembered clearly a family member in the front of the ambulance going with me being sick into a bag. This was verified afterwards and the only part of the experience that I can put an actual exact time on.
The following experiences in memory don't seem to be linked as following on directly from that. I remember clearly though initially being in a very big void of darkness. There was some danger or negative aspects/beings/entities involved but I did not remember seeing or experiencing them just being aware of them. Then I moved quickly to a warm and absolute feeling of love and light. On the way through to it I was stopped. Some beings both what seemed like beings of light and love, and some family members who had passed away were in a semi-circle and I stopped just before them. They looked (the family members) as they did on earth but where not material and all had much light, calmness and serenity about them. I saw my Aunty who died at age seven one year before I was born. I described to family members the exact clothes, and certain jewelry she had on the day she died, which was confirmed. It was impossible to have this information without seeing it. They seemed to be welcoming me. The beings of light with them seemed not to have ever been in a material body. They could be described as angels. However, they had no wings but I can understand where that comes from in history. The love radiating from their hearts was so powerful and large it surrounded their upper body almost like wings.
This bit is a bit blurred. I seemed to leave them but I don't remember moving, before coming back to them later. I went to the light, which was above them, and it was just pure unconditional love and acceptance. As I moved towards it I felt no fear but do remember saying/thinking that I was sorry for anything wrong I had done in life. At that time, I then experienced a partial life review.
Many events in my life I experienced, but not from how I remembered it, but from the point of view, I experienced it from how the people, animals, environment experienced it around me. I felt it as my own. The times I had made others happy, and sad, I felt it all as they did. It was very apparent that every single thought word and action affects everything around the entire universe, and indeed us including trees, plants, and animals too. I have been a long term vegetarian since about eighteen years old and I know this was appreciated and is a good choice in life. Spiritually it seemed to show proof of respect for all life, and even seemed to balance some of the negative and wicked things I have done in my life. In the Life review we judge ourselves; no one else does, the light/God did not, but with no ego left and no lies, we can't hide from what we have done and feel remorse and shame, especially in the presence of this love and light.
Some of the things in life we think of as important don't seem to be so important there. But some of the insignificant things from the material human perspective are very important spiritually.
After this review there seemed to be some kind of balance that I had done wrong, however I had done much good to, and as I was genuinely sorry for those things I then started to get closer to the light again, it is beyond description, the love, acceptance and oneness of everything is so profound.
Then though, and I am not sure if this is just a disjointed memory, or if it happened in the timeline like this, I was back with the semi-circle of beings and family. I seemed to be looking up at my grandfather; he had so much love and light about him for me. He wanted me to go with him, but I knew I had to go to the light not with him. He seemed sad but still full of love for me. As I looked up a Tear fell from his right eye as if he would miss me. This is why it is disjointed as below:
I seemed to be practically next to the light/love. I hesitate to use the word God as it is non-judging, and we create our world more than I realized before, we can create a heaven or hell depending on what we do in life, surely the starving fields of Africa with children dying hot, arid diseases, war is hell, and the joyous bliss of love and helping is heaven? We create this not someone else, also God is a separate thing this love and light to my experience was oneness, something in all of us we block out as I will describe further now.
I was ready to start to merge with the love and light, but not fully and seemed to for a while (though time does not exists as we experience it there) the feeling of oneness and love and bliss and knowing is profound. I knew if I merged totally 'I' would disappear would become one will it and all. Being so close to it and bathing in it was an experience that can never ever be put into words or described properly. As I was resting close to it and getting closer and closer, basking I became aware of the earth way below me/us. I was at that time asking many questions, which were answered, anything I wanted to know and understand, I remember clearly understanding everything, however this information seems to have been blocked upon returning to material form, but I know I understood all then.
