In March 1993 I was living in Del Rio, Texas with my husband (we have since divorced). We decided to see a fertility doctor in San Antonio, Texas. We had been married 3 years and we wanted children. I had a history of reproductive problems so we decided to see a fertility specialist. The doctor we saw said the best thing for me to do was to let him do a laparoscopic procedure on me so he could see what we were dealing with. I arrived at the hospital in San Antonio and everything was pretty much routine as far as outpatient surgeries go. I had not contacted any family to let them know I was having the surgery. The doctor told me it was minor surgery and I would be going home the same day shortly after the surgery.
The first thing I remember after waking from the surgery was to see my husband sitting next to me. The nurse came in and told me I needed to try to sit up and drink something. I thought Ok, this is routine and going well. When I tried to sit up my head felt like there were ocean waves in there. It sounded like swoosh swoosh of waves. I couldn't hold my head up, much less sit up. When I told the nurse what I was feeling she looked worried. Then I felt myself moving and when I opened my eyes, I was told that I was being moved into the main hospital to a room. I was taken to a regular room for observation. Not long after being admitted to a regular room, I transferred to the ICU.
My first memory of being in ICU was to awaken to seeing a team of doctors around my bed. They told me I was bleeding internally and the doctors were trying to stop it without having to do surgery. My family came in from Louisiana the next day. My mother, father, brother, sister and aunt were there. My family put me on prayer lines so there were hundreds of people praying for my family and me.
Just 9 months earlier our family lost my brother and grandfather within 2 weeks of each other, and 9 months before my brother and grandfather, my aunt's son passed away. So my extended family had prayer warriors working on the situation.
For the next week, I fought for my life with every ounce of strength I had left in my mind and my body. As the days went by my body weakened in spite of all the doctors were trying to do for me. Each day I continued to endure the pain of the testing and the medications they were giving me.
When I was conscious, I would overhear the nurses and doctors talking about my condition. They could not do surgery because my organs were shutting down so quickly. They were trying drugs to stop the bleeding and they continued to give me blood to replace what was being lost.
When the doctors had done all they could they called a family meeting and told my family that they had done all they could. They were giving me four hours to regain consciousness. If nothing changed with my condition in four hours, my family would have to decide if they wanted to put me on life support. The last thing the doctors told my family was that it's up to him now while pointing to heaven.
Well, God had a different type of life support in mind for me. Yes, it was Jesus Christ.
This is how I remember what happened. I found myself sitting in the back seat of a vehicle. When I got out of the vehicle there was a man standing there that I immediately knew was Jesus. I felt like I was in the presence of someone that I had always known. My spirit felt it more than my mind did. I said, 'You're Jesus aren't you?' He gave me that smile that only Jesus can give and I knew the answer without him having to say anything. We walked and talked for a while beside the River of Life. One of the many things I loved there was that Jesus and I did not verbally speak to each other. He knew and answered my thoughts and I didn't need to open my mouth.
I caught a glimpse of his eyes, which he allowed me to do. They are the most beautiful color I had even seen. They are light brown with flecks of amber color that shines with love.
I asked Jesus 'What do you do here in Heaven?' He looked at me with this humorous smile that is beyond explanation in human words. He smiles with love that comes from every cell in his being. He said 'I do what is required of me by the Father.' I said 'OK, so what are you doing now?' Jesus said 'I am working with the Angels'. He then showed me what I can only describe as an army of Angels. There were row upon row upon row of them as far I could see. They looked like big flames of blue and white light mixed together. He said he was getting them ready. I knew what he meant without him having to explain it. When you are there, you know some things without having to ask.
As we walked back to the vehicle, I looked off into the distance behind me. I could see a line of people walking across a bridge. When they were on my side of the bridge, they looked dull. Once on the other side, they were wearing white garments and looked bright.
I looked at Jesus and asked if that was the way to Heaven. He smiled and said, 'Yes.' I then asked, 'Can I go there right now?' Jesus said 'Yes, you may go. God is ready for you anytime you are ready to go home'. I said 'Yes, I'm ready' At that point I said 'I want my husband to go with me' Jesus smiled that forever patient loving smile of his and said, 'God is not ready for him yet, he can't go with you.' So I looked at Jesus and said, 'I don't want to go to heaven without my husband, so I'm not going'.
We then walked over next to the river then Jesus took both my hands turning my palms upward. While holding my hands he said, 'I want you to remember something. You are of a royal lineage. You are a child of God. The Most High God. You live in the world, but are not of the world. Your rightful place is in heaven with the Father'. I said 'Yes, I understand'.
The whole while he was telling me this I felt like I was the most precious most loved most beloved person in existence. Next, I asked, 'Just what is your relationship to me?' Jesus said, 'I am your brother'. I said, 'I know that's what the Bible says, so it's true then?' Jesus said, 'Yes, I am your brother. We have the same blood running through our veins. I will never leave you or forsake you. I will always be there for you. Never ever forget who you are'. I just stood there looking around us for a while. He then said, 'Now go back to your bed and wake up'.
There were things that I talked about with Jesus that I did not know or believe at the time. Certain truths that I now know are:
1. A person cannot under any circumstances be in the presence of God or anywhere near the throne of God without Jesus. It is just not possible. God wants us to be near him and desires it greatly. Jesus is truly the doorway to the throne of God.
2. The Bible is the sacred living word of God given to man to help us exist in this world. The Word of God should be treated with respect and considered the utmost holy of holies in a Christian life.
There is no other truth by which our very existence is dependent on. To incorrectly use or interrupt the word of god is blasphemy. If people knew just how holy the written word of God is, there would be an Ark in every Christian home where they would keep their bible when not in use.
3. There are no human words to describe Jesus. Being in the presence of Jesus is being in the presence of pure love. Anyone can have a relationship with Jesus as long as you bring your truth to him. It is impossible to try to hide anything from Jesus.
4. Satan and demons are real. Hell is real. Demons cannot exist in the presence of Jesus. They will retreat back into the darkness they came from when Jesus appears.
Now almost 20 years after I can still feel every emotion like it was happening now.
In the past 20 years, I have been through many experience and each time Jesus was there to see me through without my knowing it was him. Many times, he saved me from either a physical, mental or spiritual death.
Five years ago Jesus said it was time for me to take a stand for what I believed. So I told Him I am going to stand with you and believe in the Bible.
Date NDE Occurred: March 1993
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I was bleeding internally.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I could hear/feel Jesus thoughts without us having to physical verbalize what we were talking about.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While I was talking with Jesus.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Prior to the experience it was like I was living with my eyes closed. After the experience my eyes were wide open.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During the experience it was much cleared. It was like I was hearing with every cell in my being.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The color of the atmosphere is difficult to explain.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I think it was the edge of Heaven. The River I think is the River of Life.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love. Being a part of something much bigger than my human life.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I felt like a part of the Universe, not just Earth. I knew things without having to ask questions. It's like all knowledge from the beginning of time is stored in my memory somehow.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I know I saw some things. Can't always remember them. I have a 'knowing' about things that will happen.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I told Jesus I did not want to go the Heaven without my husband.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I was what is known as a "Backslidden" Born Again Christian
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Yes I stand by Jesus and believe the Bible.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I am a rededicated Born Again Child of God Christian.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I doubted Heaven, Jesus, God, Holy Spirit. I now know it's true.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am certain that God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, Heaven is real. And I know that Satan/demons/hell is real.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Yes Jesus.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Yes, it's true that we are all a part of the whole Universe.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I walked and talked with Jesus. When you are there you just have a "knowing" about God.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Sometimes I know that there were things I saw that I can't remember.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes There is life after death in heaven. We enter at the level depending on our needs when we get there.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes We humans do not understand our relation to the Universe.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes God's love is real.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I was a completely different person. I went through very difficult experiences trying to find answers to the questions about what happened. What I've found out is that what Jesus said is true; my rightful place is in Heaven with The Father. It's been very difficult living here knowing what I know. There have been many times I've regretted coming back here.
Still to this day, I can't tell people about it. I can't even find a Church that understands. So, I do the best I can with my Bible and Prayer.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes My marriage ended in Divorce. I have only one friend that I can talk with about this.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's difficult to verbalize a feeling/emotion. There are no words that will ever fully describe what I saw there and felt.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience My memories before this NDE are foggy. My memory of the year after the NDE is foggy too.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Before my experience I had a little psychic abilities in the form of dreams. After the experience they got stronger.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, seeing Jesus and the River of Life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Over the years I've tried to tell people. No one seemed interested in hearing about it or didn't believe me so I quit talking about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I may have heard about it on TV but not much if at all.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real After the NDE my memory is foggy. I do remember clearly though that I was very upset with myself for coming back.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It's a "knowing" you have about it.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes There are times in prayer when I find myself talking with Jesus beside the same river. The only difference is that now I'm wearing a white robe when I'm in his presence.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I sure would like to find someone who has had a similar experience.