Seeing the earth, I became aware of several things. I could see many other spirits, beings, who were also leaving their bodies and moving away from the earth. However many of them in their spiritual bodies seemed to not be able to see the light and love above. They had almost like clouds above their heads, like clouds blocking out the sun, it's still there but we can't see it. I was very aware that those clouds were their thought and feeling patterns, the more angry, hateful, bitter, etc., the bigger and darker these clouds which is just another description for their minds. The more negative ones also seemed to be looking down not even up. I could experience their feelings, anger, etc. I wanted them to look up and see the love and come to the light, but I couldn't get my message to them. This is part of the experience that is not nice.
Those negative beings seemed to come from the earth and go down away from the light, I was aware of them going to a void/darkness/suffering or perpetual round and round in circles in their experiences/mind of the negative record player almost habits of thoughts and feelings. I was aware of them going somewhere like hell, but I was not allowed to remember it or it has been blocked from my memory. The love and light didn't want them to experience that, and was doing all it could to let them come to it. But they could not or would not accept or see it. It was obvious they were creating this experience, not a separate devil or God punishing them. Maybe their life review filled them with so much remorse they had to punish themselves. Maybe in the life review they did not feel any remorse and just felt anger at when others had felt good in their suffering or downfall.
I do know though that it was their choice, their creation, not a separate God's choice or devil. I never experienced any type of separate devil or being calling them. They just could not see the light their minds/hearts were obstructed by their current and past thoughts, habits, it was there so bright and obvious to me but they just could not see it. Maybe it was where I was going or what I experienced in the beginning when in the void and seemed aware of some negative entities/beings. I am no saint and have done much wrong in my life so I do not understand still why I was never like that myself.
Some were coming to the light, or looking up had no dark swirling or just a bit of energy above and around their heads. But from what I remember only a really small percentage maybe one in a hundred or less. I am still worried to this day about the following as I am scared to become one of those who couldn't see it.
I became aware too, of beings mainly human on the earth still alive, and could again see this either clearness or light about them or dark swirling thoughts energy. Again very, very few seemed to be positive. A few, a couple in each continent, seemed to be material form and able to see the light whilst alive, they were looking up smiling aware of it with no dark negative thoughts/energies around them, maybe ten or twenty in the whole world. The rest of humanity had a mixture, but most were looking down and had much darkness about them. I then understood at that time that this is an important time indeed on the earth, there are other planets and other beings out there, but for humans on the earth this is a very important time. We seem to be on a precipice and either total destruction or a better way seems to be on a razor edge. This love/Light is not going to do anything to us, or smite us, we do it all and we create it all. We choose by our love for others and helping or selfishness. I was made aware of some things coming up very important but this again was blocked. It seemed as if two scenarios could play out on earth, one of them made me so sad but again I can't remember it it's blocked.
Whilst watching this, which probably happened in less than a second as time is so different there, I was getting closer to the light but turning away from facing it watching this on the earth and souls leaving the material. I had a feeling of such love for all beings, and such sadness at the pain and confusion by those who couldn't see this love and light but had died; and those on the earth suffering, these emotions were so unlike anything I've ever experienced. So strong, and I realized too, that our emotions - that love and compassion is what ultimately holds everything together, all is love but, like the clouds of energy above many, we just don't see it. It does not mean though that it doesn't not pervade all that is, and is in every atom and molecule.
My heart seemed to leap out wanting to help ease the suffering of what I could see I just wanted to help, to let all experience some of this love and light that I was basking in.
With that thought, the experience changed immediately I felt like on a rollercoaster falling over the top, moving faster than light itself.
That was the last of the experience. I awoke from the coma in December 2004 about a week after the accident. I had been resuscitated a few times. I also had emergency surgery a few times. It was said I would never walk or talk again on December 3, even if I survived. I walked unaided out of the hospital with no drugs or support package on December 23, 2004. The stats for my mortality were 75% day one, 90% in following two to three days. Yearly 20-30% mortality every year since. 0-5% chance of communicating/walking again thereafter, then with difficulty.
It took me a year of many, many repeated tests and such like to persuade the Driving Authorities in the UK Medical Department that the recovery had happened. I have a letter from their medical department stating that even though what happened it is obvious this is the case, and I have again a full driving license.
I experienced an Epidural Hematoma three times. I was not found until at least five hours after the event and already at Glasgow coma scale of 2-3 when the paramedics arrived. I had half of my skull removed to deflate the pressure, and to access the bleeds, which made me crash two times within admittance to the specialist department. These events are very dangerous anyway and carry high mortality and long-term disabilities. To say mine was at the extreme end of such an event is to put it mildly, as it was three times and initial surgery did not work and the length of time until treatment.
The fact I walked unaided with no painkillers and with no support package out of hospital less than one month later, or two weeks from waking from coma in the specialist intensive care unit with half of or most of my right skull removed is in itself some proof that the events were extraordinary.
I did also experienced for a couple of days after waking an awareness of non-material beings in the hospital, the same sorts of beings that I experienced in the NDE. Some beings were bad, some were good. I no longer am aware of them. I could almost see them. Sometimes now I get a feeling that a particularly powerful good or bad one is near.
Date NDE Occurred: Nov 28th - Dec 5th 2004
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Surgery-related. Direct head injury. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Glasgow coma scale 0-1. Coma for seven to eight days. Life support. Intensive care unit. Resuscitation. Emergency Surgery three times.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All of it, but especially so when close to the light and beings, seemed foggy or weighed down in the void bit. Not alert just aware and watching when chasing the ambulance in the initial NDE like an passive observer.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time is an illusion it is very different there one second could be millions of years and vice versa, thoughts and movement are not contradicted by time in spirit.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is so different description is futile.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Maybe the initial void.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes See main narrative.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes See main narrative.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Initial Void and Light.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, Compassion, Peace, Joy, Fear, Purpose.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Everything that you do to others you will experience yourself from their point of view, there is no you and I, just all is one, but in this lifetime our perception limits it to our experience of this body. We are all 'God' experiencing itself from different points of view. Animals are important to, they feel, all beings that feel pain or pleasure are in your hands, it is the right thing to do to never cause pain or be violent. Always show compassion. Love others as you love your own eyes.
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Blocked, unaware, of what saw. However have had some quite strong intuition/psychic at times since, no control over that, always right. No such experiences though for past one or two years.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Strong RC catholic in youth. Lost faith in teenage years of organized church. Strong though continuing beliefs Buddhism and Karma. Currently Practicing Karma Kagyu Tibetan Buddhist.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes More spiritual.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'As above, all the paths/religions are right if the teachings of love are embodied. Very tolerant. Some people like Italian food some spicy food, all food different tastes.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes More spiritual.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Has been blocked mainly.
Mostly that everything is love, and we stop ourselves from our habits, thoughts, words, deeds and actions from experiencing and seeing this. We can as humans on this earth plane if we work at it properly experience this love and light of the popular 'God' whilst incarnate. The choice is ours not some separate being entity. Nothing is hidden; there are many beings both good and bad watching us at all times. You are NEVER alone so your secrets good and bad will always come sooner or later.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes As they would for anyone after it.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Words cannot convey most of what I experienced as there is no language to describe it. Also names, language and labels 'separate' things into this and that, the biggest part of the experience is 'oneness' so words do not convey this. Even 'Oneness' implies something else which is false from that plane or state of experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes No control, have tailed off. Mainly Psychic. Some healing ability if I can feel that love again in my heart and focus it. Very hard to do.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Within twenty-four hours of waking from coma.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Live in the west, some things on TV I suppose once or twice, never took any real notice or searched for material. Mainly had been interested in reincarnation and stories on that, not NDE.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real More real than dream world we make with our ego's and anger, hatred, etc. More real than most of my experience since it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real More intense, powerful and profound than any material experience I have ever had.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Spiritual practice Meditation, focusing on the experience of the love in the light. Partial way to becoming one again with all.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Unconditional Love is the only truth there is.